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'AITA for wearing a little black dress to a wedding in a church?' UPDATED

'AITA for wearing a little black dress to a wedding in a church?' UPDATED


"AITA for wearing a small black dress to a my husband's cousin's wedding?"

Here's the original post:

I'm at the wedding right now, in the washroom feeling totally embarrassed and ashamed. I wore this dress to my husband's cousin's wedding. We're not rich, I don't own much dresses. This was the only one that fits me well and I didn't think it was at all inappropriate for a church wedding.

There's going to be a reception tonight too, obviously some women will change but I don't know where I'd change, secondly i don't own any long dresses. In sat at the wedding and said hi to a few people. Everything was fine until an hour ago.

The bride's mother came up to me and asked who I was. This was the first time I met her btw. She then said, "You knew you were coming to a church wedding right?" I was a bit confused, but feared she was talking about me dress since no other woman was wearing such a short dress.

I said yes, but I don't have a huge wardrobe right now due to us paying off student loans. I then asked her if my dress was ok. She said, "oh it's fine hunny, but not for this church. Would you mind sitting at the back so people won't see you? Also, if you want you can talk to my niece about finding something more appropriate for later, assuming you're staying. It's a bit distasteful how you're dressed for a wedding".

At this point I'm on the verge of tears. I tell her ok and walk off. I haven't told my husband, but I want to leave. I'm hiding in the bathroom for the last 30 mins now. He hasn't seen some of his cousin's in a while, I'd be an asshole to make him leave. Also, I don't think my dress is bad at all.

These morons have the gall to say it's inappropriate. I'm also pretty sure I know why, and it's because I look sexy in this dress. I'm 32DD-25-37, anything form fitting looks 'too sexy' to some women apparently.

Yes it's a church and a religious wedding, yes there's a late lunch at this church (outside) then we go to the groom's home for a reception that's from 5pm till. I have almost 2 more hours here, I just want to leave. I really don't think anything is wrong with me attire, I'm not even wearing heals, just a show with a 1.5" because I expected to be out long.

What do you think? Was she in the wrong here? This is what top commenters had to say:

crittab said:

ESH. That dress is for clubbing, not for a wedding. You don't need to wear a long dress, but wearing a skin tight mini dress is in poor taste. However, there was no reason for that woman to be rude to you. This is one of those things people just roll their eyes at and ignore, not make a big stink about.

Yussopp said:

YTA you came to a religious event in revealing clothing, humblebragged your tits and waist stats lol, and then called them morons.

YellowSkalypso said:

Well, after seeing the dress, sorry YTA. This look more like a dress to go out clubbing, than to go to a church wedding. It is short. Has cleavage. Is sheer. Has glitter. It's like the full package. But, the mom is also TA imo.

I mean I dont know how she said it. Maybe she meant well, and even offered to help you for later with another dress maybe ? But I know how it feels to have someone comment on your outfit and feel embarassed af, it sucks.

throwawayd4326 said:

"These morons have the gall to say it's inappropriate. I'm also pretty sure I know why, and it's because I look sexy in this dress. I'm 32DD-25-37, anything form fitting looks 'too sexy' to some women apparently"

And this is why you're the a-hole. It would be one thing if you simply weren't familiar with appropriate church attire and admitted as much, but the fact that you think you know what's appropriate and have concluded that this dress is appropriate for church, blaming any questioning of your choice on jealousy over how sexy you look, makes you the asshole.

You're intentionally pulling focus in a situation where you should not be the focus. This is not your day. Take mom up on the offer to find something more appropriate and you'll be doing the bride (and your husband's relationship with the rest of his family) a favor.

ants-in-my-plants said:

YTA. A short, tight, revealing dress is NOT appropriate to wear to church, regardless of the fact that you’re there for a wedding. Besides, you shouldn’t be trying to get attention at someone else’s wedding. You said it yourself that you look “sexy” and even give us your measurements because you’re so proud of them.

Come on now. How did you not think this would happen? I don’t blame the other woman for asking you to sit at the back. Someone had to let you know you’re out of line dressing “sexy.” You’re at a CHURCH wedding to celebrate the couple getting married, not a nightclub trying to pick up a one night stand.

Verdict: YTA. Do you agree?

She later shared this update:

So no awkward situation developed after I posted and replied to my original post. A few women complimented me and told me how amazing my dressed looked. My husband's cousin said it's fine what I wore because not everyone had the ability to find somewhere to change for the reception (which we're at now).

Lots of women are wearing similar dresses at the reception, especially on my husband's side of the family (groom). I told one person (his cousin) about what the MOTB told me and she was appalled and said, my dress with the jacket was 100% fine for church.

I just met the bride's sister who apologized about what her mom said and told me, they're just happy I came and hoped I have a good time. Very pleasant person. I definitely no longer feel like a whore. Everyone else is being exceptionally nice and no woman is giving me the stink eye either.

I don't think anyone really cared what i wore in church, pretty sure most didn't notice because what I wore isn't that short and I had a blazer on. Really surprised at how many YTAs I got, I genuinely thought this dress was fine. It wasn't what u planned to wear, but my other more conservative dress couldn't fit and this was my only option.

Sources: Reddit
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