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'AITA for suing my friend after she kicked me out of her bridal party for cutting my hair?' UPDATE

'AITA for suing my friend after she kicked me out of her bridal party for cutting my hair?' UPDATE


"AITA for taking my friend to court after she kicked me out of the bridal party for cutting my hair?"

Here's the original post:

For my friend’s 3 day wedding, I had to buy three different dresses (including alterations, and specific shoes which totalled over $700. She also wanted specific hair styles for each day. Unfortunately starting in March my hair started to deteriorate. Due to health reasons my hair was falling out in chunks and in May i made the difficult decision to cut my hair.

I told the bride about my decision two weeks before the wedding and she didn’t say anything bad. The following week, she came over to my house and when she was about to leave, she brought up that she was concerned about my haircut and I told her it would look good even though I wouldn’t be uniform with the other bridesmaids. The following day I received this message:

“After our recent conversations, I’d like to remind you of my boundaries: I’ve been very accommodating and graceful, but I can’t allow you to disrespect me. As you know, my wedding has been something I’ve dreamt of for many years. (Husband) and I have invested a lot of money into the video and photos of this day and as we reflect on this day in the further we want to see our vision reflected in the memories.

Since I asked each of you to be bridesmaid in 2019, I’ve been very clearly and very communicative in my request. The timing of your decision to cut your hair and not income in advance is very upsetting to me. I would have felt respected if you had communicated with me more than a week prior to the wedding, so we could have worked together to find a collaborative solution.

Your inconsistencies have concerned me and while I sympathise with your health concerns, I’m not willing to compromise my vision to accommodate you (or anyone else) when you have informed me in advance and we could have found a better solution. Since this something you can no longer fully commit to, I need you to please step down from participating in my wedding.”

This was three days before the wedding. I immediately sent her and her husband an invoice asking them to reimburse for the dresses and shoes. Keeping in mind that one of the dresses is still in her possession even though I paid for it. Neither of them replied and so I decided to take it the court.

I was told I was inconsistent and selfish after I spent the past two weeks helping her plan the wedding shower, I worked with another bridesmaid to surprise her with a bridal shower after our bachelorette trip had to be cancelled. I spent HOURS helping her out with wedding details.

When she asked me to help her tone up before the wedding I sent her a personalised work out program and even went with her to the gym to show her the ropes. When I agreed to be her bridesmaid I was more than willing to oblige with what she asked even if at times it was a lot of time and money. So AITA for taking her to court because she kicked me out for cutting my hair?

This is what commenters had to say about the situation:

AJWordsmith said:

NTA. Should have had the lawsuit served to her at the altar. 🔥

Sinjury said:

NTA - Not one bit! " I can’t allow you to disrespect me." ...and then she turns around and utterly disrespects you and your friendship. What a horrible, heartless friend she is. You've done your absolute best to be involved with her wedding/bridal shower, and helping her so much in addition to paying hundreds for your dresses etc. and she kicks you out because of your hair?

For which you have an extremely valid reason for cutting! And even if you didn't, it'd still be absolutely ridiculous for her to do and say all this. I'm baffled. I can only imagine how you're feeling. All the best to you!

Zoeyfiona said:

NTA. please provide an update when you can about the court case. I am feeling weirdly invested in you getting your money back. Hope you feel better.

BowzersMom said:

NTA but your friendship is over. I don’t understand brides who think they have any say over other peoples BODIES.

alyom said:

NTA. She is not even concerned the least bit about your health?? Hope you win, but if you lose, see it as paying for the removal of toxic waste.

Unanimous verdict: NTA.

Months after her original post, she shared this update on the situation:

This is has been a LONG time coming. I’ve had a lot of people reach out to me asking what the results of the case have been. Unfortunately I could no longer post comments on my previous post as well. I figured I would wait until everything was done to update everyone all at once.

In December 2021, I got the notification that a court date had been set for February 7, 2022. It would be virtual and since it’s small claims, we would represent ourselves. I began gathering my evidence and created a virtual file which I shared with the court and her 7 days before the hearing.

On the day, she did show up. We were given the chance to settle but that was unsuccessful. When we returned to the hearing, I found out she also had made a virtual file with her evidence but never shared it with me.

The court then made her share it and what a surprise I had! She had copied my entire format for presenting evidence (keep in mind that this is a format I created) She didn’t even had the decency (or brain cells) to make something up herself.

The hearing proceeded and we were both given a chance to share our side. I won’t go into the details of it but it took probably 10-15 mins. In my state they do not give you the verdict right away and it can take up to 90 days!

And so… I waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. Then yesterday May 5 (almost 90 days after!) I got a verdict. I WON! She has been ordered to pay me the total of $808.94 for the dresses and shoes. I have to return two dresses and shoes I have to her. The verdict goes into effect May 30. I don’t see her appealing it (or fingers crossed she doesn’t).

All in all, I am VERY happy with the outcome and so ready to close this chapter. Thank you to everyone who has been so invested in this with me! I hope this was the season finale you were looking forward to. P.S. my hair and health are doing MUCH better. My three bald spots are growing again and I couldn’t be happier.

Hair hair!

Sources: Reddit
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