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Bride asks if she's wrong for refusing to pay for dress bridesmaid ruined.

Bride asks if she's wrong for refusing to pay for dress bridesmaid ruined.


Being in a friend of loved one's bridal party is often a fun and exciting champagne-fueled honor, but buying and altering a dress you'll only wear for three hours of your entire life isn't always the highlight...

So, when a conflicted bride decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about a bridesmaid dress dilemma, people were quick to help deem a verdict.

"AITA (Am I the A#*&ole) for refusing to pay for a dress that my bridesmaid ripped in the store?"

I (25/F) am getting married. My future husband John has no siblings, one aunt, and only one first cousin (Kacy, 23/F), so John asked me to include her in the wedding. I told all three bridesmaids that I'd pay for their dresses.

At the appointment, the girls picked a few dresses from the display models up front. The sales associate explained that she would go to the back and pull the ready-to-try dresses, and that going up 1-2 sizes is normal for formalwear. The plan was for them to head into the changing area and when they all had a dress on they'd come out as a group to show me.

John's mother and aunt (Kacy's mother), pulled me to look at the bridal accessories, so this part is second-hand from my bridesmaids: the associate brought dresses into the dressing area and Kacy was irritated that she fell into the plus line, which started at size 18, both on principle and because two of the dresses apparently weren't available in plus size to try on.

She argued and refused to try on anything above a 14, but the associate warned her not to go below a 16. Kacy has always squeezed herself into tight-fitting clothes and is very focused on (in her words) 'unfair' and 'misleading' sizing between brands, refusing to see that in reality she's about a size 18 or 20 (so 22 to 24 in formal wear).

While I was on the other side of the store, I saw Kacy walk quickly out and grab a dress off of a mannequin, but I didn't think too much of it.

However, the sales associate pulled me aside and told me that a $250 charge for a dress that ripped would be added to my bill, since I was 'taking care of everything.' When I went to talk to Kacy, I found her struggling to zip a too-small dress, and the size 14 dress (the one she grabbed) was hanging up and had burst open at the side.

I told Kacy politely but firmly that I wasn't going to pay for the damaged dress and that she would need to cover the cost herself, to which she insisted that it was my job to do it. We went back and forth unproductively as John's mother and aunt came back over, and one of the other bridesmaids told me that the sales associate had strongly cautioned against trying smaller dresses.

Kacy attempted to start another argument about sizing and I cut her off. I told her that there's no way in hell she's a size 14, and I don't care if she believes it but in the real world, but for the purposes of this trip and my wedding, I needed her to accept that.

Kacy angrily went back into her dressing room and refused to come out and her mother told me to 'just' pay the $250 since Kacy was still an apprentice at the hair salon and didn't make that much money.

My bridesmaids backed me up but Kacy's aunt (and to a certain extent John's mother) essentially said that Kacy wouldn't be there around these dresses in the first place if it wasn't for me. Kacy's mom ultimately paid for the damaged dress, but AITA?

While it's true that searching for plus-sized gowns as a bride or wedding guest can be a special sort of nightmare in a famously noninclusive industry, forcing yourself into a dress that won't fit isn't the most effective way to fight toxic beauty standards...

Shaming Kacy definitely isn't the move, but Kacy should be responsible since she did ruin the dress. She was warned about which sizes she should try on and chose to take a risk, and expecting the bride the cover her mistake isn't fair.

Of course, people were eager to weigh in on this wedding drama. Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say:

Solaris_Luna said:

NTA (Not the A$**ole). You offered to pay for their dresses, not what they damaged. Her responsibility is not your responsibility.

notlucyintheskye said:

NTA - and what the hell is this logic of 'If you hadn't had Kacy around these dresses, she never would've tried to squeeze into one that was 4-5 sizes too small?'

DiamondHeist1970 said:

No, NTA. But Kacy is. We all know, these dresses are expensive. Put the word wedding to it and the price doubles in a heart beat. And Kacy was warned. Time to have a serious calm discussion with you groom. She shouldn't be your bridesmaid anymore, this is the first clue of many, many meltdowns, tantrums and outbursts from her. As a bride, you need support, not having to deal with this sh*t.

alpacaboba said:

NTA. If she hit a parked car in the parking lot of the dress store, would you have to pay since she would only be in that lot and around those cars because of your wedding? No way

So, there you have it!

Everyone agreed unanimously here that this bride shouldn't have to pay for her bridesmaid's mistake and the rest of the family seems to be using some incredibly flawed logic to defend Kacy. Good luck, everyone!

Sources: Reddit
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