I (27F) am getting married in a few months to my fiance (28M). We have been planning our dream wedding for over a year, and everything is finally falling into place. However, there is one issue that has been causing quite a bit of controversy in our family.
My nephew (18M), 'James', has a service dog, 'Max', for his anxiety and panic attacks. Max is a well-trained and well-behaved dog, and he has been a great help to James over the years. However, I am severely allergic to dogs, to the point where I could have a severe reaction if I am around them for an extended period of time. This is something my family is well aware of.
When we sent out the invitations for our wedding, we made it clear that there would be a strict no pets policy, due to my allergies. James and his parents approached us and asked if Max could be an exception, as he is a service dog and not just a pet. They assured us that Max would be on his best behavior, and that he would not cause any problems.
As much as I understand the importance of Max to James, I had to say no. My wedding day is supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life, and I do not want to risk having a severe allergic reaction during the ceremony or reception. I explained this to James and his parents, and I offered to help find alternative accommodations for Max during the wedding.
However, my decision has caused a lot of controversy in the family. Some of my relatives believe that I am being selfish and inconsiderate, while others understand my point of view and support my decision. James is understandably upset, and I feel terrible about the situation.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Sorry, nephew, but in a showdown between your attendance and the bride being able to breath at her own wedding, the bride wins. NTA.
NTA reply to family “So you are asking me, the bride, to miss my wedding?” Any answer they give “you are saying I’m not important, that a guest is more important than me on my wedding day.” Over and over. What jerks. Kid can stay home. It sucks but crimany you are allergic!
As someone with deadly allergies people often downplay, NTA one bit. It's important for the bride to breathe at her wedding.
You have competing medical needs, that are incompatible. But, you have to go to your wedding, your nephew doesn't. So, NTA.
With service dogs, I normally say suck it up buttercup as service dogs are medical devices. However, you are severely allergic to dogs. It is your wedding and you deserve to breathe on your day.
NTA I don’t think people realize that antihistamines don’t really work well for severe allergies and I think it’s ridiculous for them to tell you to suck it up and take medication.