I (m26) got married to my wife (f25) two weeks ago. We kept it simple and sweet, and held the wedding and reception at a local hotel.
I have a stepbrother 'Chris' (m36). Chris was already an adult when my mother married his father so we don't really have a relationship and don't know each other that well. Chris is married and they have 11 children ages between 1 and 17.
I was apprehensive about even inviting Chris and his family because we never talk and he behaved really inappropriately at my sister's wedding that was a year ago but that's another story*.
During the reception, everyone was on the dance floor or getting snacks and having a good time. One of Chris' kids, f3, kept asking Chris and his wife to take her to the bathroom. Chris and his wife ignored her and kept dancing.
The kid started screaming at them and having a meltdown. My aunt offered to take her to the bathroom and Chris told her to ignore her and said it's a power play his kid does.
Chris' daughter pulled her dress up and peed on the floor in front of everyone. Chris started yelling at his eldest, f17, to clean the piss up. She started yelling back at him and it caused a whole scene.
I got so much secondhand embarrassment and without really thinking I just told Chris and his family to leave. Chris protested and said he had the situation under control but I told him to just leave.
I mopped up the pee really quickly. The atmosphere was awkward for a bit but everyone went back to having a good time.
My stepdad and my mom are really angry that I asked Chris to leave and told me I was being unreasonable. They said weddings are about family and that includes the awkward moments. I told them that it's not my fault Chris and his wife let their kid pee on the floor and that I just can't let that happen at our wedding.
Chris and his wife blocked me on social media and my sister told me that they've been gossiping about me and making very passive aggressive posts with captions like 'our family is so crazyyyy, some people just can't handle it'.
My stepdad and mom have been super cold to me lately and said I should apologise to Chris and his family but I really don't think they're owed an apology.
Story from OP's sister's wedding:
At my sister's wedding last year, he showed up drunk and took his shirt off and threw it during the ceremony. During the reception he got into a drunken fight with one of my cousins outside the venue, it was a huge mess. I felt really bad for my sister.
From the comments:
Sireyn says:
'Chris is married and they have 11 children ages between 1 and 17.' 👀👀👀
NTA and based on what went down, that family sounds like they're rife with issues. There's just no possible way that each child is receiving the care and attention they deserve, and it sounds like your poor 17 year old niece likely carries a lot of that burden.
GoingNutCracken added:
She will but not without a lot of built up resentment, I know, I was the oldest girl out of nine. Still working thru crap.
NTA. I’d consider what they did to that poor child neglect/abuse. And how effed up in the head do you have to be to see a child asking to be taken to the bathroom in a strange place an effing power play? That’s deranged. Call it what it is, OP: ABUSE. And say it loud to your AH family. Your spouse should be proud. Also, congratulations.