Bridesmaid walks out of 'controlling' sister's wedding, 'ruins' reception; AITA?
Expensive bachelorette parties, bossy brides, day-of meltdowns and family feuds--weddings can often begin a hilarious chapter of tulle-covered problems...
So, when a conflicted former bridesmaid decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about 'ruining' her sister's wedding, people were ready to hear the drama.
AITA (Am I the As*hole) for walking away from my sister’s wedding and ruining her reception?
I (26F) have two sisters, “Shirley” who is 28, and “Mary” who is 21. Shirley’s getting married, and her naturally bossy and controlling nature has caused a few dramas in all the months of planning.
At the beginning Shirley had six bridesmaids (me, Mary, three friends and her SIL). Friend 1 walked away because Shirley wanted us to contribute $300 each for the bachelorette. And a few weeks later, her SIL walked away because Shirley wanted the two blondes of the group (her and Mary) to go brunnette so that we could all match.
All of this stress has caused Shirley to act even more controlling and snappy, especially to our little sister, a very passive person who has always sought her approval.
Mary changed her hair color, lost three kilos, agreed to look after the guest’s children during part of the reception, and got a week off work to help her prepare everything, all because Shirley wanted her to.
Finally the big day came yesterday and Shirley was yelling at everyone during hair and make-up. At some point she caught Mary eating and made a rude comment about that being the reason why she still looks fat in the dress (I must add that Shirley got her a dress two sizes smaller than everyone else's).
I bit my tongue and tried to understand that she was just under a lot of stress and not to ruin her one special day. I took Mary and went to do our makeup in another room until our sister calmed down, which caused some drama but Shirley got over it quickly.
The biggest drama happened during the reception. Mary thought she was supposed to watch the children during the speeches, cutting the cake, and first dances to make sure no child ruined the footage of those moments.
But before any of that could happen, I found Shirley yelling in Mary's face in the back of the venue. Apparently, there was some essential footage Shirley wanted to get at the beginning of the ceremony, and it was now ruined because Mary was somewhere else.
I intervened, Shirley started yelling at me, and I yelled back. She said we were ruining her wedding, and I told her that we would do better on her next one. Eventually, Mary (who had a few drinks) threw up from the stress.
Needless to say, Shirley got even angrier. I could take the yelling, but when she grabbed Mary’s arm, I reached my breaking point and finally walked out, taking Mary with me.
We missed about 70% of the reception, leaving Shirley without a maid of honor's speech and without babysitting. Word got around, and some people told me that everyone was talking about it and speculating what happened. Mary didn’t want to leave, and she is feeling really bad that Shirley is not talking to us yet.
Now, I'm wondering if I should have just sucked it up for a few more hours instead of ruining her special day. We are all really close, and I don't know if it was worth damaging our relationship for a bit of an attitude. But I couldn’t stand to see Mary treated so poorly by someone she looks up to so much. So, Reddit, AITA?
Making people dye their hair for your wedding is a truly insane request...especially when things like wigs and therapy exist. Luckily, the jury of internet strangers was ready to weigh in on this family wedding drama:
Specific-Literature3 said:
I stopped reading at your sister making people change their hair color. She’s an a*shole. NTA.
frandiam said:
NTA and what unholy Bridezilla Mountain did you climb down off to survive this nightmare? Who EVER would ask bridesmaids to dye their hair to match? Out-f*cking-rageous!! No no and uh NO! Bridesmaids are human beings not little dress up matchy matchy dolls you prop up next to you. UGH and gross.
Poor Mary needs to grow a pair (of ovaries) and stand up to this nonsense. You did right to pull her out of that highly charged situation. No one should be treated like that ever. If Shirley The Terror Bride never speaks to you again consider it a win.
ontario_sidehustle23 said:
NTA. We give a lot of leeway to those whose wedding scenarios are brought up in the reddit, but your sister is a downright bully. There’s no sugarcoating it. You were justified in standing up for Mary and yourself. Your sister owes you both an apology and don’t let anyone else convince you otherwise.
LetsGetsThisPartyOn said:
NTA. “I’ll do better at your next wedding.' Hahahahahahaha. Gold. She ordered your sister a dress 2 sizes smaller, made her dye her hair and babysit kids. Idk how she managed to get someone to marry her the first time.
Starrion said:
NTA Getting married doesn’t give you the right to treat people like that. If four of six bridesmaids took a hike, it’s because she was the ahole.
Creative_Employee316 said:
NTA. Your sister ruined anything that was ruinable that day. No matter how much stress someone is under her behavior was not acceptable.