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Bride asks if she was wrong to send server home because of 'flashy' appearance.

Bride asks if she was wrong to send server home because of 'flashy' appearance.


In a post on Reddit a bride asked if she was wrong for wanting things to be a certain way on her wedding day. There are a ton of posts about bridezillas, but is this one of them? Take a read and let us know...

I (25f) and my Husband (30M) and I got married last Friday. We planned our dream wedding down to our dream catering company.

The wedding was beautiful after the pictures we headed to our cocktail hour, and that's when I saw her. My guest were all told to wear dark colors so my husband and I stood out, I also asked my guests to wear minimal makeup. I had assumed that applied to the staff too.

The server (19ishf) had on clearly too much eyeliner. she also had diamond studs in her ears a flashy ring, and one of those ugly nose studs. The staff's uniform was a black long-sleeved shirt but on her, it was too low cut and her pants were far too tight.

It was super distracting. she was walking around serving drinks and talking to my guests. I asked another member of the staff to speak to their boss. when their boss came out I pointed out the server and asked that she be dealt with cause she was super distracting. their boss apologized and called the server back into the kitchen.

not even an hour later the server was back out serving food for dinner. I called the boss over again and asked if the server could work in the back or go home. Her boss said they were short-staffed tonight so she would see what can be done.

after a couple of hours of not seeing her, I saw the server again behind the bar. I called the boss out one last time and told her if the server didn't leave I would be calling the cops. the boss finally relented and told the girl to go home.

My husband and mother-in-law said I was acting crazy and that I probably got a poor college kid fired over nothing. My mother and MOH said it's my wedding so I can do as I please. It's my wedding and I don't want someone over-shining me and the server should know she's at work and not dress up so much. I do feel kind of bad because she was pretty young.

Am I the a**?

A Reddit sleuth, who is also a caterer, tracked down a coworker who was at the actual wedding. Here's what that person had to say:


This sounds like a story my coworker told me. After sending the post to my work gc I confirmed this is in fact the same wedding. And I have screen shots of the texts I got sent during the wedding. Yep my coworker is the server! I just wasn’t managing that event if I was I would’ve raised hell

Just to clarify some things I saw in the comment tho:

1)our uniforms change depending on the weather this was a day time wedding in 90 degree heat so light weight long sleeve tops

2) the wedding was a 3 1/2 hour drive for most of us so our usual team of 15 people was cut to 9 (I wasn’t there cause the drive was too long and I’m not comfortable driving that far late at night)

3)she wasn’t fired but she did have to leave early…but that’s not a bad thing cause that means she didn’t have to clean up after the wedding and still got paid

4) jewelry is allowed at our job it just has to be simple which is what she had on simple jewelry and her engagement ring.

5) she was actually 18 and in high school. (She can bartend supervised since she’s 18)

6) makeup is allowed it just can’t be crazy makeup. So eyeliner specifically winged eyeliner which is what she had on is in fact allowed.

7) we buy our own uniforms and are reimbursed for the cost. She accidentally shrunk her pants and hadn’t gotten the chance to get new ones

My coworkers and I are all laughing at this. Op seemingly left out the fact one of the fathers kept flirting with the staff, some of the guest got shit faced and tried to steal from the bar, ops wedding planner walked into the kitchen at one point and almost broke down crying, and the groom and groomsmen got way to high and left half smoked blunts all over the place

Here's what people in the comments thought:


YTA - You are so insecure that you asked your guests to dress down for the wedding, and you harassed a server until she was fired. I don't know how you look on the outside, but on inside you are 'ugly'.


OP spent her own wedding freaking out that a young server in a uniform may have outshined her. What a waste of energy.


YTA. You sound absolutely insane. And you definitely didn't get her fired. I'm sure all the servers had a laugh about it after.

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