Bridesmaid asks if it's ok to drop out of wedding after bride demanded she gain weight.
We see it time and again, an entitled bride tries to force one of her bridesmaids to lose or gain weight, change their hair color, or cover up their tattoos in hopes of achieving that 'perfect' cookie-cutter wedding photo. More often than not, if a friend is trying to dictate your appearance, they're not a friend, they're a Bridezilla.
Reddit user u/Station-Tune9973 recently found herself in this situation when was asked to be a bridesmaid by one of her close childhood friends. The bride's demands for her to gain weight in order to fit in with the rest of the wedding party, have forced this bridesmaid to consider dropping out of the wedding altogether.
Now she's asking the internet, 'AITA (Am I The A**hole) for quitting as a bridesmaid because of the request the bride made?'
She writes:
I (f21) have a childhood friend named Natalie (22). Her family and mine know each other well. (We were neighbors and have been in contact for years attending events and going on trips together.)
She's getting married soon and she's picked me to be one of her bridesmaids. I agreed because I felt honored to be included as I've never been a bridesmaid before.
Anyway, the issues started arising, she kept making strange requests and I went along with them. Then she brought up my weight (or lack thereof) and asked if I could gain weight before the wedding.
For context, I'm underweight due to an eating disorder (I'm 43 kg.) I struggled with body image and stuff and now I've come to terms with how I look and have turned this negative thing into something that empowers me to live my life how I want.
I turned her down, but she went on to rant about how odd it'll be for me to 'look like that' and insisted I consider it. I was willing to let this go if she dropped it but she doubled down and sent me a 'diet' to get me to gain weight.
This triggered me as I've been forced before to eat more/less and I didn't feel comfortable anymore. I returned the list and said no. She got upset and said I need to this or won't be a bridesmaid anymore.
I said 'fine I'm no longer a bridesmaid then.' She went nuts begging and pleading and sending family to tell me to do what she says and go with the flow cause she has no one else to replace me and that 'she picked me for a reason.'
I'm feeling under pressure and feel guilty for her to be in this position. I asked my boyfriend and he said 'of course, she picked you for a reason, and that's cause you have a hard time saying no'. But he could be biased since he dislikes my family and keeps telling me to limit contact with them.
AITA for this?
It would be one thing if the bride was concerned about her friend being underweight due to her eating disorder, but if that's the case, she's going about it in the wrong way. From this post, it seems more like Natalie is a Bridezilla trying to control everyone in the wedding party's appearance to capture that 'perfect' wedding photo. I'd say that's a glaring red flag to ditch that friendship, fast.
Reddit users all agreed that this bridesmaid is not 'The A**hole' for dropping out of her shallow friend's wedding. Hopefully, she continues to work on her health in a positive way without the harsh judgment of her so-called friend.
NTA - Not only should you drop out as a bridesmaid, you should drop out of her life. This person is not your friend. They care more about having the “perfect” looking day than about your well-being. She’s being incredibly selfish for a day she likely won’t even remember all that much years from now.
Another Bridezilla. It’s an epidemic. The next thing is asking you to color or cut your hair. Or get a wig, bc the other bridesmaids all have long hair. NTA
The fact that she wants you to gain weight knowing very well that you have a eating disorder is disgusting. Like seriously wtf. NTA.
NTA. OP, you are not required or obligated to do ANYTHING to your body for the sake of someone’s wedding of all things. It’s time to go NO CONTACT.
NTA. And listen to your bf: he looks like the only person who cares about your health and well-being.
You're not comfortable with the bride's request, and the decent thing she should do would be to drop the subject. Instead, she turned into a certified bridezilla. Stick to your no and take care of your health ❤️
NTA. Holy crap that bride is a COLOSSAL asshole. Honor your body, your feelings, and your needs. Say no to her and tell her to take her wedding and shove it up her ass. She has absolutely NO right to insist on you changing YOUR body and shaming you for how you look because of HER day.
I'm astonished at her insensitivity given that she knows your history with food and your body image. Wtf?! What a trash human. Ugh... This made me so angry to read.
YIKES. NTA. Anyone making comments about your body like that (especially if they know about your ED) isn't really a friend. They apparently expect to just mistreat you and have it work out in their favor which is laughable.
NTA. I would feel differently towards her if she had come to with concern regarding your health, but she has absolutely 0 rights to demand you to alter your physical appearance to look a certain way for her wedding, that’s an insane demand.
With that said, I am a recovered anorexic myself and I feel for you. I hope that you won’t let this affect your health in a negative way.