Man plans to skip nephew's wedding because husband isn't invited, sister says 'just come.'

Navigating family homophobia is an incredibly loaded experience for any LGBTQ person.

Homophobia shows up in lots of ways, it's not always as cut-and-dry as a loud violent rejection. In many ways, the subtle and surprising ways it shows up can be harder to handle, since there's not an obvious response.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he's wrong for refusing to attend his nephew's wedding after discovering his husband isn't invited.

He wrote:

AITA for refusing to go to my nephew’s wedding?

I’m a 60-year-old gay male. I’ve been with my partner for 20 years, and we’ve been married for 6. We probably would have been married much sooner, but, you know, they didn’t let us. My 30-year-old nephew is getting married, and I was invited to his wedding and my husband was not. There was no feud or tension or argument, in fact we all had a very happy Thanksgiving together.

They just didn’t invite him. I’ve been so angry about it I didn’t think it was best to talk to my sister, but my other sister spoke to her and she said it was a religious thing, and she objected but her husband and son were hearing none of it. I let my family know that I will not be attending, because in my view, rejecting my husband is rejecting me.

Now they are trying to persuade me to go anyway, saying “just come and have a good time, we want you there.” Again, I don’t think my sister and her family want me there. I am really disappointed because I haven’t seen my mom and my other sisters (and nieces and nephews) since Thanksgiving and I was looking forward to it.

We live hundreds of miles away and don’t get the chance to see them often. Also, my mom is over 80, and I consider every time I see her to possibly be the last time. Anyway, I’m getting a guilt trip, and so far I’m sticking to my guns, but AITA?

People had strong feelings about OP's quandary.

Traveling-Techie wrote:

Tell them you’ll be happy to attend if your sister’s husband and son don’t come, because it’s against your beliefs to make nice with homophobes. I’m sure everyone will understand. NTA.

OrangeCubit wrote:

NTA - when they ask why you aren’t going just reply “it’s a religious thing.”

BaseTensMachine wrote:

I feel like there needs to be a standardized response to these things. Clearly, as you are uncomfortable with homosexuals, we'd like to respect your homophobia by not being present at your wedding.

We wouldn't want to violate anyone's belief by being homosexual at a heterosexual wedding. Much luck to you in continuing to your heterosexuals-only lifestyle, we will do our best to respect how very much you do not want us in your lives.

BoundPrincess84 wrote:

NTA. Ask them if they would attend a wedding where they were told their spouse wasn't allowed because of a 'religious thing'. The fact that they invited you and not your husband shows their hypocrisy and that it must not be that big of a 'religious thing.' Telling you to 'just come and have a good time while we reject your partner' is staggeringly rude. Stick to your guns, don't go.

Clearly, despite the surprise element, OP is one thousand percent doing the right thing by standing up for himself and his husband. If his nephew really feels disappointed, then he should step in to defend OP.