'Adult flower person' shares story of 'rom com level' disaster of a wedding.
Tipsy speeches, controlling bridesmaids, slacking vendors, and passive aggression in seven different group chats--weddings aren't always the flower-adorned romantic bliss they appear to be in the photos...
So, when a shocked, stunned, and defeated guest/'flower person'/definitely not a member of the bridal party decided to vent to the gloriously petty and hardcore Reddit group, 'Wedding Shaming,' about an epic disaster of a day, the audience was ready.
The WORST wedding I have EVER been a part of, rom com levels of ridiculousness...
Just got back from this wedding and it was a doozy. I'm just going to make an itemized list because there was so much ridiculousness. We were in the wedding party as adult flower people (a cute idea). This is important for later...
Bride's mother, herefore known as Insane Witch, starts sending passive aggressive emails out before the ceremony. The wedding is in the middle of nowhere. We are expected to cater for ourselves. The groom 'must have a beer in his hand at all times.' We must provide the beer. Obviously.
Insane Witch is mad I do not want to join the girls in an $80 blow dry, and implies I will look unkempt. She keeps implying that my partner and I don't shower, for some reason?
The accommodation is $500 each, to share a room with another couple. This is about what I earn in a week as a student.
Day before the rehearsal dinner we are informed that our (hand sewed!) Outfits are inappropriate. Even though when I sent the photos a month ago, everything was perfect. No particular reasons are given, except maybe they are baggy? I spend a couple of hours altering them to be tighter.
No response when asking if they are now suitable. Day-of the rehearsal dinner we are ordered to change the outfits last minute, even though they were made to the exact specifications of the unusual request the bride wanted.
As we are driving down the three hours we need to drive to get to the middle of nowhere wedding, we are told our room has been infested with ants, and would we mind sleeping on BLOW UP COUCHES in the LIVING ROOM. We would mind, unfortunately. Luckily the venue managed to book outside accomodation. Crisis one averted.
Bride's grandma is appalled that the bride has a MAN in her bridal party, and urges him to 'not make a mockery of her grandaughters wedding.'
It rains the whole day of the wedding. I am not allowed to wear a jacket with my dress. It is FREEZING.
Oh but wait. Somehow, somehow it gets worse. Mind, we were explicitly told we're in the wedding party. We were told this. Now that being said:
We go to the main accomodation (where we were originally staying) to drop off some items to decorate the bridal suite with. The groom says 'bridal party only' and shuts the door in our face.
Oh, speaking of decorating the bridal suite, two girls (notably not in the wedding party) were informed they would be decorating the bridal suite by Insane Witch. They were INFORMED that they needed to bring french champagne. Obviously, none of this was provided and they had to buy it themselves.
They were also informed that the groom had left the bridal suite a mess, and that they had to clean up after it. You know, because they're also a maid service apparently??
We were not included in any of the photos. Weird as part of the bridal party, but okay. A seating plan had been made up, but for only 50 % of the guests. We (IN THE BRIDAL PARTY) were not on the seating plan. We had to fight for a table (and there weren't enough!).
The bride said, in a direct quote from her speech 'we'd like the thank the bridal party, we obviously care about you, otherwise you'd be on the other side of the room' gestures to our side of the room. Hilarious.
It was mentioned in every speech that the bride and groom drive each other insane. They do. The bride and groom, and most of the wedding party just...Disappeared from the wedding for most of it?
The wedding was totally dead at 9:30 pm. The groom did not go to bed with the bride and stayed up doing drugs with his friends until 5 am instead. What a waste of expensive champagne.
Genuinely one of the most unpleasant weddings I've ever been too. I hope that such a mediocre wedding was worth ruining at least three friendships.
Of course, the jury of wedding shamers was eager to weigh in on this hilariously epic mess. Here's what people had to say:
Eli_Drottningu said:
Honestly, I wouldn't have attended the party just from the price of the accomodation.
Wistastic said:
I'm baffled. Why was the mother dictating all of this and why was anyone listening? Where was the bride in all this (clear the groom couldn't care less)? I'm so sorry. This sounds absolutely awful. How did you end up in a wedding for someone who doesn't even like or respect you?
Yellow_Submarine8891 said:
You said it got worse and I was like, 'How?' Then I keep reading. You're stronger than I am. I would have left. I can only take so much. You're a saint.
Diddleymazzz said:
Definitely a candidate for worst wedding. I can see it would have been cute to see the two flower adults and very fun. You were better than them.