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'AITA for not allowing my sister to use my farm as her wedding venue? I was bullied.'

'AITA for not allowing my sister to use my farm as her wedding venue? I was bullied.'


"AITA for not allowing my sister to use my farm as her wedding venue?"


My late grandpa started his farm whilst he was in his early 20s. There were financial problems along the way, but it became successful, and he became rich. My late grandma who died last year grew up in the average working class home. My parents come from rich families and went to private schools and ivy colleges.

My mother and father always wanted three kids; two girls and one boy. I'm the youngest out of three girls and my parents were desperately hoping their last child would be a boy but since I was a girl they were resentful to me and they didn't show any love to me and I was pretty much treated like Cinderella.

Because my parents showed resentment towards me, my sisters did too and I was bullied by them and they got away with it. We were treated differently as they both went to private schools, private colleges, they were also allowed to do whatever they wanted and eat whenever they wanted.

I went to a public school, public college and I was only allowed to eat three meals a day. I don't mind going to a public school but I'm just trying to show how I was treated differently.

At the weekends I was shipped of to my grandmother's so they could have family time. At age 12 I asked my grandmother if I could live with her and she agreed. As soon as she asked my parents they immediately said yes and started packing my bags.

Whilst going to my grandmothers at the weekend she made me work on the farm even whilst living with her permanently she continued to make me work on the farm at weekends.

I hated that I have to work on the farms and looking back now I realised why she made me do it as she made me work on the farm as a source of therapy as I was constantly arguing and her animals were my therapy. I remember spending most of my days sitting with the horses and feeding the chickens. I also spent a lot of time running across her fields.

My grandmother sadly passed away last year and she left the whole estate to me which my family wasn't pleased about. I decided to leave my job as a lawyer and work full-time on the farm and I'm so much happier. When my grandmother was alive she also used part of her fields for wedding venues and events, she also allowed charities to have events on her farm free of charge.

Two months ago my sister got in contact with me after four years of no contact and said she's engaged and asked me if she could use grandma's field as wedding venue as she would like to get married.

The thing is I can't let go of the past and I have started therapy but I told her I need some time to think about it. My first thought was to charge my sister a price for the venue and make it a price she couldn't afford but it didn't feel right so I simply said no.

Now she's passed my number on to my parents and my other sister and they're all saying this is my grandmother's farm and she should be allowed to get married on the farm and I should even do it for free. My emotions are pretty high right now and I need to know if AITA?

Here were the top rated comments from readers:


This is your response: "This is the only home I have ever known. I will not be used by people who threw me away like yesterday's trash when I was a child and have not chosen to be a part of my life since then. You burned the relationship to the ground YEARS ago.

Grandma knew who all of you were as human beings and she would NOT be pleased to have you all piling on like you are. Legally, this property belongs to me and each of you knows why. My property is off limits. Name may not hold her wedding on my property."

If they escalate, tell them that you will consider it trespassing if they step foot on your property and actually follow through when one of your parents does because one of them will. NTA.


NTA. This is not grandma’s farm - this is your farm and your home, a home that has provided you a safe place for years. It’s up to you how you use your home and who is welcome.


NTA and I would 10000% recommend putting your foot down and absolutely not caving. This is a situation they created themselves. They treated you poorly, sent you to your grandmothers, and were EXCITED when you asked to live with her.

Now your grandmother decided to leave her whole estate to you and the rest of the family is mad they have to deal with the repercussions of their own actions. It's kind of awesome to be honest. To hell with them.

I'm very glad you've found happiness in the farm, and I hope you continue to do so! I'd go back to no contact with your family. I'd block all of them, immediately.


NTA. Suggested response: "This is not Grandma's farm. Grandma is dead. Just like you are to me."


NTA. You have a very abusive family that again tries to use you for their own benefits. It probably won't matter if you agree or not, they will try to make your life hell. They will boss you around as treat you like a stupid employee.

Go to therapy, surround yourself with people that are on your side and do some farming ;) In case you want to be petty, charge them way to much. If they say that they can't afford it, just tell them: "Oh, so ivy league schools don't lead to well paying jobs?"

Or if you ever decide to give them the farm as venue, charge them for every dead daisy you can find - they are the reason you're in therapy, so let them pay for it! By the way, ask your sister if she plans to invite you to her wedding...

So, do you think the OP is holding on to childhood conflict and should let it go? Is she right to feel offended?

Sources: Reddit
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