'Never imagined the biggest drama at my wedding would be the venue owners…'
"Never imagined the biggest drama at my wedding would be the venue owners…"
We recently had our wedding at a venue close to a lake where 4 people were supposed to “work” for 25 guests – 2 of them being the actual owners who are distant acquaintances of ours.
They acted like guests the whole time, not like vendors. From the start they interfered with the décor, criticized that we wanted to have the welcome drinks and snacks on the terrace (“flies will get into the snacks, it has to be inside”), and when we asked them to help with setup, we had to ask multiple times.
If they didn’t like something, they’d make comments, complain, or just pull faces (e.g. at our wedding welcome sign). Whenever we expressed our wishes, they either ignored us or got offended. They were very manipulative.
When we arranged the first look with our photographers (without telling them on purpose, so they wouldn’t intrude), they literally barged in saying “here comes the big moment.” My maid of honor asked them to leave, and they HID in the bushes to watch. Yes, the 50-year-old owner hiding in a bush…
After being asked again, they finally left, but later loudly said that since they’re the owners, they have the right to be there. (I actually asked one of them if they also planned to join our wedding night, since technically we were staying in a guest room owned by them…)
They sat among our guests, so often there was nobody at the bar to ask for a drink. Behind our backs, they made snide comments to our guests about us – for example, about how “irresponsible” we were to have food served outside.
And yet, when it came to leftovers, they wanted to just lock the cooked food in a room without refrigeration. My husband had to tell them twice to put it in the fridge, and they even tried to argue against that.
Around midnight they turned off the music and closed the bar without saying a word – even though beforehand they promised to stay as long as needed. Nobody told them they weren’t needed.
At that point, my husband and I confronted them, saying how horrible their behavior was. Instead of apologizing, they got offended again, saying “no one hurt them like this before.”
One of them even sais that her 4,5-year-old child didn't see her today because of us........ We slept at the venue, the next day they barely said a word to us except when it came to taking our money.
It’s honestly hard to process, because I can’t imagine what kind of person deliberately ruins a paying client’s wedding day. And considering they were distant acquaintances, we would have expected them to behave even more respectfully.
It was a beautiful day thanks to our friends (one of them even took a cat home from the woods lol) – but the owners did everything they could to cast a shadow over the whole evening.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
Did you have a contract? Were you paying full price for their services? You say they are "distant acquaintances" so that makes me wonder if they were doing this as a favor or at a seriously reduced rate.
The phrase "Familiarity breeds contempt" was created with these people in mind. Their lack of respect for you and your spouse, the lack of boundaries and lack of professionalism is simply mind boggling and egregious.
For me, this association would be over. To be hired for money to provide a service then instead of doing that very well and ensuring your day was a smooth and easy success, they decided to center themselves in every single aspect of your wedding day. It's so icky and I'm so sorry you went through this. Many happy congratulations on your marriage, wishing you both a lifetime of happiness ❤️
I'm a Judge Judy fan, and this is a frequent type of case on there. People sue for poor service, but the legal judgment is usually as long as the vendor or venue has provided the items that are in the contact, the plaintiffs can't get their money back. All they can do is spread the word about the poor service given.
"And yet, when it came to leftovers, they wanted to just lock the cooked food in a room without refrigeration. My husband had to tell them twice to put it in the fridge, and they even tried to argue against that."
Judging by the way they were behaving like they were guests rather than vendors I would suggest that they were planning on keeping the leftover food safe by waiting until you were out of the way and then moving it to their own personal refrigerator.
Your husband insisting on it being properly refrigerated at the venue probably annoyed them because it meant he was taking notice of what was there.
These are all horrible behaviors and inappropriate too!! Have you already paid them? Be sure to write a review about that place!!!
That’s why you need to hire professionals instead of acquaintances/friends.
csulkoslangos (OP)
They said that they're professionals, they have this venue for 4 years now. It wasn't a friendly favor, we paid full price for them to work.
Sounds similar to a wedding my friend went to. The guest ended up bussing tables and things because the owners (husband and wife) didn’t have enough staff for the event.
They had a restaurant on site and many people did stay there, they started pressuring them to eat breakfast there the next morning and asking them if they would see them etc. Individual guests! At the wedding!
Yeah, this was pretty horrible, but I agree with everyone that the lines between vendor and acquaintances were blurred, which always leads to a lack of professionalism.
One I think I disagree with you on is complaining that they closed up at midnight even though they agreed to stay as long as needed. First, that's an incredibly vague statement. Also, who keeps a reception running past midnight?
They should have talked to you about shutting down first, but the way you talk about it sounds like if you wanted to keep the party running until 5 AM, they were obligated to because they said they'd stay there as long as you need.