So, when a frustrated sister decided to consult the amazingly petty and judgmental group, 'Wedding Shaming,' about her experience with her borderline bridezilla sister, people were eager to pile on the shame.
So, a little background. I am the second youngest of 5 kids. My older siblings are two brothers and one older sister, who we’ll call E for the purposes of this post. E and I have a 5 year age gap, as a result we never really had that “sisterly” bond you would expect most sisters have.
Growing up I was always a burden to her, and anytime it was my turn to pick the family movie (or really anything) she would get upset. The reason being that she had control issues as early as 9.
So I’m guessing you can already see where I’m going with this. I’m currently 18 (about to turn 19 - woohoo!) and E turned 24 earlier this year. Her bf “A” proposed to her at a family beach day earlier in June of this year. It was one of those “big white letters and rose pedals” proposals which he set up before my family arrived.
She was thrilled, said yes, and my parents were very happy along with my older siblings (the youngest is 4 so I don’t think she understood what was happening).
Now here’s the drama - since the proposal she has gone into full bridezilla mode. At the behest of my mom, E made me a bridesmaid. So I’m roped into all the b.s. so far these are the demands my dear sister has made:
All bridesmaids are to pay for their own dress (a $300 dress! In blush pink), shoes, hair, and makeup.
All bridesmaids need to attend all wedding and bachelorette events, including:
A. The bachelorette spa day $800 each
B. The bachelorette vacation weekend to Toronto and stay at the Fairmont hotel $1000 weekend just for hotel
C. The dress appointments (even if just for bride), all alterations covered by the person themselves. $300 dress plus approx $300 alterations etc
D. All things to do with wedding (cake, venue, catering etc) they need to attend. The cake and food tasting, they all need to pay $25
E. The guests, and the bridal/groom party need to pay $150 to reserve their spots. And gifts have to be either cash, cheque, or from the list of registry items. She has a spreadsheet of what everyone is gifting, and has said she will return items that aren’t from her registry/match her theme
My mom says it’s bride anxiety, I say it’s just my sister trying to control everything because she wants a December wedding on a ski hill. Bleh 🤮
All bridesmaids need to go to hair and skin appointments every 6 weeks to ensure our hair and skin is “flawless” for pictures, it’s out of pocket too.
Anyone with tattoos needs to cover them (our dresses will do that. They go to the neck, ankles, and wrists. The bride wants to be the only one sleeveless/showing her tattoos and colorful hair style). Either we need to get our hair dyed to a natural color, or wear a wig at our expense:
The dresses only come in sizes 00-10 (pretty good range for most. But those who don’t fit are expected to try to lose weight. I’m a size 12, and already my sister is calling me fat. She’s sent me a Keto diet book through Amazon.
No one (vendors) are to communicate directly to the bride/groom. It has to go through us first. She made a Gmail with “lastnamewedding” which we all have access to, and we aren’t supposed to ask her if something is okay. We should just know (this is the part that stresses mom out)
We need to remind the guests that they need to pay a deposit of $150 to save their spot, and if we don’t get it, they don’t come. We also need them to confirm what they’ll purchase from the registry or the $ amount they’ll give.
Of course, the jury of internet strangers was eager to weigh in on this wedding drama. Here's what people had to say:
Bridezilla or not, she sure is selfish. These costs are being expectations. I’d let your mom know that you need some money or you’d love to be a guest.
$150.00 to ‘reserve’ my spot?!! That makes me a customer, not a guest.
Please drop out as a bridesmaid. Your mom can just say she can’t control you. Lol. Tell your sister you love her but due to commitments for school and finances you won’t be able to make her wedding the priority it deserves (say without laughing).
Drop out. Ask your mom “what about my peace?” It’s outrageous to expect people to PAY TO BE A GUEST plus gift, let alone expecting a 19 yo to pay over $2,000 for stuff when you can’t even drink yet (or can you- if you are in Canada?)
The BIG problem is shaming you into potentially disordered eating behaviors. Sorry but F your sister. Shaming you, mocking you, sending you diet books- that isn’t keeping the peace.
That is your mom taking the road of least resistance with a controlling child while sacrificing you. Keep the peace by removing yourself from this nightmare before it gets worse.