Teen blasts dad and stepmom on FB after they exclude her from 'childfree' wedding.
When a stepparent joins the family, it's crucial they try and connect with their partner's kid(s). Ignoring, mistreating, or excluding the kid, no matter how old they are, can spell trouble down the road for the relationship.
But some people have their blinders on, and choose to make choices purely based on their mood at the moment - not the longer-term relationship consequences.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a teen asked if she was wrong for putting her dad and stepmom on blast on social media after they excluded her from the wedding.
She wrote:
AITA for letting people know through social media the reason I wasn’t at my dad’s wedding?
I (F18) was always pretty close to my dad. Closer to my mom but I often visited my dad (about 3-4 times a week). A few years ago he started dating “Anna”. Anna and I always got along. When my dad proposed, I was happy Anna seemed like she would be a great stepmom.
Well a few weeks before the wedding after I had bought everything (dress, shoes, etc) my dad and Anna said they needed to “talk to me” Anna and my dad decided to have a child-free wedding which I get especially for young kids. Well turns out child-free means no one under 18.
On the day of the wedding, I was still going to be 17 so, therefore, I’m not allowed to be at the wedding because Anna wants to stay true to the child-free rule even for the daughter of the groom and her about-to-be stepdaughter. The funny thing is my 18th birthday was just 2 days after the wedding. But still, I wasn’t allowed to go. The wedding was just last weekend (the 12th) and my birthday was yesterday (the 14th).
I haven’t talked to Anna or my dad since they told me I couldn’t attend the wedding since I wasn’t an adult. My mom ended up taking me on a birthday vacation. Yesterday, I posted birthday pictures on Facebook and said 'finally I'm an adult, I’m so glad my dad and Anna didn’t allow me at their wedding since I was under 18 I feel more mature since yesterday.'
The family was freaking out asking if that was true and bashing my dad and Anna. I later got a bunch of texts from my dad and Anna calling me immature and a selfish brat and that’s why I was too immature to be at a wedding. I was talking to some friends and they said I was kinda an AH for doing that and I should have just let it go.
People were equal parts fascinated and opinionated on the situation.
Decalvare_Scriptor wrote:
NTA. What kind of man doesn't have his own child at his wedding? Anyway, they made the choice, if they believe it was the right choice they should have no issue about it being publicly known.
Plus, people might well assume you weren't there because you disapproved of his new wife or chose a vacation instead. Ensuring people know WHY you weren't there saves your own reputation.
Wandering_aimlessly9 wrote:
The no children was made for you. I’m sorry but let that sink in. She made that rule to keep you out. You now know where you stand in their marriage…you don’t. I’m so sorry. NTA. I personally think it was EPIC. Harsh but epic. They deserved more than that. I would even update it with pictures of their texts.
naraic- wrote:
NTA banning the 17 year and 363-day-old daughter of the groom from a wedding because its child-free is a decision. A decision to exclude. To not invite. To make unwelcome. Not just in their wedding but in their lives.
Cursd818 wrote:
NTA. The rule was nonsense, designed to exclude you specifically. They know it, and so do you. Reply to your father that you now know where his priorities lie - with his new wife who didn't want any reminders of his old life at her wedding - and you will act accordingly.
This is just the first of many times they exclude and insult you. I'm very sorry that you've found out this way how little your dad values you, but now that you know, be proactive about ensuring he can never hurt you like this again.
NTA, keep being a wide-eyed innocent and be totally baffled at why they are asking you to lie about the real reason. Say “I kept getting asked why I wasn’t there so I figured it was better to just tell everyone at once.”
whatsmypassword73 wrote:
Never sway from this and keep acting like you can’t understand what the problem is, literally just keep repeating “but you told me not to come, why would you want me to lie about it?” Rinse and repeat, never change the wording regardless of how it’s phrased.
OP is NTA in any way here, she just gave her dad and stepmom what they deserved.