Dad gives son $5k for wedding, son says 'I'll pay for the rest,' dad calls him 'entitled.'

There's nothing quite like wedding costs to create tension in a family.

With inflation and the truly wild global economy, everything costs an arm and a leg, and that's exponential when you consider how much the wedding industrial complex jacks up prices.

Needless to say, that tradition of parents paying for a wedding requires far more disposable income than ever before, which can create a lot of stress.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he was wrong for calling his son 'spoiled' over wedding costs.

He wrote:

AITA for telling my son he and his fiancée is spoiled?

I’ll try to keep this short. My (M57) son (M23) is engaged to Peggy (F22). They have been engaged for 5 months or so. Our culture dictates that Peggy’s father and I share the costs for their wedding. He (her father) said we should provide $10k each, a total $20k budget. I could afford this sure but This seems insane and extravagant to me. I said I would give $5k and he could give whatever he wanted.

Peggy’s father also put up 5k. I told my son this and he told me outright it wasn’t going to be enough. He said “I don’t mind, I figured that me and Peggy would have to pay for some of the wedding.” I asked what he meant. He said no way would they be able to do their wedding in under $10k. I said my own wedding, after haggling and deals, only came out to around $7k so I do not think this is an issue.

He argued against me and said that my wedding was 40 years ago and prices were different. He outlined some prices and said the cheapest venue he could find was $5k, and food alone was going to be $2,5k. He again said he didn’t mind and he thanked me for giving them money for the wedding but I honestly felt hurt that he thought we were not giving enough.

I said how could food come out to 2500 dollars and he said that that was only around $25 per person. I suggested ordering pizzas or sub sandwiches but he looked at me like I was crazy. I said okay well we can just offer less for the photographer and decorator and he said that isn’t how things are done.

I said it is how things are done, and maybe if Peggy and him weren’t so spoiled and expecting the best of the best for everything then $10k would be plenty. After I said this he just closed his eyes and thanked me for the money and basically told me to get out. I was complaining about this instance to my wife and she told me I was being a stick in the mud and it’s his only wedding.

My friends agree with me though. AITA?

People did not hold back their true thoughts about OP.

Allaboutbird wrote:

Yes, YTA. He thanked you for the money and is planning on paying for the rest. How they spend their money isn't your business. Can you seriously not envision that prices have increased over several decades?

poeadam wrote:

YTA. $7,000 in 1983 is about $24.5k now, so by your logic you should be giving him $12k, not $5k or $10k. Obviously, you aren't obligated to give him any money, but he kindly accepted the $5k you offered and you had no place to then berate him about how he was overspending, and you have no reason to 'feel hurt' over this.

Special_Respond7372 wrote:

YTA. An average wedding these days is about $25k, depending on where you live. Your son and future DIL aren’t spoiled; they handled this gracefully by making it clear they don’t mind paying for some of the wedding themselves and thanking you multiple times for contributing. You calling them spoiled was out of line and you should apologize.

mfruitfly wrote:

YTA. First, give whatever you want, but then don't get mad when your son tells you that he is going to then spend HIS OWN money for other parts of the wedding. You don't get to decide how much their wedding should cost, you only get to decide how much you want to contribute. Second, did you serve pizza and subs at your wedding?

If the cultural aspect of paying is so important to you, what are the other cultural traditions of this wedding, and would your family and friends been good with pizza when you got married? By the way, I'm down with pizza for a wedding, but you being very invested in one part of the cultural tradition of a wedding while thinking going cheap on other major parts is...interesting.

Third, no you don't get to just pay vendors less. And finally, do you really not realize that stuff costs more than 20 years ago? Your wedding cost $7k, and let's say it was 24 years ago (your son is 23, so I'm going with you had your son after you were married). Just by using the general US inflation calculator, $7k in the year 1999 would cost $13k in the current year. And that's inflation, not buying power.

If you go by buying power, it is easily over $20k to get the same thing you got for $7k decades ago. That's such basic comprehension that things cost more than 24 years ago, I can't believe you can't apply common sense to this conversation.

catskilkid wrote:

YTA. Dude, I too am 57 and know things from back then. Yes, things were cheaper then BUT do you really think 10k today can buy what 10k bought 40 years ago? Obviously, you have a job and saved money so it is inconceivable that you would try to compare 40 years ago prices to todays.

(In fact, adjusted for inflation since 1983 your $7500 would be today's $22,975 https://www.usinflationcalculator.com).

Your son thanked you and was appreciative (you're projecting that he felt you were not giving enough was because you knew you were being cheap compared to your future in-law) and communicated what he was going to do to make up the difference and you pulled the I remember when it was a nickel when I was young line?!!!!

Get ahold of your time, try not to be that old dude and stop talking with those friends who either have not gotten the whole story or are too old to remember that Pinball is not the biggest game at the Arcade.

OP is clearly a giant AH, there's no way around it.