Bride's makeup artist almost 'fires her as a client' over bridesmaid's requests. UPDATED

There's nothing quite like an allergic reaction to ruin the vibe, especially an allergic reaction with mysterious roots that feels near impossible to explain to others. Trying to avoid clear triggers is hard enough, but trying to avoid vague and nebulous triggers is a feat in itself.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for reaching out to a wedding MUA behind the bride's back to check for allergens. She wrote:

"AITA for reaching out to the bride's MUA [makeup artist] behind the bride's back and almost getting the entire bridal party fired as clients?"

The bride, "Rika", is super nice and undemanding. Her main request to the bridesmaids was having hair and makeup done by the same HMUA (Rika paying) the morning of the wedding for the getting-ready hangout. Rika had her mind set on a specific HMUA that offered a fancy bridal experience with lots of extras and she was very excited about it.

I wear bold, dramatic makeup daily. I had no issue sticking to Rika’s very different preferred style for her wedding. However, over the last few years, I had a number of painful reactions to makeup products and I was never able to figure out the trigger. If I immediately take makeup off pain goes away in hours and discomfort fades in a few days.

While reactions are rare, I now stick to specific makeup lines I know work for me. I asked Rika if she could ask the HMUA what products they use; or I could do my own makeup while everyone else was getting theirs done (trying for the same look). But Rika just kept saying she had a reputable MUA that followed professional standards of hygiene, and that the makeup would be quite light.

It seemed in her head, reactions could only happen with a shady MUA or heavy makeup. Rika said she could pay for me to have a trial done on the same day she’d have hers so I don't have to worry. I agreed like a dumb@$$, then realised that didn’t work, because if the MUA used a triggering product, I would still have a painful reaction just on a different day.

I messaged Rika again, and had the same pointless conversations. The trial day was coming. I didn't want to just cancel…it made sense in my head to message the MUA with my question directly. Unexpectedly, the MUA straight up said she can't work on me for liability reasons as I cannot identify problem ingredients. Not even using products I name as safe. She also asked if the bride was aware.

Turns out Rika had filled out a form that confirmed no one had known makeup sensitivities. I don't blame Rika, she signs medical and customs forms without reading them. But the MUA was enraged: she almost fired Rika as a client, 5 weeks ahead of the wedding (they worked it out; FWIW I haven’t ever heard of a MUA with such forms or such a hardcore stance in general).

Rika and her maid of honour since implied I was intentionally sabotaging so I could do my usual "attention-grabbing" makeup. I'm hoping that's MOH/ bride-stress talking and not what Rika really thinks of me.

Several people told me I should’ve just risked it, considering my reactions (and the chance of them occurring in the first place) are relatively minor. The more people say this, the more I'm thinking maybe that IS what is expected of a friend. Obviously, my worst move was messaging the MUA directly.

But I wasn't getting anywhere with Rika and I was afraid that she'd be mad if I just said I wasn't doing the HMUA thing. But the more I think of it, going behind her back on something so important to her may make me the AH.

People had lots of comments and questions to add.

LongjumpingSnow6986 wrote:

NTA, addressing your medical needs directly is totally reasonable! Tbh I would be willing to quit the bridal party over it. You never know when a skin reaction could turn to something more serious.

Significant-Spite-72 wrote:

I have make-up allergies, too. Not worth the antihistamine shot if I get it wrong. I just don't wear the wretched stuff. I'd be putting my medical needs first too. Tbh probably wouldn't even trial it. Fortunately, all my loved ones know and as a result wouldn't expect me to wear it, even as a member of a bridal party. NTA but I can see why it'd raise questions if you routinely wear make-up.

Slytherin125 wrote:

NTA a reputable makeup artist would be okay with you bringing your own products for her to use if you are allergic.

tokoloshe62 wrote:

NTA, but I’m a bit mystified about why you reached out when you already had a trial slot booked. You could’ve gone to the trial and looked through the makeup the MUA had and potentially done some spot tests of products you were unsure of, and not let her out anything on your face that you thought would cause you harm. Rika would also have been in the room to navigate the confusion with the MUA.

pamelaonthego wrote:

Why can’t you just bring your own makeup and have the MUA apply it? It seems like a no brainer to me. I also wonder why the bride failed to disclose you had sensitivities after you mentioned it. NTA.

After receiving lots of questions, OP jumped on with a few updates.

ETA: People keep asking about patch tasting: my reactions only trigger on my lips and eyelids, arm swatching or w/e doesn't help.

ETA2: I've been to doctors and had allergy testing done. Nothing. They think it's not a "true" allergy but a reaction to something my body finds particularly irritating for some reason. There's no obvious common ingredient. I have every outwards symptom for referred pollen energy but not an actual pollen allergy.

Clearly, OP is NTA here, it just sounds like a complicated situation.