Woman storms out of wedding after bride and groom try to set her up with their friend. 'AITA?'
"AITA for being surly, rude and mean at a wedding and leaving early?"
Here's the original post:
I was asked to be a member of the wedding party. Despite this, I was THE ONLY person, not only in the wedding party, but also at the ceremony, who wasn't allowed to have a +1. I was told it was because my relationship wasn't "serious" enough despite us being together for a year. That only engaged or married couples were invited.
And that they didn't want "some random guy" in their wedding pictures who "I might not even be with" later in the future. They don't want to "have to look at some random guy in their pictures" even though he wouldn't have been in any of the posed pictures at all. Maybe just in the background of crowd shots.
There have been NO conflicts between them and my boyfriend and he's a nice and mild-mannered guy who gets along with everyone so I don't think it was about him personally. I get to the ceremony and find out that literally everyone else has a +1, not just married couples, but there are couples there who have been dating for less time than me.
This is when I started feeling surly. I smiled and played my part during the ceremony but inside I was very surly and angry. We then got to the reception which had way more people than the ceremony. This is where all the "more distant friends" were invited. AND EVERYONE THERE had a +1. I was literally placed at a table as the one single person and everyone else at the table was a couple.
Some at the table were other members of the wedding party, but others were random distant acquaintances. People started asking me where my boyfriend was and I said I was told he wasn't invited. They asked why and I said I had no idea why. This is when I started letting my surliness show and started acting rude and mean, because I was humiliated.
AND THEN, I was "brought into conversation" with the couple's male friend, Dean. I was previously told that Dean has a crush on me and I made it clear I wouldn't be interested even if I were single. Even after that he kept trying to message me and I ignored him. But now the people who "brought me into conversation" with Dean were like standing around staring at us and giggling behind their hands.
Like they thought they were Cupid matchmakers. Dean was absolutely a participant in this. I was meaner to Dean than I've ever been to anyone in my entire life. I was as fully rude as I've ever wanted to be when being the target of someone's romantic interest unwantedly. It's true I don't really know if I was being set up but I was already furious before that happened. Everyone was silent and awkward.
I went back and finished my meal, and as soon as I was done, picked up my purse and left and went straight to my boyfriend's house, skipping most of the reception, cake cutting, speeches, and everything. I'm now being told by the couple that they're "hurt and confused" why I left so early. I haven't replied.
Do you think she was the AH for being "surly" and leaving the wedding early? Here's what commenters had to say:
TriZARAtops said:
Wow. There’s layers to this like a freaking parfait made entirely of dog sh!t in different stages of decomposition and it just kept getting worse. From the title I thought you were TA. Then it was like okay, maybe it’s E S H. Then it got to NTA and kept on trucking into how the newlyweds AND Dean are huuuuuuuge @$$hole and just kept on going.
Honestly, you are absolutely not the @$$hole and in fact should be commended on not engaging in some fully warranted @$$hole behavior of your own. Because I absolutely do not consider rudely rejecting Dean’s advances to be @$$hole behavior when he is complicit in this setup attempt from hell.
I think at the very least you would’ve been completely justified in not only leaving early, but taking your wedding gift with you because these people are not your friends.
CakeisaDie said:
NTA If you were seriously singled out like that as the only major exception by someone either the wedding couple or anyone in the wedding party . I probably would have been more angry.
Weskit said:
NTA. You were treated blatantly unfairly, and it appears that there was an ulterior motive. You'd be justified if you went NC with everybody involved in this fiasco.
bellePunk said:
NTA That was rude and totally unacceptable of them to try to force you into being a date for Dean.
Unit-Healthy said:
NTA. If they are hurt and confused, simply tell them: "As you know, I have been dating bf for a year. I noticed Sally was there with her bf of 4 months, and Sam was there with his gf of 7 months. Why was I treated differently and not allowed a plus one based on time spent dating?"
pinkyhc said:
NTA, you were 'mean' to Dean. GOOD. You were 'surly' because you were being treated unfairly. GOOD. You left early because you weren't being respected. GOOD. They're 'hurt and confused' because they tried to bully you into bullshit and you didn't take it lying down. GOOD.
You're not a push-over, you love your partner, and you do NOT deserve to have your boundaries stomped all over by your 'friends'. These people ruined their relationship with you and gave themselves wedding drama all by themselves. They're not good friends if they don't listen to and respect you.