Guest asks if she was wrong to get an accidental pixie cut before cousin's wedding.
While many entitled brides think they can control every detail of their bridesmaids' appearances, what about the bride who thinks she has a say in a guest's hairstyle too?
So, when conflicted woman decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about her cousin's wedding expectations, people were ready for the family drama.
AITA (Am I the As*hole) for not asking the bride's permission cut my hair into a pixie crop?
I'm not going to lie, my cousin Mallory and I didn't have a good relationship growing up. I had leukemia as a kid, and she always resented me for getting all the attention from our relatives for it.
I tried to maintain a good relationship in our teens and in adulthood, but she was not interested in reciprocating. It hurt and I still feel guilty that I had a hand in ruining her childhood, but there's nothing I can do fix it. Whatever I do is never good enough for her. So I guess I just gave up.
Mallory is getting married in June. She told me straight up not to expect me being a bridesmaid since she doesn't want me in the limelight. I understand.
It sucks, especially since our sisters and cousins all have roles, but I get where she is coming from. I'm still welcome to attend the wedding though. So there's that.
Onto today's problem. I do cosplay as a hobby, primarily for a certain series about a wizard school. There's a new movie coming out, and me and my friends want to cosplay as the characters when we go see it.
I normally cosplay as this one character, and in the new movie she has platinum blonde hair. I didn't see the point in spending money on a wig I'd never wear again so I thought I'd bleach my hair.
Plus I hate wearing wigs in general and try to avoid them when I can. Bad idea. Terrible, stupid idea. The dye fried my hair and now I'm back to having a really short pixie crop.
Mallory saw the pics of my new hair cut on instagram and blew up my voice mail. She swore at me and cursed at me for doing that to my hair. Basically, 'how dare [I] do that before her wedding.
[I] just couldn't resist the idea of upstaging her and getting all the attention on [me].' First off, it was a mistake on my part and I wholly, truthfully regret it. And also, I didn't want to cut my hair off in the first place.
It was the last resort after all attempts to save it failed. Not to mention, I'm not in the wedding party. I'm just the cousin who wouldn't be in any pictures if Mallory has a say in it. I'd just be another guest off to the side. I know my new haircut is extreme, but we've all seen me sans hair already.
My mum and aunts (bless her) says that Mallory is just being out of line. I don't need to ask her permission to change my hair since I'm just a guest, not a bridesmaid or anything. But my sisters and our cousins are on her side and say I should have asked her permission for doing what I did to my hair.
At this point, maybe I should just not go to the wedding. Mallory would probably prefer it that way. AITA for not asking Mallory, as the bride's, permission to cut my hair into a pixie crop before her wedding?
Yikes...here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this:
MrsCakeakaJane said:
NTA, and Mallory is bat sh*t crazy (all the time by the sound of it) and is being a prime example of a Bridezilla right now.
_clumsykay__ said:
NTA. I don’t understand bridezillas in general but she sounds unhinged to begin with. You had cancer and she hated you for the attention you got…and YOU feel guilty?
I get kids being jealous and not fully grasping certain situations but she’s a grown ass woman now. She sounds like an extremely unhappy person who takes it out on you and god knows who else.
I don’t even know you and I want to literally fight all these people for you. Why? Because you are being so hard on yourself for no reason other than you have sh%tty people in your life (not everyone but definitely her and the weirdos saying you shouldn’t have cut your hair).
Please please please stop being so hard on yourself. It’s your hair. You don’t need permission from anyone to do what you want with it.
Personally I’m an AH so I would go to the wedding because I’m petty. But I think if going to the wedding is too stressful for you or if you just don’t want to be around her (god knows you have every right to stay the f away from that monster), then don’t go.
Captain_Quoll said:
NTA. Asking the bride for permission to get a haircut is not a thing, especially if you aren’t in the wedding party.
I get that being overlooked as a kid can mess you up - but her blame is misplaced. That, and almost everybody gets messed up by something in their childhood. It isn’t a valid reason to maliciously single somebody out as an adult.
She is the person who is making her wedding about you by focusing so much on this nonsense. If she really thinks that all of her loved ones will ignore her on her wedding day because somebody has short hair, then she has way bigger problems than you anyway.
Artistic-InternalNB said:
NTA I’m not sure why she even invited others’ if she’s that insecure she thinks a haircut is enough to upstage a wedding wtf.
Status-Pattern7539 said:
NTA. You didn’t do it the day before the wedding. You didn’t do it to upstage the bride. People would have seen your new hair either in person or uploaded pictures MONTHS before the wedding. There is NO shock factor. It will be old news.
She is just overall a jealous individual and if the bride feels she will get upstaged at the wedding by a guests haircut well than maybe she needs to be a better bride or walk down the aisle naked or something.