'AITA for asking my bridesmaid to cover her tattoo or she’s not invited?'
The wedding party is a blessing and a curse. It's one of the only times in your life you're going to have a guest list big enough to accommodate everyone you want. Problem is, it's big enough to accommodate plenty of people you don't want, too. In the case of one Redditor, she's finding the balance leans definitively towards curse.
'AITA for asking my bridesmaid to cover up or she’s not invited?'
I’m from the southern US, getting married so basically all of my sisters and cousins are my bridesmaids.
Before asking one sister in particular to be a bridesmaid, I explained that although I love her dearly, my wedding isn’t the place to show off her tattoo and to please have it covered. She went on to say would i be asking the other bridesmaids or even the groomsmen if they were going to cover up their tattoos.
I said probably not because none of them had a naked woman about the size of their hand [with private parts exposed]
She said well then she won’t be a bridesmaid. I said that’s fine and I understand but she won’t be at the wedding period if she doesn’t cover it up. If anyone has anything crude or explicit at the wedding they will be asked to leave. There will be children in attendance and people me and my fiancé work with.
We are getting married in October. By no means will she be in the sweltering heat. The bridesmaids dresses also ensure that it would be mostly covered to an extent but you would still see the bottom half of the very bared naked lady.
She’s not backing down and I’ve asked the wife, Paige, of a groomswoman to just please be on standby if she can and she can just escort her wife down the aisle.
Edit: the tattoo isn’t just a “naked lady,” like Venus de Milo. It is a naked woman, [in a suggestive position]. I offered that she could wear a suit like one of the groomswoman is wearing.
My sister uses she/they pronouns and will sometimes dress more masculine. Finally, she asked to be a bridesmaid. I gave her the option of backing out and it wouldn’t hurt my feelings and she agreed.
Here's how the uninvited people of Reddit weighed in:
From Crescent_moon_995:
Nta it's a graphic tattoo and there will be kids at it , plus the attitude problem
From Nitro114:
Normally i‘d say Y.T.A but given what the tattoo is NTA
From extremeeyeroll:
NTA. She’s welcome to the wedding if she covers up her naked lady tat. I love tattoos, I think they’re beautiful art, but, if you have a full on naked woman you have to understand that when children are present this is just not acceptable. Not that there is anything wrong with a woman’s body, but if you’re uncomfortable, then you’re uncomfortable.
From Tesmarin:
NTA and congrats on having one of the few AITA posts about asking someone to cover up that doesn't automatically make you TA
From imothro:
NTA for not wanting pornography on display at a wedding hosting children. This wasn't the hill for this woman to choose to die on.
From EastSeaweed:
NTA. Can’t she just get some eyeliner and draw some undies on the tat for the night??
Not a bad compromise.