'Creepy stalker' brother angry he can't attend an elopement he wasn't invited to.
It's assumed that siblings are automatic invites to a wedding. But what if the wedding has no guests?
An upset man came to Reddit for advice, clearly hurt and confused by his brother's actions. Don't worry, the internet let him know exactly what was going on.
'AITA (Am I the A-hole) for calling my brother selfish over his last minute destination wedding?'
Am I the TA here? My brother is really angry at me over what I said.
Yesterday one of my brothers announced he had gotten engaged the night before. Apparently it was spur of them moment and not planned ahead of time. That's what he said.
I was happy for them and it was a happy event. But then it came out they were having a destination wedding. Yesterday morning, before they told anyone about their engagement they booked a river cruise on the Rhine river. An 8 day cruise from Switzerland to the Netherlands.
Sounds lovely!
The wedding will be somewhere along the way. The cruise starts tomorrow, they flew to Switzerland today and are staying in a hotel tonight and will fly back the day after the cruise ends after a one night stay in a hotel in the Netherlands after the cruise. So a 10 day trip in total.
Not only did they not give advanced notice of the fact that they are having a destination wedding, they did not give any information on the river cruise they are going on.
I had to do some Googling to find out what cruise company and prices and itinerary. It turns out the cruise that's leaving tomorrow has sold out already.
They didn't give any info on their flights or what hotels they are staying at in Switzerland or the Netherlands.
Doesn't sound like you have a problem Googling.
I get that the engagement was spur of the moment, but they only gave 12 hours of notice about the wedding. Besides the fact they didn't give anyone information about the cruise or hotels or anything.
People have kids, jobs and other commitments and can't just drop everything on less then a days notice to take an 8 day trip. Not everyone has the money or passports ready without notice.
Also the cruise company they are using doesn't allow passengers under 18 for any reason and there are no exceptions. I have 3 kids and my wife and I can't just leave them for 8 days.
I would guess that OP's brother is well aware of this.
Lots of our family, her family and their friends have kids and it's inconsiderate to exclude them or expect parents to leave their kids somehow for over a week. It's also inconsiderate to trap your guests on a cruise while you are busy on your honeymoon just because you got married on a cruise.
The result is that no one is going to their wedding. None from her side or any of their friends. They are going alone.
If only there was a word for this...
My brother got really angry at me when I told him his last minute destination wedding was selfish and inconsiderate. But it's the truth.
Destination weddings are usually somewhat selfish but by not giving anyone notice, it's really selfish.
I don't even know how they managed to throw together a whole wedding on such short notice. But no one is going because it is so last minute. Still my brother is really angry at me over what I said.
What do you think? Is OP right in telling his newly engaged brother off? Or is he missing a huge chunk of what's actually going on?
Reddit went all in on poor, obtuse OP with a ruling of YTA (you're the a-hole).
ambert34 writes:
Apparently it never occurred to you that they didn't want anyone to come or they would've invited you and gave you all those details? YTA for sure. You have every right to be bummed to not watch your brother get married but you have no right being mad and rude to them, it's their wedding.
awyastark says:
I read it three times to be sure I hadn’t missed the part where OP was invited. I didn’t miss it, it’s just not there lol.
M89-90 adds:
I don’t think OP realizes you have to be invited, and if you’re not invited you’re not expected to go.
Sutekiwazurai suspects:
It sounds like the engagement did not 'just happen'. OP's brother didn't tell OP about the engagement and planned elopement because he knew what kind of reaction he'd get. OP's brother knows how to keep things to himself so others don't ruin beautiful things.
BoudicaTheArtist comments:
I wouldn’t have thought it was possible to arrange a legal wedding ceremony at the drop of a hat, so it sounds like the brother and his fiancé have been planning this for awhile. Good for them. YTA, OP.
cakivalue writes:
It's absolutely hilarious that he interpreted it as being invited when it's perfectly clear no invitation was issued to anyone!! The creepy stalker skills take it to the next level. Kudos to the brother for sewing that up tight tight tight before telling anyone because they seem like massive interferers.
Ice_Battle says:
Yeah, I love how he went into full on PI mode. Dude, it isn’t an oversight. You aren’t invited.
EndlessSummer00 adds:
It’s not a coincidence that the cruise doesn’t allow anyone under 18.
There you have it!
This post has since been taken off Reddit, but that doesn't mean it can't live on in our hearts. Good luck reading the room in the future, OP!