'AITA for telling my sister the world doesn't revolve around her and her son?'
"AITA for telling my sister the world doesn't revolve around her and her son?"
I [F24] am getting married to my fiancé [M26] in October this year. We got engaged in January and couldn't be more excited. It's a very small wedding and we're only inviting close family and friends. The problem is with my sister Lisa [F30]. Lisa has a 2-year-old son with her husband. I don't have a super affectionate relationship with Lisa for multiple reasons that I can't fit into this post.
We sent out the wedding invites last month. Our wedding ceremony starts at 1:30pm and we asked our guests to please arrive at the venue by 1:00. The venue is in our hometown so is close to the majority of the people in our guest list including Lisa. Lisa told me that the time 'wouldn't work' because of her 2-year-old's nap schedule.
She said he takes a nap at 12 and that she's not forcing him to be awake so she can get him ready for the event or he will be a terror. I don't have kids but I thought this was a silly reason? I asked Lisa if she could find a babysitter and she said she can't because everyone she trusts will be at the wedding. I suggested that they at least attend the reception but she said she won't if she can't be at the wedding.
She told me she won't attend the wedding unless we change the time. I told her we can't do that. Lisa said she's not going then. I was quite hurt by this. I wasn't sure how to react in the moment so I just abruptly ended the conversation with an excuse. A few days later Lisa asked me if I thought about her suggestion. I reminded her there's no way we can change the time.
She told me she hopes I'm happy that they aren't attending and said that everyone is going to ask why she's not there and it's all because I can't accommodate my nephew. I snapped at her and told her the world doesn't revolve around her and her son. She called me a bridezilla and has blocked me. My mom is pestering me to make amends with Lisa but I just don't think I'm in the wrong.
The internet had a lot to say about OP's sister.
BonjourCheriex wrote:
NTA. I get why you don’t have a good relationship wth Lisa, the entitlement is through the roof.
Thowawayforrbn wrote:
NTA. Wow, I see why you don't have a good relationship. She's doing the best she can to make your day about her. Ask mom how exactly she wants you to make amends? She told you she won't come to your wedding because her son needs a nap. That's petty level s$!t.
Top_Structure_8080 wrote:
NTA. I have a 2.5 year old and while it’s nice for her to have consistent naps, there are times when she’s gone down earlier/later to accommodate appointments or visits. There are still 3? months until the wedding, I think that’s plenty of time to find a babysitter and build a good rapport with them.
What about family on her hubby’s side? I’m assuming they wouldn’t be at the wedding. Her asking to change the time is ridiculous. She should know the planning, costs, and timing associated with weddings and that vendors aren’t necessarily going to be able to budge on time (nor should they have to).
KyotoDreamsTea wrote:
NTA. Does she have a history of thinking she’s the Queen of England or something?
WhyAmIStillHere86 wrote:
NTA. When people ask why she isn’t there, tell them the truth: “Lisa wanted us to change the time to accommodate her son’s nap, and refused to attend when we couldn’t.”