'Bride and groom trying to cancel my paid resort booking out of spite – can they actually do that?' UPDATED
"Bride and groom trying to cancel my paid resort booking out of spite – can they actually do that?"
Hi everyone,
I’m part of a destination wedding group booking through a travel agent. I paid for my full share of the resort reservation under my name, including flight and hotel, and was originally part of the bridal party.
Due to personal conflicts and repeated emotional disrespect from the bride and groom, I chose to respectfully withdraw as a bridesmaid, no drama, no hostility. I made it clear that I was still attending the trip as a guest, separate from the wedding events.
The bride removed me as a bridesmaid after already losing six others. I was the second-last one. She then cut off all communication and told me I’d need to speak to her fiancé instead. He proceeded to threaten that unless I speak to her and resolve things on her terms, I would not be allowed to attend at all.
I accepted the situation with grace and wished them well. But now they’ve retaliated by saying that since I’m “not attending the wedding,” they’ve canceled my entire reservation, even though I paid in full, the room is in my name, and I’m sharing it with another bridesmaid.
The booking is under their group contract with the resort, but I have the invoice and confirmation under my name. They even told me “do not attempt to show up,” which feels like intimidation more than anything else.
The resort says they can see the group, but not individual bookings, and that it’s all managed through the travel agent. I’ve emailed the agent (it’s the weekend) and I’m hoping she can confirm my spot. The trip is less than two weeks away, and I’m just trying to enjoy the vacation I paid for, separate from the wedding drama.
My family and friends are livid, and yes, I will take legal action if this isn’t resolved. But for now, I just want clarity. Has anyone gone through something like this before? Any advice on how to protect myself or what steps to take next? Thank you 🙏🏽 I’m not looking for more conflict, just peace 🌸
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
Sue them. You paid. Get your money back. If your travel agent confirms you are in that booking, go on the trip and have a blast Update me!
Take them to the cleaners for emotional stress, as well as the intimidation and the cost of therapy to recover your mental health.
None of those are a viable legal cause of action under this fact pattern.
No. All that will do is complicate things and probably reflect negatively on the op in court. Those items would be seen as frivolous. Plus, this is very likely something that would have to go to small claims. It depends on the state. Where I live small claims court goes all the way up to $10,000.
Not knowing where you are from, I would think you need to wait to hear from the travel agent. Save all your receipts and communication. If possible keep things to email so you have a paper trail.
If your preference is to keep the reservation, you may find it very uncomfortable to be on the same site. If the hotel has other, equal or better in quality, hotels in the same location, you may want to stay there.
… So where do they think the bridesmaid you are sharing the room with will stay?
iliyana117 (OP)
They're expecting me not to go on the trip at all. "We have therefore removed your name from the booking effective immediately. There will be no reservation under your name at the resort, so we advise you not to attempt to arrive under this booking. Your payment will not be refunded due to the non-refundable policy, and this matter is now closed."
I've spoken to my paralegal bestie. A third party, despite being the bride or groom, cannot cancel a reservation made under my name that's been paid in full without serious legal implications. The lack of confirmation is what's making me nervous.
You should just request your money back and take it up with your credit card company if you don’t get it immediately resolved on Monday when you call the travel agent. You can’t honestly believe you’re going to go on the trip and not interact with them.
If you want to do that then you’re keeping drama going, even if you didn’t start it. Please don’t say you just want peace because your stated intent to still go on the trip proves that isn’t true. Get your money back and go on your own trip.
Honestly, this is weird on everyone's part. Totally understand you want to just have a vacation but you're sharing a room with a bridal party member, based on how the booking is structured. I'm not sure why you would think you're going to be able to have a vacation that will avoid them entirely.
Your presence is going to just cause a massive amount of drama and this vacation is going to be stressful. Like, why do this to yourself? If you can't get the money back, then you can attempt to the money back from them through legal means.
iliyana117 (OP)
That’s a great point. I’m actually sharing the room with the last standing bridesmaid - she’s a kind woman from Europe who doesn’t speak much English and has limited involvement in the wedding events. It’s also a large resort, so there’s plenty of space to coexist without conflict.
I paid for my portion of this trip in full back in March, and the wedding is less than two weeks away. I helped plan the bachelorette, the photo shoots, and was a consistent emotional anchor for the bride through several other bridesmaids stepping down. I was genuinely close to both the bride and groom, and any conflicts that arose were never met with this level of coldness or dehumanization before.
Would I still have a good time? Absolutely. It’s an all-inclusive resort, and as a grown adult with no ill intentions, I’m more than capable of enjoying the trip peacefully and respectfully, separate from the wedding. If there had been goodwill and maturity on both sides, we could have handled this with grace - without all this unnecessary fallout.
Honestly, I would send a text to both bride and groom that if they cancelled your bookings, that you paid for, they will receive court papers BEFORE their wedding. You will sue for money lost (trip, dress, anything you paid for), court costs and legal fees plus wages lost due to court and PTO wasted.
The next day, the OP returned with an update.
Hey everyone, I just need to start with how incredibly grateful I am for all the support, information, everything that's been offered here I am wholeheartedly really thankful for you 🥹🙏🏽🪷
Now for the good part - I STILL HAVE THE ROOM! The bride and groom were bluffing!! 🤭 There was a lot of support on here of people confirming this - I see you ✨ The agent ghosted me (a few people here said it might happen). I tried calling periodically again, my number started going straight to voicemail, and she hasn't replied to any emails.
A majority of you told me to contact the hotel directly and I genuinely cannot thank you enough! A lot of people are wondering why I'm still going, and though I have confirmed it in the comments, I will reintegrate for clarity.
I have prepaid the flight tickets, the reservation itself, booked time off work, purchased many things for this vacation, even the transfers between the hotel and airport are already done, and it's cost me roughly $5,000 CAD. This trip is less than 2 weeks away and the reservation for this hotel at this time is non-refundable! These are the key reasons why I was hoping for a resolution. 🌻
I had contacted the hotel last Friday before I posted this on the weekend. They were able to find the group booking but the guy doing it wasn't able to find my reservation. I called again today to see if there was another department that could help and the lady that answered was phenomenal!
She confirmed the booking, confirmed that despite the drama happening they can't cancel my reservation. As a few of you recommended, she did put a note on my reservation saying that I will be arriving and not to change it for any reason.
Lastly she told me to come and enjoy my trip as it's a wonderful vacation and I'm likely to have an incredibly good time. That this happens a lot and that everything will work out; the hotel has my back 💖😭 And that, as they say, is that. 🎉
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s update:
If I were OP, I'd be reaching out to the owner of the travel agency (unless the TA they're working with IS the owner) and loop them into the drama and the TA ghosting me. That TA is getting commission on OPs booking, and taking proper care of a client can result in future business.
Excellent suggestion. And perhaps she should suggest to the hotel that they take away the travel agent’s commission, as small as it may be. Also, she should contact TICO to report this if she is in Ontario, or other provincial travel agent organizations.
I strongly suspect we’re going to get an update with some drama when she checks in. The bride is going to try to kick OP out of the hotel maybe. Or maybe someone is going to show up expecting to sleep OP’s room, and now they have nowhere to stay because the bride didn’t expect OP to show up. This isn’t over. There is more drama coming.