Couple gets shamed for virtual wedding fundraiser, 'I have not spoken to her in years.'
Donating money to a couple getting married as a wedding gift toward household items or a honeymoon is fairly standard, but what about when the couple asks for money for the wedding itself?
To make matters even tackier, what if the cherry on top is that the 'party' to gather the funds is actually just an awkward Zoom call? So, when an acquaintance of the the bride decided to vent to the hilariously petty group of 'Wedding Shamers,' internet strangers everywhere were ready to roast the 'Stag and Doe' concept.
Haven't talked to you since grad school--but sure, let me donate money to your virtual Stag and Doe...
Context: Stag and Does (Buck and Does) are a rural southern Ontario (and other areas) from small communities where you host a fundraiser for your wedding. Usually you rent the legion or the room over the ice rink, have a live band, a silent auction, a bar and pay $10-20 for cover.
You advertise on facebook, the local paper etc. The wedding party is sometimes supposed to help cover costs of the venue, food, bar etc and the silent auction. All profit goes to the couple. It's gross. I hate it. But it exists.
Bride posted a photo about her one year anniversary and it reminded me of this. Bride and I went to grad school together, we were friends. Have not talked to her/seen her in person in about five years at that point.
Last year around April, got a fb message of a photo of her and her spouse, and saying that parents are hosting a virtual Stag and Doe for Bride and Groom and to etransfer any money to them.
I have not spoken to her in years, I don't think her engagement registered in my brain. That's already somewhat outrageous to get a direct message asking for money. I hate Stag and Does, but they exist as an event, but a virtual one?
Donate to get on a Zoom call where we can watch a sh$tty livestream of a cover band and drink my own wine? F off. Got the Stag and Doe invite around March 2022.
Here's what the jury of wedding shamers had to say about this drama...
sbpurcell said:
My “favorite” virtual invite this year was for a colleague’s wedding. I wasn’t invited to the actual event because she didn’t want to pay for any additional plates. But good news! I could still purchase her an extravagant gift.
Derpazor1 said:
Oh hell no. We have “wedding socials” here in Manitoba. It’s a big party with cheap alcohol, prize draws, and food. Quality of food depends, but we had a Ukrainian wedding social where we had tables upon tables of homemade Ukrainian food.
You pay $10 for a ticket, and get to enjoy the food and free pop, can buy tickets for alcohol or prize draws if you want. Our prizes included strings like a switch, a big smart TV, drink fridge with a jets decal and more.
Parties like that people support often if they don’t even know the couple - it can be a great time. But a virtual party? Like, send me money for nothing? Get outta here.
The_RoyalPee said:
I hail from Ontario and haaaaated stag and does. One couple I used to know had THREE in different cities. Absolutely not. And this is on top of the bridal shower, bachelor and bachelorette parties.
Bartended one once in a condo party room when I was about 18. Some person I knew loosely from my reception job asked me to do it. This one had a raffle and poker tables too.
Man asks for a scotch neat, I had no idea how much liquor was in one drink at the time so I just poured him like a whole glass lmao at least I gave people a good time?
sunshinebear995 said:
I was removed as the MOH, was invited to the bridal shower, and stag and doe but was not invited to the wedding.
piranhas32 said:
I thought Stag and Does were just combined bachelor and bachelorette parties. Not fundraisers.