Man takes half day off for SIL's wedding, she's mad he won't 'be around' for rehearsals.

Weddings require a lot from everyone.

The couple getting married might have the most obvious load of obligations and costs, but even the guests without responsibilities need to take time off, figure out transportation, and have an outfit in order.

If you're not given proper notice, it can radically affect just how much of the wedding festivities you're able to swing.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he was wrong for only carving out half the day for his sister-in-law's wedding.

He wrote:

AITA for not taking the whole day off for SIL wedding because she didn’t make me a part of it?

My wife’s sister (SIL) is getting married on a Saturday this summer. I have a shaky relationship with SIL, as she “jokes” about me during family events. Humor is one thing, but these tend to always be negative jokes about my character. Because of this, I have always thought that she doesn’t like me.

I was waiting for her to possibly ask me to play some role in the wedding, since my wife is maid of honor and our only son is ring bearer. The couple did not ask me to play a role in any way. I asked what time I had to be at the wedding and I was told noon. I work a 12-hour shift on the wedding day so I decided to just take 6 hours off so I could be there around noon but I’ll still have to be up at 0400 the next day for work.

I found out from my wife that SIL and future BIL are extremely upset and have been intentionally ignoring me since they found out. They told my wife they expected me to take the entire day off (I work 12 hours every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday) because they think of me as a brother and assumed I would just want to be there for the rehearsal, dinner, morning of wedding, and wedding/reception.

Them not asking me to play a role, especially with my wife and our son having roles, confirmed for me that they don’t like me, so I felt no obligation to take the morning of the wedding off of which I have no part. I work 12-hour shifts, and taking one day off really cuts into my available PTO so this played a factor in my decision as well.

I’m in no way upset for not having a role and my decision was in no way retaliatory. It’s not my wedding so I don’t make the calls, so it doesn’t bother me. My wife defended me and told SIL how they have always made me feel in this conversation they had when all this came up, but neither SIL or future BIL have tried to talk to me. AITA?

Edit: Our son will be with my mother the morning of the wedding and I am bringing our son to the wedding, getting him in his tux, etc. My decision did not leave my wife responsible for our son and maid of honor duties that would be horrible.

The jury of Reddit commenters quickly convened to share their verdicts with the court of the internet.

type1error wrote:

They are 'extremely upset' that somebody who is not in the wedding party did not cancel everything going on that person's life so they could sit around and do nothing while the wedding party did wedding party things? NTA.

Expensive-Day-3551 wrote:

I don’t think brother-in-laws typically play a part in the wedding unless they are super close with the couple. And they should not expect you to be there the entire day without being in the wedding.

JJjingleheymerschmit wrote:

NTA! And I honestly don’t understand why so many people are saying Y T A! It’s not like you told them to f#$k off or you weren’t going to their wedding, you’re just going to work but still also going to the wedding. If you weren’t invited to any wedding-related stuff then I don’t blame you man, it is what it is.

Sea-Butterscotch383 wrote:

NTA.

You still have a life and obligation outside their wedding.

People need to stop acting like their wedding takes precedence or it’s a national holiday. They are likely only upset because you not taking part in every event highlights their indifference or dislike. They’re setting it up to make you look like the ah even though it’s them.

OP is definitely NTA here, it sounds like his in-laws just want an excuse to be mad at him.