'AITA for leaving my wedding reception after my husband went behind my back?'
"AITA for not continuing my reception after my husband went behind my back?"
Overall-Candy-4513
My now husband Lucas (26) and I (F,25) were getting married. We decided to tie the knot as we were having a little girl together and are madly in love. So leading up to the wedding day Lucas told me that his best man (Jacob) wanted to propose to his girlfriend as it would be a great time and it is a nice venue to do it at.
I said that I didn’t want him to propose at our wedding as it is our special moment, not theirs and that they can do it sometime else. Lucas told me that his friend was mad that I didn’t agree. I just wanted the wedding to be about us because it was our special day. After that disagreement I thought nothing of it.
Fast forward to my wedding day. We had finished the church service and now we’re at the reception were all having fun eating. I’m eating my food and then Jacob stops the music at the DJ booth to make an announcement.
I just knew from that moment he was going to propose. I look to see where Lucas was and he was holding red and white roses walking out to stand in front of Chloe (Jacob’s girlfriend) spelling out. “Will you marry me?”
I was shocked that they went behind my back when I said no. I got up out of seat and walked out. It’s been 2 days since the wedding and my husband cursed me out for not letting them have a special moment.
I responded with “I wanted the day to be about us because it’s our wedding not theirs and I am happy for them but the worst thing was even though I said no you went behind my back about it.”
Since that argument he moved to the guest bedroom and now most of my friends are cursing me out on all my socials. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
I think that you were a poor hostess by leaving your guests because you were having a hissy-fit. Guests will remember your trauma-drama behavior at your own wedding... not a good start to your marriage. You could have been kind to allow a 20 minute indulgence of his marriage proposal.
Everyone would have thought you were lovely and generous to share your special day with your husband's best friend. Instead, you made this moment all about you. Two of you were married, not just you. If your best friend asked you to propose at your wedding would you have responded this way? Apologize, apologize, suck it up buttercup, and be the better person...
Overall-Candy-4513 OP responded:
You missed the entire point I didn’t want them to propose at my wedding but they did and I’m happy that they’re getting married the point is that my husband went behind my back about it
lostalldoubt86
NTA NTA NTA They are SO many posts here and on the revenge forums about assholes who propose at other peoples’ weddings. It’s a terrible thing to do and I’m surprised his girlfriend didn’t turn down the engagement for doing something like that.
If he wanted a nice venue, he should have paid for a nice dinner or something, NOT use a celebration you just spend thousands of dollars on to make it about him. I would be requesting the cost of their meals back.
The fact that your new husband went behind your back is also pretty terrible. Your friends who are cursing out on social can be easily removed from your life. Your husband, though. I think this is something that will have to be discussed in couples’ counseling so he can see what a selfish backhanded thing he did.
accioqueso
NTA, but ladies, this is why we do not get married to a guy just because we are pregnant, and why we make sure we are all set on our birth control as well.
kiwi-sparkle
NTA. The friend is an AH and a cheapskate and he should have backed off the minute he realised you didn’t like the idea. Your husband is the bigger AH. If your husband can’t respect a simple decision like that on your wedding day, see it as a sign for your future. Get this marriage annulled - it won’t last long if you aren’t prepared to be a doormat.
I’m going to go with what typically happens as well - you as the bride probably put more effort into this day than the groom so truly this should have been your choice. If you care about people’s opinion, send out one mass text explaining what happened and how your wishes were disrespected. Then go silent.
Primary_Bass_9178
Agreed, none of this speaks to the future health of your marriage. After being on Reddit for a while. I downloaded Emily Post’s Rules so i can assure myself I am not going mad…. People just have no consideration or empathy these days.
Some rules are quite outdated for good reasons (i.e. it’s generally ok to wear black to evening weddings, the bride’s father is not expected to pay for everything etc ) but other things should be common courtesy, and everyone should know.
1) don’t wear white, and
2) don’t use a weddings for any announcements that will take attention from the bridal couple. Even if you are actively dying, you need to take that shit outside!
SpruceOaks
NTA - I'm sorry, but you just married and disrespectful idiot. This is a black flag. Any man with any ounce of morality or respect would never have even approached you about his friend proposing to his gf during YOUR wedding.
How incredibly rude and disrespectful! If you have already signed the marriage certificate, find a judge to start the annulment process. You can't be married to someone who so fundamentally disrespects you. You are in for a lifetime of hurt if you do. I'm so sorry.
ComprehensiveNail416
NTA. Get an annulment, if that’s how little he respects your wishes at the wedding, he will never treat you with a shred of respect now that he “has” you.
gracie_jc
NTA. But YWBTA to yourself if you say with him. Wow, such disrespect on YOUR wedding day! Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. If you forgive him it will set precedent that he’s allowed to walk all over you. Get an annulment if possible, set your finances straight and separate. Do not commingle finances from now on just in case!
It hurts, but it’s better to rip off the band aid now than much later years down the line with even more suffering. Spend your youth being happy and surround yourself with people that respect you, even if you are single. i guarantee you’ll sleep much peacefully with your little family than with him by your side.