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Woman laughs at sister crying over messy bachelorette party; asks, 'what did you expect?'

Woman laughs at sister crying over messy bachelorette party; asks, 'what did you expect?'


"AITA for asking my sister WTF she expected to happen at her s#!tshow of a bachelorette party?"

For some reason, my (F32) sister (23) and her fiance (25) decided that the very best way to celebrate before getting married was to have a joint bachelor/bachelorette party. At str!p clubs. They also hired a bus limo for the evening. The aftermath was, thus far, three breakups, four people dropping out of the wedding party, one impending divorce, and one arrest.

The cleaning bill for the limo was more than the original rental fee also. She was crying to our mom at dinner the other day and I snorted. I tried not to, I honestly did. I was trying my best to just keep my mouth shut. She asked me what was so funny. I said that I wasn't sure what she expected to happen getting a group of people sloshed, using illicit s*bstances, and getting horned up watching exotic dancers.

She said that I was an AH for judging her and her friends. I said I wasn't judging just that literally anyone could have seen that outcome. My mom told me to apologize because my sister is having to replace most of her wedding party on the fly. I did. But I still think I'm right. AITA?

People had a lot of comments and questions.

Outrageously_Penguin had a clarifying question:

INFO: is there anything other than the overall party plan that made this likely to be a mess? Did they buy a bunch of c0ke and order s#x workers, too?

Because there’s no actual reason a group of adults can’t go to a strip club, get tipsy, have a nice time and not descend into chaos.

And OP responded:

No s#x workers. Let's leave it at that.

Fun_Concentrate_7844 also had some questions:

NTA....and I probably would have said the same But you got to spill the beans! Who did what to cause a divorce, break ups, and dropping from the wedding? Cheating with strippers? Cheating with each other? Come on, this could make best of Reddit updates!

And this time, OP gave a more satisfying answer:

I'll give the tamest example. My cousin is a talented singer. She is single and was supposed to sing a song during the ceremony. However, she hooked up with the maid of honor. Whom nobody knew had that in her. Including her boyfriend. This happened on the bus. He got arrested for trying to break into the bus while this was going on and several people were cheering them on after locking him out.

facinationstreet wrote:

NTA. The collateral damage from this party shows just how bad of an idea this was. Sure, many people / groups can go to strips clubs, drink, have fun and not end up arrested, divorcing, breaking up, and dropping out of the wedding; this group obviously was not able to do so, and I find it very difficult to believe this wasn't evident beforehand.

Ostensibly they've all partied together before and knew what chaos could ensue. That you snorted at their naivete doesn't make you the AH. Your mother telling you to apologize because your sister is having to replace most of her wedding party shows me just exactly where your sister gets it from.

cupcakevelociraptor wrote:

People may not agree with me but I feel like ESH except your sister (unless she was one of the cheaters). I’ve been to bachelorettes with strippers. I’ve been to bachelor parties at strip clubs. No one took anyone home. Cheating, doing d&^gs is a choice (unless someone’s an addict in which case that should’ve been taken into consideration during planning).

Even when a couple people got trashed, everyone still made sure the bride or groom had a good time. Your sister can ask for whatever kind of party she wants and if anyone goes over board, that’s on them. And then you totally didn’t try to keep your snort/scoff in.

You wanted to state your opinion and you were judgmental and blamed her for these other shi!!y people. If anything you should’ve been more supportive and talked about how these people don’t seem like good influences/people she should keep close to her.

KartlindWitch wrote:

YTA - Look I don't think that strip clubs are good for any pre-wedding celebration, joint or not, but they are common practice, as is alc0h0l and certain d@#gs, and plenty of people have great fun at this kind of party without any trouble. Your sister's friends behaved HORRIBLY and now she has to replace her wedding party.

Her friends aren't puppets, she didn't make those bad choices for them, they f#$ked up all on their own. You are mean and rubbing her face in the fact that the people she thought were her friends actually care more about $@x, d^&gs, and booze than they do about each other. That is a bummer lesson to learn about your friend group right before your wedding. Be nicer.

Maximum-Ear1745 wrote:

It’s not the party that’s the issue - it was her friends who were unable to behave in a manner appropriate for the continuity of their relationships. These kinds of parties can be fun and go well if people can have fun without getting messy. YTA.

While there's no unanimous verdict, it is clear that a lot of people think OP was TA for being unnecessarily smug. Either way, that party sounds like a hot mess.

Sources: Reddit
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