Here's the story:
I’m getting married in a couple months and in the process of selecting bridesmaids dresses for the bridal party. I’ve kept my dress elegant, I don’t have any cleavage showing, and let’s just say my sister is incredibly blessed with her boobies.
By no means am I a prude, and I celebrate women’s bodies, but cleavage was not what I had in mind for any of my bridal party. I have a colour scheme in mind and told my bridal party they could choose whatever style they’d like out of the colour (within reason of course).
Everyone has chosen something I’m happy with, but while my sister has chosen something pretty, the cleavage section doesn’t leave much to the imagination. I tried to put it as delicately as possible and she did not handle this well.
She’s in love with this dress and accused me of ‘body shaming’ and ‘picking on her’ because it’s ‘not her fault she has big t*ts’. She’s not talking to me currently as she thinks I’m singling her out.
I tried explaining to her that I want to keep my wedding quite modest and classy, and I feel like having her cleavage out against everyone else’s modest dresses would just stick out way/ be the centre of attention way too much.
I’ve tried offering to find an alternative but like I said, she’s been ignoring me and my texts. If it weren’t my wedding I couldn’t care less what she wears. AITAH here?
To add more context for debate: She’s also only just turned 18, and the big sister in me doesn’t want anyone ogling her and having that in the back of my mind on the day. I also fear the old nip slip in this dress. This is what she wants to wear.
Well, your first mistake was saying they could choose a dress of their choosing. If you wanted full coverage you should have chosen a selection of dresses and had them pick which one they liked.
Do take the following into consideration. If you have big breasts, everything will look like you're flaunting it. It's annoying and also makes us self conscious. Usually we're not trying to show off the max booba.
Most of the time we're desperately trying to find something that doesn't look like we're wearing a shapeless kaftan or trying to walk the streets at night. It usually is one or the other. It is damn hard to find a piece of clothing that make the girls and the rest look decently dressed.
Since we’ve seen the dress your sister picked, I can say this IS about the DRESS. not your sisters boobs. That dress is like that on everyone and definitely isn’t “wedding” like. Idk, I’d stand my ground. I feel like your sister is gas lighting you bc of her poor choice
^THIS! Also, no bridesmaid should be trying to outshine the bride on her own wedding day. Little sis needs to grow up.
No y'all 18nyr old sis has big Ole boobs and choose THAT DRESS for her big sisters BRIDAL party gown? She's not just a guest she's going to be front and center in front of everyone with her Tata hanging out.
She's either trying to flaunt her body/ look sexy or she's really stubborn and a little clueless but the fact she got defensive means she knows exactly what's she's doing and not that you'll go there but this is YOUR wedding it matters what YOU and Your partner want not her and if she has a problem she doesn't have to come.
You wanting no cleavage is a simple ask. NTA. Sister needs to grow up and realize it isn’t her day and cover her damn boobs up. It’s really not the end of the world. For photo sake, her boobs hanging out would definitely be noticeable and stand out from the rest. Sounds like she’s mad she can’t dress as provocative as she likes.
Someone’s else’s wedding isn’t the place to “be sexy”. I’d tell sister if she can’t respect your wishes, she can’t be in the party. You don’t owe her anything just because she’s your sister. She sounds disrespectful and inconsiderate if this has triggered her to ignore you. Kick her out of the party I say!
And crella-ann said:
The dress OP likes may not work with a big bust. It looks squashy.