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16 wedding photographers share the signs that indicate a couple won't last.

16 wedding photographers share the signs that indicate a couple won't last.


Wedding photographers get a behind-the-scenes look at what's really happening between the 'happy' couple on their 'very special day,' and while usually it's romantic wedded bliss...what happens when it's not?

So, when a Reddit user asked wedding photographers everywhere, 'Can you tell if a couple is going to last or not? If so, how?' people were ready to spill the day-of red flags that a nasty divorce is on the horizon.


I did weddings, along with a multitude of other photographic jobs, for several years after I graduated from college in the 70's. Of all the weddings I remember photographing none of them are still together today.

One of them lasted 30 years, declared their marriage a success, divorced, and both went on to try it again with other people. - Entropy_R_Us


Ah! Wedding photographer here. My very first wedding was a couple who was getting married by the art museum in Philly. I had my friend whose been a wedding photographer for ten years with me to show me the ropes after doing a lot of second shooting with him.

So he poses a kissing shot of the couple, and when he asks them to kiss the bride goes 'oh, no, no thank you' in this weird little mousey voice. He has shot over a 100 weddings and said he never saw a couple so not into each other as much as they were.

The whole thing was weird. The groom didn't even bother to properly make himself look presentable on his wedding day, it was literally the first time both sides of the family met that day. Weird people.

The only other one that I had my doubts for was this bridezilla I had, mostly because I hoped the groom was smart enough to realize how much of a dick she was. - CoLmes


I think all of the couples I did photos for as a solo photographer are still together. I've done a ton of second-shooting over the past decade or so though, and I don't really have any way of knowing if any of those couples divorced.

I do sometimes wonder, though. Especially in the cases where the bride & groom don't really socialize with/pay attention to one another during their own wedding day. I get it when couples are trying to spend all their time with their guests, but sometimes it's extreme.

I also wonder about the brides & grooms who make snarky remarks during the day. Like, if I only know you for eight hours, but I know you're upset your new spouse didn't let you plan any of the wedding, then I'm not sure you have your priorities straight.

And I wonder about their relationships when they're just jerks in general. Did you make your groomsmen all get different suits the day before the wedding? Did you spend the morning making misogynist comments to your photographer? You're probably difficult to be in a relationship with.

For the most part, though? I'm seeing everyone for 6-12 hours on the happiest day of their life, so I have every reason (and hope!) to think they're still together. - eatcheeseordie


I've taken my share of wedding pictures. When the bride and groom spend the whole reception apart, or you can't tear the groom out of the bar, or away from whatever sports game is on, it generally does not work out well. - Clover1492


I shoot wedding photos - and while I can't say there's any way I've noticed to tell if a couple WON'T last - there are some couples that you CAN look at and just tell by the way they interact, or maybe in the way they look at each other - that you can tell that they're deeply, truly in love, and that they're going to be together for a long time. - codymcn


I shot a wedding. Two military families. They couldn't be more different. They already had a kid together, he lives in Japan, she lives in San Diego. They families had never met before. It was a very small, very awkward wedding. I can't see them being together very long. Just...very different people with little in common. - Do_It_I_Dare_ya


The way they share the cake. The ones that force it into the other's face, then the other gets revenge, etc. almost never work out. The ones where the sharing is tender and loving usually last. - Turduckn


There is this one funny thing you can look at: the position of the brides hands. - PM_for_bad_advice


In the Bride and Groom speeches, if they don't mention the other person, it's probably not a good sign. It reminds of when a director wins best picture and doesn't acknowledge the lead actor or vice versa.- Thimble


Usually during the romantic pictured they have no obvious signs of affection to each other. Perhaps this is just the couples I work with but when we tell them to kiss and hold hands and be affectionate, the couples that have no problem being close usually last.

There are so that are very timid and almost afraid the other partner is going to bite their head off. Those are the couples that won't last. Also a few things I have also noticed is some brides are almost more in love with the idea of a wedding rather then the person they are marrying.

I shot one wedding where the girl had 4 different dresses for the entire day, elaborate jewelry and everything was over the top, but this was no interaction between the bride and groom at this wedding.

The other photographer and I made bet it wouldn't last. Sure enough a few weeks later we get a call to not worry about processing the pictures they had paid for because they were calling it off. - Photographer_Rob


Wedding photographer checking in: don't know if they are still together, but one groom was on his phone while walking down the aisle. And he was in jeans. She wasn't the happiest (sadly I did not get any of her reaction shots). - directinLA


I planned events (mostly weddings) for several years. The number one I would say is contempt. If either of the couple has contempt for the other (not respecting their opinion, minimizing their thoughts, puts down their partner, etc) I guarantee the couple will divorce. Unless they are Catholic. Then its 50/50.- [deleted]


Wedding photographer here. My photography business partner and I talk about this a lot. We have only been doing this about five years, but I'd guess that if we were to follow up at the ten year and twenty year marks we would have a pretty good hit rate for predicting this. Here are some reasons why:

We spend 8, 10, 12 or more hours in a day looking at the bride and groom through a frame that isolates them alone and together, largely stripping away the broader context and focusing on their interactions.

We are looking specifically for moments of contact, of intimacy, of emotional connection. It pretty quickly becomes evident when those things are there, and when they are not.

We also spend a lot of time listening to the language they use in pre-meetings, engagement shoots, on the wedding day, etc. It becomes pretty clear in a short time what the focus is.

Many couples, particularly young couples, pretty clearly have in mind a wedding but have put little thought and planning into a marriage. The difference we see between a young couple and an older/second marriage couple is pretty significant.

Also, the differences we see in the families' and friends' behavior at a wedding - the bridesmaids talking, the groomsmen interacting, the parents' glances and body language, the frigging toasts - all are very telling about how much they think this is a good idea and how much community support there is around a couple.

There are many other little things (like once when there was more sexual tension between the groom and the best man than between the groom and the bride) that factor in, but those are the main things that jump out. - SuccessiveApprox


I am in touch with many of my clients, because they come back for family photo sessions and such. I've been shooting weddings for 4 years, at a rate of 12-15 a year. I've only known of one to be divorced, and in hindsight, their divorce doesn't surprise me.

They only dated for a few months before they got engaged and got married even before their 1 year anniversary. But, I do look at some photos and wonder how they are and do some Facebook stalking. So far everyone is still married besides the one couple. - buttscratch


My dad did wedding photography as a side project, and of the 27 couples he did over the course of 4 years, at least 20 have divorced. He considered rebranding as 'Kiss of Death Photography Inc.' - rorysparshott


I have an album of photos of my now ex-husband glaring at me. It'd be difficult for the photographer to have not noticed.- somewoman

Sources: Reddit
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