Cousin-of-the-groom shares horror story of 'the worst wedding that never happened.'
Is it really a wedding if there isn't drama surrounding it that ends in a story your entire family refuses to let you live down at every future holiday?
So, when a soon-to-be newlywed cousin-of-the-former groom decided to vent about their cousin's wedding-that-never-was on the gloriously petty 'Wedding Shaming' group of Reddit, the jury of internet strangers was ready for the juicy tale.
The worst wedding (that never actually happened)...
With my own wedding coming next month, I thought I'd share the story of my cousin's
nightmarewedding.
This happened almost 10 years ago. My cousin started dating his girlfriend (let's call them Groom and Bride) in college. He went on a month-long trip without her, and about a month after he came back, she told him she was pregnant.
She started dropping hints that she wanted him to propose, which he eventually did. Groom later admitted that he did that because she was pregnant, but truly was in love with her at the time. They'd been together for 10 months.
Bride convinced Groom to get married a month after the proposal because she didn't want her baby bump to show. So the entire wedding had to be planned in 5 weeks. Here are some highlights:
Bride wanted her bridesmaids to throw her a bridal shower in a rented venue and a destination bachelorette party, as well as give her gifts on both. These were supposed to be held in the following weeks. I know about the bridal party drama because my cousin (Groom's sister) was a bridesmaid.
She eventually 'settled' for a casino night two weeks before the wedding for her bachelorette, but threw a tantrum over no one wanting to throw her a bridal shower in a venue.
Bride kicked a bridesmaid out of the wedding for getting a pixie cut.
Groom chose me as his best man. I was put in contact with the MOH, who gave me a list of 'groomsmen rules'. Most notably, the Bride forbid us from throwing him a bachelor party.
We found out she was having a bachelorette, so we threw him a bachelor party. Bride almost punched me when she found out.
Bride had a 'dream venue' that was booked for the next 6 months. She sent threatening e-mails to the couple that had the slot she wanted and ended up being banned from the venue entirely. She then decided to get married in her sister's backyard.
Bride also had a 'dream bridal dress store', from which she was also kicked out. This time, because she got in an argument that culminated in her yelling at the consultant and calling her a slur.
She was 'forced' to get a dress at a retail bridal store and cried through her appointment. She also forced all of her bridesmaids to get their dresses at that same store.
Bride banned my aunt (Groom's mother) from the wedding because she wanted to wear a dress instead of a pantsuit (the dress wasn't white, by the way, and my aunt is a really nice person).
She also uninvited my mother (Groom's aunt) because she supported my aunt.
Bride tried to convince Groom to drop out of college after the wedding to help with the baby. He was pre-med.
All of that happened in 4 weeks. Six days before the wedding, I was told the wedding was off. Groom found out Bride was actually 12 weeks pregnant, rather than 8. He did the math and realized the baby was conceived while he was traveling. He confronted her, she admitted to cheating on him while he was away and they broke up.
He's now happily married to someone else, and they have a 2-year-old daughter. We tried to avoid talking about that month for a while, but he says he can laugh about it now.
This story truly has everything: bridezillas, cheaters, paternity drama, bridesmaid rulebooks, and more...
Here's what people had to say about this dodged bullet of a disaster:
Wow, I'm so glad it worked out so that your cousin wouldn’t have had to spend a lot of money through divorce and custody. I had a feeling the kid wasn't his.
Banner307 said:
You told us at the very beginning that the wedding never happened and yet I still got anxiety from reading that list! I'm surprised he got that close to marrying her. He must have been suffocating under all the red flags.
wolfie379 said:
Bride bans groom’s mother? That should have led to an ultimatum “If my mother isn’t invited, I won’t be there.'
Affectionate-Honey-9 said:
Yikes. Glad he found someone better.
ITZOFLUFFAY said:
I think it’s hilarious that she got herself banned from the dream venue and bridal shop, and then the wedding fell through, so now shes not married and she can’t even go to those places in the event she does actually get married.
Bennie212 said:
The crazy is strong with this Bride. I can't imagine how she convinced herself threading the couple with the slot she wanted would work out for her in the end. Then to ban the Grooms Mother!! That's just a Wow to me.