Demanding you're treated well can be awkward, but it's worth it every time. Anyone who values you as a friend is going to rise to the challenge of apologizing or owning up to their behavior. And if they're not? Well, then they're likely not invested in true friendship. Still, it can be disappointing to see someone's true colors fly out.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for sending her bride friend a bill. She wrote:
So I (32f) am a stay-at-home mom to 5 kids ages 13, 11, 6, 3, and 18 months. My friend let's call her Stacey (30f) recently got married. About 6 months before her wedding she asked me to make 75 cupcakes for her wedding. Baking is a hobby of mine and I have gotten very good at it. I agreed even though I'm not part of the wedding party and was doing this as a friend.
Stacey also had 5 other people helping make the food. Well, she calls me 3 weeks before the wedding and asks me to make 1 hungry pan of baked beans. At this point, I'm still under the impression that it is going to be a smallish wedding so I say sure. So fast forward to 1 week before the wedding and she calls me and tells me the guest list has grown slightly.
She then tells me she needs three huge pans of baked beans and wants me to use a specific recipe instead of my own and now needed 300 cupcakes instead of 75. Also, she doesn't want me to use box mix for the cupcakes (which I had planned to use since I'm buying all the ingredients for everything I'm making) she wants them to be homemade including the frosting. Told me I was a lifesaver and ended the call.
Before I had a chance to say anything. So for two days before the wedding, I was in my kitchen baking and cooking. While also taking care of my kids. So the wedding comes I take everything to the venue and helped set everything up. Fast forward to about a week after the wedding, a mutual friend called me to ask about my thank you basket from Stacey.
Come to find out she sent everyone a thank you basket for helping with the wedding (including the other people that helped with making the food) except me. I called her and talked with her, I figured I needed to let her know I had not gotten mine. I know that sounds entitled. I just thought since everyone else had gotten one maybe mine got lost.
That's when she told me that she never sent me one cause I'm a stay-at-home mom so it was no big deal for me to help with stuff for the wedding but everyone else had actual jobs so it was an inconvenience for them to help but not me. I told her that it was hard for me to help as well and to except a bill in the mail from me. Which I did.
I charged her for everything I had bought to make the food (I included copies of the receipts), a delivery fee, a set-up fee, and charged her for my time to making everything. It totaled to right at $900 now I have a few mutual friends telling me I'm an AH for charging her. So AITA?
She considered your time useless and didn’t actually account for the fact that you have to tend your children while making everything for her. It would be one thing to ask for help and show appreciation but it’s another to expect you to help regardless of any changes made and time spent. She doesn’t see you as a friend anymore, she sees you as an endless resource.
NTA. She is unappreciative of your time. Regardless of what work you do or don't, you spent time on a wedding you weren't even invited to and instead of just including you in a thank you basket, which lost likely would have cost less...she was dismissive and rude.
NTA at all. Charge more for emotional damage!! And then lose the fake friend and anyone else who thinks her behaviour was acceptable. The audacity 🤦🏾♀️🙄
NTA. You take care of 5 kids while baking 3 huge pans of beans and 300 cupcakes from scratch, and this is her thanks to you? Well, since it's apparently no big deal for you, it clearly shouldn't be a big deal for her to pay up.
NTA if she doesn’t pay take her to small claims court. Her behaviour is disgusting and if people want to complain at you ask them to give you 900 or bake you 300 cupcakes in two days for no thank you.
NTA you could charge her literal thousands for 300 cupcakes and massive pans (at least in the U.S.) you watch 4 kids. You're literally super women for doing all that and she couldn't be bothered to send a gift basket.
OP is NTA, with friends like these, who needs exploitive bosses?