People can say what they want about vegans, but if they leave you alone about what you eat, they're okay in my book. Nobody likes to be told they're living a life of sin. That's why the Catholic Church is having retention issues (among other things). What if you went to a vegan wedding and brought your non-vegan food?
AITA for bringing eggs to a vegan wedding?
So my (21F) brother (26M) got married last weekend. He and my new SIL (26F) had known each other for a few years, and naturally, I was invited to the wedding. She had been vegan since she was 12 and converted my brother in recent years, so they decided to make the wedding vegan.
All the catering was vegan, including the alcohol. They used real petals from their garden instead of plastic confetti to make the wedding as eco-friendly as possible. I have no problem with any of this and think it's great.
Anyway, the problem is this. The issue I often have with eating anywhere is that I have multiple allergies: peanuts, Soy, sesame, and a mild shellfish allergy. The first 3 I named are very serious and have landed me in hospital in the past became of cross-contamination, so I'm weary.
I asked my brother if there would be anything safe for me to eat at the event. Still, because they're using a local neighborhood ladies' business as the catering service instead of something professional, I did not feel comfortable enough that there was zero chance of me reacting, mainly because the allergens were ingredients in many dishes. It felt too risky, so I said I'd bring my food, and he agreed that was the best option. I've done this with plenty of such events in the past, and it's never been a problem.
The wedding day arrives, and it comes time to eat. Everyone is digging into the food, and I pull out my Tupperware quite happily and dig in when I see the bride staring at me with horror on her face. I had bought a homemade sort of salad box with two eggs on top, and she just stared at me in disgust the entire time we ate without saying anything.
After we finished the meal, she pulled me to the side. She said I 'ruined her meal, her appetite, and her day' and that I'm clearly 'a selfish person because I can't even go one meal without animal secretions at a vegan wedding.' She said it was seriously disrespectful because it was a vegan wedding, which was the main focus.
In my eyes, I bought my food because they weren't able to provide me with something safe to eat, and it's not like I brought a steak. I had two eggs in a big salad, and the bride must have been staring at my food even to realize they were there. However, I'm beginning to wonder if I'm the a**hole because my brother also said it was in poor taste, and I should have brought something else. What are your thoughts, AITA?
NTA (Not the A**hole). You have unavoidable dietary restrictions in that you are severely allergic to some foods, some of which are listed in the ingredients. At the same time, I understand having dietary restrictions and it being her day.
You talked it out and got permission to bring your own food. You did your due diligence. From there, it is your brother's responsibility to tell his new wife what is happening.
NTA, not remotely.
Sorry, the focus of her wedding was veganism? Not that she was committing to the person she loves? She's an a** for that comment alone.
But you're NTA. If they could not cater to you, they have no right to take offense to what you made yourself.
Unpopular but YTA (You're the A**hole). Easy to bring something vegan to eat. Cold hard-boiled eggs stink of cold hard-boiled eggs. It should have been evident that a loudly vegan wedding wouldn't want animal products and would have been the courteous and sensitive thing to do.