"AITA for leaving a wedding to eat at McDonald's?"
Hi, I'm F25. Recently, my colleague (F31) invited me to her wedding, which happened yesterday. I was super excited and happy for her. Just in case, I asked her if there was any guest fees - she said 'No, you don't need to pay me anything.'
On the day itself, everything went well until it the reception (dinner time). To my shock, I was presented with a wedding menu that had prices on it. (For example: Steak ---- $50) Everything was ridiculously expensive, including the vegetarian options.
At first, I wanted to question her because well, she lied to me that I didn't have to pay for anything. But it was her wedding and I didn't want to spoil her day by embarrassing her in front of everyone.
However, the only other option was to simply not eat, as I didn't bring enough money for both a meal and a ride back. But this was completely unfavorable as I had skipped my lunch to 'save space' for the wedding meal and was pretty hungry.
Suddenly, I remembered that I saw a McDonald's about five minutes away from the hotel. As tactfully as I could, I asked the bride if I could make a quick stop to McDonald's as I didn't bring enough money for the reception meal. I said that I'd be back in time for the gift ceremony and cake.
I thought she'd agree, but to my horror - she got really upset. She said that she put in so much effort to get this 'Michelin-star restaurant service' yet I still wasn't happy. That I was trying to bring her down by saying that I'd rather eat McDonald's.
Alarmed, I said that I didn't mean it that way - I just didn't have the cash for it. She then scoffed, saying - 'Who's fault is that?' Although I was trying to keep in my anger, those words really pissed me off, so I told her 'You were the one who lied that I didn't need to pay anything!'
Getting angry as well, she replied: 'What I meant was there is no attendance fee! You literally assumed that you'd get a free five-course dinner. Wow, you're cheaper than I thought!' With a glare, she asked me to leave her wedding. I did, struckdumb and rather hurt.
(...And on my way home, I grabbed a Big Mac lol). Back at home, I told my boyfriend everything and asked if I was an a@*hole. He thought it was a funny story but said I was an AH - if I didn't have the money I could always pay her back later. In his exact words, he said 'You chose the wrong time to be stingy.'
My other friends agree as well, saying that it was not tactful of me for doing that at the wedding - and although she lied, I should have just brushed it off instead of dampening her happy spirits.
After hearing their opinions, I felt quite guilty and embarrassed. However, that one little part of me still thinks that it's justified because 1) she lied to me, and 2) publicly humiliated me. Please help me out. AITA?
Of course, the jury of internet strangers was prepared to judge this tacky mess of a reception. Here's what people had to say...
Info: why didn’t you just slip out and go get your food instead of making it a point to tell her?
Historical-Warning31 OP responded:
I initially wanted to do that, but I was afraid of being "caught lying" (though chances were slim). She was also going around asking the few people who didn't order why they weren't eating, so I figured I'd rather be straight-up. I agree that I handled it badly though.
"Handling it badly" would have been asking those other people if they wanted you to bring back something for them.
NTA but….not tactful. Never been to a wedding with any fees so would have been appalled if this info wasn’t included with the invite. (Questioning the Michelin rating for $50 a plate. Seems really low priced)
If you find yourself in a situation at a wedding next time consider talking to the MOH or another member of the wedding party instead of the bride.
Historical-Warning31 OP responded:
I agree that it was not tactful haha. And thanks for the really good advice :). About the $50, honestly (to me at least) it's rather pricey - if I recall correctly, the steak was 4oz (which isn't a big portion for $50). But I may be just stingy lol!
Really curious where you live that 'attendance fees' at weddings are a possibility, and 'michelin-star' restaurants don't have credit card facillities. And also why you had to specify to her that you were getting McDonald's instead of just slipping out?
Historical-Warning31 OP responded:
I'm not sure if credit cards were accepted, because I didn't bring mine to the wedding. (Pretty dumb of me because I should always carry some extra cash, but I assumed I wouldn't need it)
About the specification, I was worried of being asked why I wasn't eating and I figured telling the truth would be better. (Not a good choice though)
Artichoke-8951 said:
I've never been to a wedding where the guests pay for their meal. NTA.
PhoenixxFoxx said:
NTA - But I think you handled it wrong. You shouldn't have asked her if it was okay to leave and get McDonald's. You should have done it and come back. The bride/your colleague does sound like a bit of a jerk and she shouldn't have humiliated you that way.
I've never been to a wedding where I had to pay for my own food, and I've been to some cheap a*s weddings and some expensive a*s weddings. Next time, you'll know to be prepared. Also did you buy her a gift? Because if you didn't and showed up to get a free meal, then you're a bit of an as*hole.
MasterK999 said:
NTA. I have never heard of a wedding where the guests are expected to pay for dinner. Especially without any notice. The Bride's response is BS too. 'Attendance Fees' are not a thing at weddings. You asked and she said there was no cost. The misunderstanding is on her.
Jewpacabreh24 said:
I have never heard of a wedding having a menu where a guest had to pay for the dinner. The bride & groom are a*#*oles for not having that put on the invitations for everyone to know ahead of time.
Rranranru said:
NTA. Never before heard of a wedding where you have to pay for the food. If there's a food fee, she should have told you or it should have been clarified in the invitation. I do think that you handled it a bit clumsily - you should have just gone to McDonald's in secret and came back later. When asked, you could just say you wasn't feeling well and didn't want to eat.