Woman on probation can't drink at sister's wedding; sister is 'visibly hurt.' AITA?

"AITA for telling my sister I won’t drink at her wedding?"

I (20F) am the maid of honor in my sister’s (32F) wedding in a few months. My reputation is known as being fun and upbeat and a little wild, and upholding that reputation landed me a MIP/MIC (Minor in Possession/Consumption of Alcohol) earlier this year, and since it was my first run-in with the law, it scared the s#$t out of me. I turned my life around in a matter of a week or two.

Got a good job (for a college student), picked up on my studies, prioritized myself, quit going out, and ditched all the people who only hung around me because of my in’s and popularity at bars/parties. Doing this has helped a lot of my depression IMMENSELY, because I know the people I hold close care about me for me, not for any other benefits.

My sister is already a little mad at me, because I got my MIP right before her bachelorette and I refused to use a fake ID to get into the 21+ events she had planned. She told me “well, we’ll make an exception for the wedding. My best dance partner can’t be sober.”

I recently got the terms of my probation/diversion, of which I sign tomorrow, and I will be subject to provide a urine/blood/breath sample at any point during my probationary period. It’s 6 months of behaving and then it’s off my record permanently, so I don’t want to risk anything that could land me in more trouble.

Even if it’s random 2x a month, I could still test positive if I were to be tested the week after her wedding. I broke this news to her, and explained that I wouldn't be able to drink, and she was visibly hurt. I don’t know why drinking is such a huge deal. She said that it’s just one night, and I can tell my future PO that I’ll be out of town and cannot be tested. I told her I don’t think it works that way.

The other bridesmaids have told me I hurt her feelings and are saying I can sacrifice one night since it’ll be my sister's only (hopefully) wedding. My dad is on my side, my mom on the bridesmaids. I just would like to put in my 6 months of good behavior and have this whole situation be over with, but I don’t want to be a damper at my sister's wedding, so AITA?

People kept it one hundred about OP's sister.

Ok_Register3005 wrote:

NTA. Do not compromise here. Your sister is extremely wrong. You'll have a fine time being sober. Do not ruin your future.

IntoStarDust wrote:

NTA your sister is completely being immature. You are doing right by you, don’t let anyone deter you. Is she going to take your punishment for you if you do get done up? I think not. She is asking you to risk yourself for the sake of what? Her special day? Lots of people have fun without drinking, drinking culture in order to have us ridiculous.

You are being far more mature and responsible than your sister and she heaps older than you. That is very sad. She is supposed to want to protect you not put you at risk and tell you to make bad choices.

cantSpellMagento wrote:

Jumping on the top comment to say bring your own bottled beverages to the wedding. I wouldn’t put it past your sister o the wedding party to spike your glass when you’re not looking. NTA.

All-or-none wrote:

Yeah, I'm in recovery. Legit no one I know has a problem with me not drinking at any event. Cuz they know how freaking dangerous that's can be. Total NTA. And there's a lot of people that just don't drink by choice (with no prior problems). Everybody should have that choice.

Honeybee3674 wrote:

WTF is wrong with your mother and sister? Do you live with a family of alcoholics? Is your sister so insecure and needy that she can't enjoy her own wedding unless her underage sister is drunk with her? I think the drinking age of 21 in the US is stupid, but that doesn't change the law or the consequences or your situation. Why is your family willing to risk your entire future for one night? NTA.

OP is definitely NTA here, she is holding fast to her future.