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Bride threatens to kick bridesmaid with condition out if she doesn't dye hair; AITA?

Bride threatens to kick bridesmaid with condition out if she doesn't dye hair; AITA?


Insisting on bridesmaids wearing a matching dress they'll never wear again is par for the course, but forcing your family and friends to change the color of their hair is definitely crossing a line...

So, when a conflicted bridesmaid decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about her future sister-in-law's wedding requests, people were there to help deem a verdict.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for not dyeing my hair for someone’s wedding?

So for context I (20f) was born with a rare condition, and it made me born with a large patch of hair white. It’s always been white all my life, and the rest of my hair is dark brown. When I was a kid I tried dyeing it several times but it burned and left rashes until it faded.

My older brother (27m) is getting married in about a month. He’s marrying ‘May’ (25f). They have made me one of the bridesmaids. Yesterday May and my family were having a large supper ‘party’ to talk about the wedding more and just see each other. During dinner May said I should schedule an appointment to the hairdresser’s soon.

I asked her why, and she said I needed to get ‘that thing’ covered up for her wedding pictures, I was a bridesmaid after all so I had to look nice. I said I would never dye my hair again, but she got a bit huffy and left the room for a bit, and my brother said to just dye it this once, with maybe temporary dye?

He said it was May’s choice, she was the bride, and if I didn’t comply they would simply pull me out of the wedding ceremony. I still tried to defend myself, but I think I did too much, I said it was my choice and I didn’t care what anyone said, and my brother just got angry and told me I was an as*hole. Am I? It is their wedding after all but part of me feels justified so I’m torn.

Of course, the jury of internet strangers was eager to weigh in on this wedding drama. Here's what people had to say...

Spare-Article-396 said:

NTA (Not the As*hole). A wedding doesn’t cancel body autonomy. This is not a normal ask. Aaaaand, now you know what she thinks of you, as well.

Aircee said:

Bodily autonomy is the most important part of this conversation, but I want to add it's also her natural hair color! It's not even like she chooses to dye it rainbows (like I do, because bright colored hair is awesome too) or something crazy that will clash with the dresses, it's WHITE. As neutral as it gets. NTA.

BlueMoon-9786 said:

NTA I’m so sorry. That was a pretty harsh way to find out what your FSIL and brother think of your medical condition and yourself. You deserve family, and friends for that matter, who accept you for who you are. I know it may cause friction with your family but feel free to drop out of the wedding party, letting everyone know you didn’t fit the bride’s ‘aesthetic’ in the process.

queenly_flux said:

NTA. It's a natural part of your appearance. She's acting like a jerk by insisting you risk damaging your hair to suit her preferences.

befay666 said:

NTA they knew what your hair looked like when they asked you to be a bridesmaid.

So, there you have it...

Everyone agreed unanimously here that this bridesmaid absolutely should not feel bad about refusing to dye her hair to please a bridezilla. Let's light a candle for this family's inevitably awkward future holidays...

Sources: Reddit
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