Throwaway and fake names. Here's the story...
Me (29F) and my husband Rick (40M) got married last week. My brother Jack (33M) was supposed to be a groomsman and everything was set and arranged. Background: Jack had a ONS [One Night Stand] with a girl Amanda, she contacted him saying she was pregnant.
Me/our family tried to discourage him from staying in touch with her in case this was all a scam, but he didn't listen to a word (he never does) and was okay with all this. I haven't met Amanda but our parents have, and mom said that she was cold and didn't talk much.
So Amanda went into labor the night before our wedding. Jack of course dropped everything to go to the hospital. Now, I get that he wanted to be there for the birth of his daughter, that's fine.
But he literally called me up that night and said that he has to skip the wedding, apparently Amanda wasn't doing so well (she's fine now) and he didn't know when the baby would be coming or something. I was honestly floored.
I told him that he could just come for the ceremony and leave after, he didn't have to stay for the reception. I even said that he didn't have to be a groomsman and just come as a guest later/leave earlier.
He said he wasn't sure but he'd try, but I told him that wasn't good enough and he has more care for this Amanda, who's not his wife, girlfriend, partner etc than his own sister.
He pretty much cursed me out and didn't end up attending, and my parents kindly answered the awkward questions about where he was so I didn't have another thing to worry about. My sister Molly (27F) left early to go to the hospital, but other than that everything went well.
Neither my family nor Rick's are happy with what Jack did, not even sparing an hour or two for the wedding, but Molly's been on my back saying that we're horrible and I shouldn't have said that stuff to Jack on the phone. Molly does have a tendency to side with Jack on pretty much everything, but was I the AH?
ETA: For all the people asking, there was a paternity test done and Jack is the dad.
And the comments:
YTA. He can come to your next wedding.
'WHY ARE YOU NOT PRIORITIZING BEING A PROP AT MY WEDDING OVER THE BIRTH OF YOUR FIRST CHILD??'
'WHY AM I, YOUR LITTLE SISTER, LESS IMPORTANT TO YOU THAN THE WOMAN CURRENTLY RISKING HER LIFE TO BEAR YOUR CHILD??'
I don't understand how someone can be this self-centred and not a least kinda-sorta realize they're doing it.
Do weddings do something to the brain! This is not normal behavior!