'I agreed to be a bridesmaid. Big mistake for me. It's a monstrosity of a wedding.'
Expecting bridesmaids to give you a rose gold banner or balloon arch at a destination bachelorette party on a luxury island is unfortunately the standard that Instagram brides have set...
Are you required to spend a month's income on your friend just because they happened to find love? Why should you have to stock someone's kitchen because they want a tax cut?
So, when a conflicted bridesmaid decided to vent to the hilariously judgmental 'Wedding Shaming' group on Reddit, scorned ex-bridesmaids everywhere and people who love wedding-related gossip were all ears.
Agreed to be in a wedding. Had no idea how much it would cost...
So I agreed to be a bridesmaid - I know, shame me. But I really had NO idea how much this would cost. I’ve been in other weddings and was only required to buy the dress. Big mistake for me - I’ve never been in a monstrosity of a wedding.
I started to see the beginnings of my mistake when shower plans started to happen. The bride’s sisters wanted to throw the bride a shower. However, it HAD to be at an expensive restaurant for 20+ people. No discussion of a cheaper venue and bringing food from outside could be had.
Of course, the other bridesmaids also had extraordinarily expensive weddings, so there was no budget. Sister justified all by saying she thought it was “worth it.” She also took credit for the shower like she did everything and harassed everyone else in a group chat.
She said what everyone owed and who had paid. I was the only one who expressed some issues with the budget - not surprisingly, she announced who was “paid up” except when I paid.
No announcement when I finally gave her money. I guess that’s because I was the only one to say the budget was a little uncomfortable for me because I had other financial issues I was dealing with.
Then she tried to take credit for the entire thing - although, admittedly, I finally told the bride the cost was split. I couldn’t hold my tongue any longer on it. I’m $700 in at this point. Bride says I have “financial responsibilities” as a bridesmaid. But this is absurd. I ordered the dress she wanted - it doesn’t fit even though I measured.
Plenty of room in the bust but the waist is so tiny, it’s not even conducive to life. And it can’t be returned. Now I need a seamstress and an additional 3 nights of hotel rooms for the rest of the wedding. Plus another $100 for the hair she wants.
This is just insane. I eloped and just said whoever wants to come can come. She didn’t even say “congratulations” for mine since I didn’t send invitations for mine. This is just eating at me.
I’m just having a hard time justifying spending almost $2K on someone who couldn’t pick up a card at the grocery store and put it in the mail for me. I eloped, so I don’t get the big stuff, but just a card is nice to say you’re happy for me. Sorry, I’m ranting here a bit, but maybe someone will understand.
Of course, the jury of wedding shamers was ready to help out here. Here's what people had to say:
russellcat77 said:
These pre-wedding activities seem over the top to me - I see no shame in pulling out and declaring it all out of budget. Real friends would be understanding.
squarebear221254 said:
My daughter is getting married in a few weeks and I had already told her MOH that I was paying for her dress, hair and make up. I know she's a single mum and money is very tight. She has been so appreciative. The brides that expect things beyond the norm to me, are spoiled rotten.
EggplantIll4927 said:
Drop out and just tell her you cannot afford to be In Her wedding, your budget just can’t stretch to $2000.
Hotbitch2019 said:
Rant all you want and don't be afraid to stop spending on this wedding.
[deleted] said:
I’m American, and these stories are beyond the pale. My bridesmaids bought their dresses, which were pretty reasonably priced. They threw me a coffee-and-cake shower - nothing fancy, but appreciated. Done. This expectation of massive cash outlay is crazy. I’m so sorry this is happening to you.
StrawberryAgitated64 said:
This isn't an American thing, it's a crazy influencer thing or for people with plenty of money.
FULLMETALRACKIT518 said:
The word NO comes to mind as being helpful here.
[deleted] said:
Omg y'all...what is up with this nonsense? How do zillas like this have so many friends? Why do people put up with this? I don't get it at all.
unreedemed1 said:
I spent $2000 on a wedding as bridesmaid and spent the morning of cleaning the venue and setting up since they were trying to DIY the whole thing. I got there at 8:30 for chores and was starving, no food was provided until the wedding meal at 3!