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Groom excludes entire family from wedding except mom, sibling wants to confront him.

Groom excludes entire family from wedding except mom, sibling wants to confront him.


Stepping in to give your hot take on someone else's wedding plans is a quick way to piss people off.

In general, people are very sensitive about their wedding plans, and don't want family weighing in with critiques. However, that doesn't mean the wedding couple is actually always right.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, the OP asked if they're wrong for calling out their brother for his stressful wedding plan.

They wrote:

WIBTA if I confront my brother about his wedding?

My older brother is getting married in 2 months. His fiance's family is paying for the whole wedding and they're having it in the Bahamas. They planned a smallish wedding of 60 guests. The only person from our family he invited is our mom.

This was obviously a little upsetting for myself and my siblings but we understood. We have a large family, my mom has 7 kids and has 8 siblings.

You can't really have a small wedding if you invite your large family and it becomes more complicated when you start picking and choosing who in the family can come. There are no hard feelings with him deciding just to have our mom there.

The problem is my mom doesn't want to go alone for a few reasons. She has never flown before or left the country, she is very nervous for this aspect alone. She will also not know anybody at the wedding other than my brother.

She's met his fiance's parents and siblings but it was awkward and there's definitely not a great relationship there. Her family is very rich and our family is the opposite, as a result, there is a large cultural difference.

My brother's future MIL said a few things that upset my mom (although I don't think she meant harm). Because of all this my mom asked my brother if she could bring her partner of 5 years. My brother denied this.

My mom assumed he had an issue with her bringing her partner specifically and then later asked if she could bring her sister to stay in her room.

Not even to the wedding or reception itself but to the hotel, so she didn't have to travel alone and had someone to stay at the hotel with her as she will be in the country for 5 days. She said she'd find a way to cover the extra costs.

He again denied her. At this point, I'm kind of pissed off because my mom is really upset about the whole thing.

She was upset originally about none of our family being invited to the wedding and is now even more upset as she's actually scared about travelling and staying in other country basically alone.

I want to confront my brother about this but my mom has told me not to. Nobody is asking him to invite anyone else to the wedding. I just want him to allow my mom to have a plus 1 so she's not all alone for a week.

My uncle has already said if he doesn't allow her a guest he's just going to fly down there with her and find a cheap hotel for the week.

I respect that it's my brother's wedding and I shouldn't interfere but I think he's being an a*s to our mom and refusing to listen to her fears about going alone.

WIBTA if I bring it up again and try pressure him into allowing her to bring my aunt?

ETA: The reason my mom is trying to get his permission to bring someone to the hotel is that all the food etc is included so and the bride's family is paying. So she would have to organize paying him back.

The thread quickly filled up with responses.

Direct-Ad2561 wrote:

INFO: other than your family being big does your family have complicated problems within it where your mum can’t even invite her partner, her sister, at least one child? But there are 60 of the brides family there. 60!!

There’s something wrong there and I understand not wanting to have a big wedding but it’s cruel to allow his mother to come with nobody there with her. YWNBTA go and tell your brother how it is. He needs someone to wake him up.

Happy-Greyhound-8821 wrote:

NTA but it's not really your fight to have. And I don't think it would work. Encourage your mom to tell her son, I love you. But I am not comfortable traveling to a foreign country by myself. As such I must decline the invitation to your wedding.

I wish you many happy years in your marriage. Then RSVP no and don't go.

NanMcD wrote:

Wait...out of the ENTIRE guest list, the ONLY person on your brother's side of the family is your mom?!?! I just want to be clear that I’m reading this correctly.

If that’s the case, AND your brother is so adamant about no one else even helping his own mother, it sounds like he’s trying to cut you all out of his life. Or his bride is trying to cut you all out of his life.

Whether you’re the a**hole or not, sometimes doing the right thing means being one. And if your mother is truly afraid, maybe she’s not using the right words to make your brother understand.

If he does understand and still behaves this way, you’ve got your answer and he’s definitely the a**hole.

ironicmirror wrote:

NTA- this looks to me like a sure warning sign that you or anyone else in your family is going to have a proper relationship with your brother after he gets married. Talk to him now to sort out what's going on and why he's mad at you guys.

It's agreed that OP is NTA, and also that his brother seems to be distancing himself from the family.

Sources: Reddit
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