'Germaphobic' bride writes poem for triple-tested guests to 'resist the urge.'

Taking precautions to avoid COVID, the flu, or other diseases spreading at your wedding is respectful to your guests, but should you write a preschool-style poem instructing your loved ones to remain quarantined in their private dining room?

At some point in the poem writing process you'd think this bride would've reevaluated her concerns and canceled the big wedding, but perhaps she wanted the extra gifts? Testing, masks, and constant hand sanitizer are all normal parts of our reality post-2020, but requiring guests to take three tests when you won't even see them in person might be, dare I say, too intense?

Has this couple heard of outdoor weddings, Zoom weddings, or eloping? Of course, when the bride's post ended up on the gloriously petty and judgmentall 'Wedding Shaming' group on Reddit, people were ready to pile on.

COVID (and RSV and Flu) Cautious Wedding...

My future husband and I are getting married in a month. While we are having a small wedding (~100 guests + bridal party), I am still concerned about the possibility of hosting a super-spreader event. My family is very much into cleanliness and are borderline germaphobic.

We plan to have 9 tables of 10 in the main dining area and a separate room for me, my fiancé, our parents/family, and our bridal party. We will allow select guests into our private room for photos.

We may float around the main dining room briefly, but want to ensure our guests understand how we expect them to interact with us. I wrote this poem below and intend to get it printed on heavy stock paper and leave it at every every place setting, alongside the menus and also in a larger format at the entrance to the venue:

We are so happy you're all here

To celebrate our marriage from far and near

With RSV, influenza, & COVID-19 in the air

We want to make you all aware

While we want to embrace and dance the night away

Please resist the urge and keep at bay

If you must approach, sanitize your hands and wear a mask

We promise this reception will still be a blast

We will make sure we give each other plenty of kisses

Only shower us with blessings and well wishes

Thank you for helping us stay healthy!

My MOH (sister) and mom think this is a great way to establish boundaries, but my fiancé is concerned we will look standoffish and may potentially offend guests. They are all required to test for COVID-19 a week prior to, two days before, and day of our wedding to gain admittance. I feel like they would be understanding. Thoughts?

Later, they updated the post to include:

Update: I appreciate all the feedback. Sometimes tough love and not an echo chamber (my immediate family) is what is needed. We are meeting with the venue on Wednesday to discuss moving the reception outside, where our ceremony will already be taking place. I cannot reduce the guest list this late and I think this will provide more peace of mind for all.

Update 2: We are paying for all guest’s testing.

Of course, the jury of wedding shamers was eager to weigh in on this mess. Here's what people had to say...

brownchestnut said:

Is your idea of a superspreader event 'as long as I and my family don't get sick'? Because it sounds less like you care about this being a superspreader event and more about whether they personally get YOU and your most important people sick.

Only invite those people whose health you actually care about, which seems to be only yourselves and your family. This is really rude and patronizing.

ijustlikebeingnosy said:

I’m offended already if I’m in another room.

MelodicMeasurement27 said:

I would stay at home rather than go to your wedding. I’m sorry but it’s very dramatic and over the top. I don’t understand why you just don’t do both families and bridal party and not the people that are going to be in the separate room? That would make more sense.

GlitterMeThat said:

Legitimately thought this was satire until the comments. Girl just don’t have a wedding

ecstaticptyerdactyl said:

Out of curiosity how do you expect “allowing select guests into our private room for photos” will work? Like will you go get them? Will other guests see them coming/going? Will there be a sign in front of your room, “only specific guests who have been invited into this room are allowed”? How do you imagine this will work without coming off super rude, and also super confusing for other guests.

Also, you realize that doesn’t make you much safer, right? Anyone at any time could have Covid. One of the guests for pictures, a server, the bartender, the wedding planner, the officiant…

So, there you have it...

Everyone agreed unanimously for this one that this bride should cancel her wedding, elope inside a germ-proof bubble and put that poem in a shredder. Good luck, everyone (especially all the triple-tested, masked and sanitized guests who aren't allowed to leave their separate dining room).