'AITA for backing out of making my SIL's wedding dress for free? Everyone is angry.'

"AITA for backing out of making my sister-in-law's wedding dress?"

I 24(F) am a seamstress/dress designer who works for private clients on commission. Two years ago my sister got married and as my gift to her, I designed and made her wedding dress free of charge and all her bridesmaid dresses at cost of raw materials. My brother's then girlfriend (now fiancée) was part of the wedding party and knew I was doing this.

Before I even started designing, she asked me if for her and my brother's wedding would I make her dress? I casually agreed. When actually making the gowns my sister and her other 5 bridesmaids were so nice and pleasant to work with, but my brother's girlfriend was a nightmare. She kept asking me to make changes after we finalized the designs and I had already started making the dresses.

She would cancel and just not show up to fittings, she complained constantly of how it looked tacky and unprofessional. And she even ripped the fabric on purpose when I told her I could not make any more changes, and I had to go on a wild goose chase to get more of the same fabric in the right color (the place I bought it from no longer carried it.)

My brother proposed two weeks ago and the first thing my new sister-in-law did was come over to me and ask when we could meet to start designing. Now at this point in my career I have dealt with my fair share of bridezillas and control freaks, and I know how to handle them. So, I let her know a time she could come to my studio for a consultation.

Last week was her appointment and she came in all excited, but when I brought out my pricings and options for her, she got really mad saying it wasn't fair to expect her to pay when we were family, and I had given other family theirs for free.

I told her nicely that I charge for my work as would any other vendor she got for her wedding and that we can look at the most affordable package I have if she was concerned about cost. At this, she totally lost it screaming at me that I'm a worthless b#$ch whose work isn't even good enough for her and that she was doing me a favor by letting me have this opportunity.

I tried to calm her down so we could talk but she just got worse, knocking over one of my display cases and shattering glass, beads, and expensive jewelry all over the floor. At that point I was done and yelled at her to get out of my studio before I called the cops.

Later that day my brother called me and yelled at me for being so disgusting and unwelcoming to his fiancée, I explained to him that I am more than happy to make her gown, and her bridesmaids' gowns, at a fair price. But he got even more upset and said that I had done our sisters for free so I should do this one for free too.

Now my parents and brother are mad at me, threatening to leave me out of the wedding if I don't make her a free dress but I still think I should be paid for my work. AITA?

The internet had a lot to say.

the_owl_syndicate wrote:

NTA. Print out a receipt for damages and give it to your brother and family. Then include the prices for your skills and material. Then send another bill asking for a deposit that will cover future damage/bulls#$t. Ask who is willing to pay all that, because no way in hell should it be you.

If you know any other seamstresses/designers, pass the word so they know what they are gettng into if they agree to work with her. Future SIL should learn a very expensive lesson. But I'm an AH like that. I'm thankfully at the stage of life where I don't give a damn about being nice or keeping the peace.

Legal_Active6259 wrote:

NTA. She is the SIL married into family. Your sister you grew up with & born into same family. If brother wasn’t so rude I would of suggested make him his suite then he can’t complain it’s not equal as both siblings received free wedding attire then with wedding party paid for.

For it to be fair on SIL would of been to make BIL half instead of your sisters. How people think these days are crazy. Stick to your guns on this.

Electrical-Start-20 wrote:

She claimed she was doing you a favor by allowing you to make her wedding dress. That shows the level of her smarminess. Do a N/C ditching of her.

UrbanDryad wrote:

ESH. You should have just politely declined and cited a neutral reason, like your current workload making it impossible to dedicate the required time/attention a wedding gown needs. If you get any pushback just firmly state your business has really taken off and you just don't have the free time you used to two years ago.

You knew she thought it was free and had her drive out for a consultation. You got your moment of revenge satisfaction and it cost you a glass display case and a ton of drama.

jigglituff wrote:

NTA, you chose to give your sister a wedding gift worth however many thousands of dollars the dress would have cost. Your family are essentially wedding gift-shaming you and it's only been two weeks. You know your value, time and worth, don't let them bully you into free labour.

SIL is a bit entitled.