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Bride kicks bridesmaid out for refusing to follow winter theme, 'go back and change.'

Bride kicks bridesmaid out for refusing to follow winter theme, 'go back and change.'


Sticking to a strict wedding theme can be a difficult task for wedding parties to follow, but ultimately the wishes of the bride or groom overpower your hatred for wearing the color pink for a few hours...

So, when a frustrated New Year's Eve bride decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about kicking her bridesmaid out of her winter-themed wedding, people were eager to help deem a verdict.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for kicking out one of my bridesmaids for showing up in the wrong dress?

My (23F) wedding was back on Saturday December 31st and I'm still getting backlash from this, so I want to know if this was an AH move.

In the country I live in it's currently winter, and we get a fair amount of snow so my wedding was a winter themed wedding. The color theme was forest green and gold. My dress was obviously white, and I chose the color of my bridesmaids dresses to be forest green as well. My MOH's dress was black, and everyone was to wear gold accessories.

I have this friend, we'll call her Kat, that I asked to be one of my bridesmaids. When we went dress shopping and I told them the color theme I was going for, Kat immediately expressed that she thought forest green was a bad choice.

She said the thinks it's not a flattering color, and thought I should choose something different and more 'girly.' I said no because my wedding was winter-themed and I thought the color would go perfect with the theme.

She suggested a pink, blue, even a red. I said no, but thanks for your opinion. She found out my MOH's dress was black and asked if she could wear black too? I said no, only my MOH is wearing black.

I paid for all the dresses. Fast forward to wedding day, everyone's getting their hair and makeup done and Kat show's up 30 minutes late holding a bag that looked like it had a dress inside. I asked her what this was for? She told me it was for later on at the reception if she got uncomfortable and wanted to change after pictures. I was like ok cool.

So fast forward we're all dressed and walking down the stairs because the ceremony is beginning in 30 mins and we were going to take some pictures before. Kat is the last person to come down and she's wearing a BLACK DRESS.

At the time I was preoccupied taking pictures with my parents, but my MOH came over to me and made me aware of the situation.

I confronted Kat and asked her what was going on. She said she hates her bridesmaid dress, as the color is ugly and makes her look gross so she's wearing black. I told her please go back and change.

She refused and started walking away from me. I said I'm going to ask her one more time, and if she doesn't oblige I'm calling security and kicking her out. She began yelling at me to f*ck off, so I called security and asked them to please escort her out. She started making a BIG scene yelling how I'm such a b*tch, that I can't force her to wear anything and that I'm a horrible inconsiderate friend.

The wedding went on and it was truly amazing. Ever since the wedding Kat has been blowing up my phone with texts saying some really nasty things and asking for the money back she spent on the black dress, since it was a waste and she didn't get to wear it. I had to block her number.

Some of my other bridesmaids have been giving me sh*t saying that it was a little harsh kicking her out and embarrassing her like that. And that maybe I should give her the money back. AITA for kicking her out?

Did this bridesmaid not know what being a bridesmaid entails? Wearing whatever dress the brides picks is usually the first step.

Considering all of the colors bossy brides have chosen in the course of wedding history, forest green seems like a fairly tame choice here. Of course, the jury of internet strangers was ready to deem a verdict on this wedding drama. Here's what people had to say...

_mmiggs_ said:

NTA (Not the As*hole). She embarrassed herself. She agreed to wear the dress you picked out, and then deceitfully planned to change at the last moment in the hope that you'd just let her get away with it. She knew that you would tell her no.

Think of being in a wedding as like playing a part in a play, or a ballet, or something. You get cast as 'bridesmaid,' so you wear the costume that the artistic director has picked out for bridesmaids to wear.

If you don't want to wear the costume, don't be in the show. But you can't just show up on opening night and say 'I didn't like your costume choices, so I'm going to wear the same costume as this other character instead.'

Old_Calligrapher_292 said:

NTA - it is your wedding. IF she didn't want to wear the color that you chose she could have easily politely backed out and said she would love to attend as a guest but wasn't comfortable wearing that color. You also paid for the dress not her where many would complain that they are buying a dress they will never wear purchased it.

AgentAlpo said:

NTA. If you're going to be a bridesmaid, you have to be prepared to do what the bride wants. Kat should have declined and just gone as a guest. And no, you don't owe her anything. If anything, she owes you for the green dress that you bought that she refused to wear.

Alarming_Reply_6286 said:

Kat is a walking disaster. As a wedding planner, I will say I am truly very sorry that you had to deal with that right before walking down the aisle. Anyone who purposely creates unnecessary drama at another person’s wedding goes right out the door! Ignore Kat... she will never see or own the fact that she was the only one responsible for all her own problems. NTA.

So, there you have it...

Everyone agreed unanimously here that this bride wasn't at all wrong to kick her bridesmaid out for refusing to wear the free green dress for a few hours. Note: before you agree to be a bridesmaid, Google 'bridesmaid.' Good luck, everyone!

Sources: Reddit
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