Bridesmaid shares horror story of Disney-obsessed couple's wedding, 'SERVE ME.'
Being a bridesmaid can be enough of a chaotic and expensive journey of vacation planning, rose gold decorations, and joining a crew of unpaid coworkers...
So, when a bridesmaid decided to vent to the gloriously petty 'Wedding Shaming' group of Reddit, people were ready for all the juicy gossip.
I hate my BFF's husband and in-laws...
So I just attended my BFFs wedding. And my lord, I never liked her Fiance, but this experience made me absolutely loathe him and his family. She deserves so much better. Take a seat because this is a wild ride.
So, my BFF (25F) invited me to her wedding that just happened in Jan. She asked me to be one of her bridesmaids in Sept of last year and I was ecstatic. I had moved away to another city and was so happy to be included.
From the beginning, she has told me that she planned on her wedding to be Disney themed since both her and her now husband love anything Disney related.
I wanted to be of the most help I could even from across the states so I sent her over a few dozen of Disney poster collection as my gift to her to use in any way she wanted for the decor as she planned on DIY'ing alot of the wedding. And during that same month she asked me to be her bridesmaid, she set up a group chat with the rest of the bridesmaids.
In this chat she specified that each of us would be representing a character so that we could match the groomsmen that we would be walking with. She sent us links to the hairpieces she wanted us to wear along with our designated dress and she let us know that she had sent the same type of links for the groommans to have their hidden Disney shirt with matching accessories as well.
5 months prior to the wedding, keep that in mind. I ordered everything and once the wedding came near, I traveled down to where she was to be of any help. This is where the drama came in.
1st major issue, When I got there, NO ONE was helping her do anything. Not even her fiance. She was heavily pregnant and has a 6 year old. She had so many things she needed to do and I rushed to do my best to help. I helped her make everything. And I mean everything, I was staying at her house until 1 or 2 am with her everyday rushing to finish all the DIY.
2nd issue, on one of those nights of intense stress. Her husband decided to have a party. And invite one of the bridesmaids, which is his sister, and her husband over. My friend was happy to see her and asked if she could help.
This girl flat out said NO and went to party with the group that came over as well as making snide comments about her not taking care of her son even though she could see we were working and her brother was clearly just talking to the other friends.
3rd issue, on the day of the wedding, my bff discovers that her SIL husband as well as her FIL DID NOT get the designated disney shirts or accessories. When my bff confronted her SIL as to why her husband didnt have the things he needed 4 HOURS BEFORE THE WEDDING, this girl literally looked my friend in the eye and said 'That's not my problem.' I'm dead a*s serious.
4th issue, my friend dropped a pretty penny on this venue and paid extra for a bridal suite for the bridesmaids to get ready in. The SIL refused to come because in her words 'she would rather get ready with her mom.'
5th issue, once the SIL arrived,she started making snide comments about my friend's wedding dress. Such as 'that's not how my dress looked' 'it's a bit flashy don't you think' 'I think it's a tad inappropriate.'
6th issue, after the ceremony and come the reception, I find out from my fiance that the grandfather in law was going around demanding who people were and why they were there when he didn't recognize someone. And was extremely rude to people when they informed him that they were not direct family.
7th issue, during the buffet (SERVE YOURSELF BUFFET) I saw the father-in-law go up to a venue worker who was only there to replenish the food, hand her a plate and say 'Serve me' and step back to watch her because he couldnt be bothered to be in line and do it himself.
All of this was informed to the husband. The husband was aware of his sisters behavior (which I feel was incredibly disgusting and so obviously just jealousy on her part) and didn't defend my friend at all.
Every time we told him about what happened he would just shrug and say that's how they are. I honestly hope my friend the best but I dont think the marriage will last long.
EDIT: So it would take forever to answer comments so Ill add some details in case the rest are confused. The 'accessories' I mentioned for the men were literally just socks and a bowtie in the color of the character. Her wedding was not expensive in regards to what she asked for people to buy for the theme.
My dress that she chose was $60 and the hairpin was $10 and everything she chose was on Amazon so it was readily available to buy. It was this fact that was what was heartbreaking for my friend as she sent everyone the links to these items 5 MONTHS prior to the wedding.
In regards to the SIL husband, I think a few are assuming she only went to the SIL because she should be 'in charge of her husband' which is quite the assumption and not why.
She found out about her FIL abd BIL not having their clothes a few hours before the wedding due to her husband calling her while we were getting ready with the bridesmaids (So that means only woman were there) at the nail salon to inform her as apparently the FIL had called and said he had forgotten and that the BIL apparently didnt know about needing the items to begin with.
The FIL, in my opinion, just couldnt give two craps and just didnt want to participate. The BIL, again in my opinion either just forgot and was now lying that he never knew because as I had stated before, everyone was in a group chat and had been sent the links to what they needed.
The reason why my friend went to SIL was because she was at the salon and I really dont see the issue of asking the wife how their husband could say they never knew? I honestly dont think that means thats saying theyre responsible for them but wouldnt anyone else want to ask just to know how they could explain that discrepancy in the moment?
And a final explanation, for the DIY no help issue. I had asked my friend why it was so late that she was doing everything while we were doing everything and she had explained that she still works full time, and takes care of her children.
She had not expected for her husband to not help and unfortunately trying to wrangle everything like the caterers, venue, cake, and etc, her plans to DIY were put on the back burner.
When the party came to the house that one day with the SIL, she was not aware they were even coming and the first person that had walked into the house was SIL. My friend had already asked all her friends and family to help but everyone had said no, so she thought the SIL had changed her mind and had come to help.
When she said no and then the rest of the party came in, that's when my friend got upset because:
1) she couldnt believe the husband had said no but instead was inviting people to have a party and...
2) the fact that later on the SIL made comments on how my BFF should be taking care of the baby so that they could party when she clearly saw that we were working.
Here's what the jury of wedding shamers had to say:
Mevneriel said:
She’s lucky to have you as a friend because she’s going to desperately need you when she gets tired of her husband and his family’s bs.
Eman6198 said:
Things are going to get a lot worse before she has her moment of clarity and takes off the rose colored glasses.
CalligrapherFront258 said:
Some of this sounds like terrible in-laws and some of this sounds like terrible planning. There was so much DIY that you were working with the bride until 2am multiple days? And she expected everyone in the wedding party to be doing this too?
We see so many posts where that level of expected manual labor is getting comments like 'you're a bridesmaid, not unpaid wedding servant, drop out.' She's lucky you cared enough to help see her vision through, but it sounds like she expected a lot from you guys and not everyone agreed to it.
welpwelpwelp11 said:
While the SIL sounds awful, I kinda agree that managing requests made to her husband and father really aren’t her problem. Ladies, it’s time to let men take accountability for themselves!
my-pal-foot-foot said:
If I'm supposed to Disney it up as some character for a wedding party I'm in, I expect the bride and groom to provide whatever accessories I need. Come on.