For the record, I tried posting this 3 days ago but my account was too new.
I(24m) wasn't even going to make a post about this, but my brother, who I'll call Turk(25m), made 4 posts about it, so I thought I should share my side of the story. I'll use the same names he did for the sake of simplicity. My fiance is "Maria"(24f) and my ex is "Jen"(24f)
A little over 5 years ago, my brother started dating Maria, my (now) fiance. 3 months after they started dating, they set me up with her (now ex) best friend, Jen. The 4 of us did a lot together since the girls were best friends.
Turk and Maria dated for a year, and Jen and I dated for 9 months. At the end of our relationship, I came home early and found Turk and Jen having sex in my bed. After I processed the situation, I called Maria because I'd want to know if I was in her place. She came over, and we confronted Turk and Jen.
They dumped us, and, I found out 2 days later, started dating each other. It broke me. I came home to find my brother with my girlfriend and then he ran off with her. I had to move back in with my parents.
It was infuriating because they kept talking about how happy Turk and Jen were. Throughout the next couple of months, Maria and I started talking. We were two people in similar situations, and we found some comfort in each other.
4 months after we got dumped, Maria and I officially started dating. 6 months after we got dumped, Turk found out that Jen was cheating on him and she left him for the other guy (I actually only found this out today from reading Turks post).
Maria would get the occasional message from Turk, trying to reconnect but she ignored him.
Anyway, moving on to now. Maria and I are engaged and getting married in September. My parents were invited until my mom called me and threatened to not come if I didn't invite Turk. I told her to not bother coming regardless.
In my mother's eyes, Turk can do no wrong. When he was with and started dating my ex, I told my parents everything he did and my mom tried defending him. Our relationship isn't the greatest but it was somewhat decent.
After I uninvited my parents (I only uninvited my mom but my dad texted me and said he's not coming if my mom isn't) Turk blew up my phone trying to get ahold of me. This is the first time he's even tried reaching out to me in 4 years.
Like I said before, Turk posted about this situation here on reddit as well and apparently my parents told him that Maria and I were getting married and that started this whole thing of them getting uninvited.
He's stopped calling me but he's blowing up my phone with texts begging me to re-invite my parents and possibly give him an invite.
So yeah, I just wanted to get my side out there.
Your mom downplaying what he did to you is kinda telling who's side she's on. I've come across that piece. It seems in Turks eyes; he didn't do anything wrong either. And trying to get ahold of Maria is also trying to steal her from you...
You're better off without all of them from your life, moving forward. Good luck with your upcoming wedding.
I read his post and think he is just as slimy now. Op, you are good. I am also super proud of you for standing up for yourself, it’s hard. You are now my prime example of what I would like to be in that regards.
Please make sure you have security at your wedding. Also tell your wonderful soon to be wife’s maid of honor. She will prep to make sure things go alright when your mother and brother show up.
Oh Jesus! I would say: ignore them but we all know they will crash your wedding. So maybe you need security or another location. Oh and LC/NC with your mom/both parents.
I just read your brothers post. All I can do is wish you and Maria and lovely and long life together. Congratulations 🎉🍾
Back when my(25m) ex "Maria"(24f) and I were dating we set my brother "Arthur"(24m) up with his ex "Jen"(24f) who was Maria's (I guess now ex) best friend. Maria and I dated for about a year, and Arthur and Jen dated for about 9 months.
We'd constantly do things together since Maria and Jen were best friends. Out of our little group, my personality matched Jen's the most, which led to us getting close. I felt so comfortable around Jen, and we both had a moment of weakness. We were at a party, and we did the deed.
We snuck around for about a week before Arthur and Maria found out. Jen and I decided we'd be better together, so we broke off our relationship and started dating each other.
Jen and I dated for about 6 months, and it was amazing until I found out she was cheating on me and she left me for the other guy. I was heartbroken. I thought I found my match. I kept thinking about how good Maria was to me.
In hindsight, she treated me way better than Jen ever did. I went to message her to beg her to take me back but decided to look at her Instagram pictures first and that's when I found out that her and Arthur had started dating in the 6 months Jen and I were together.
They've been together for 4 years, and I found out from my parents that they're getting married in September. It hurt so much finding that out. What hurt even more was the fact that I didn't receive an invite.
I mean, I know things have happened between us, but Arthur and I are brothers. We're family. When I told my parents I hadn't received an invite, they phoned Arthur and tried to get him to invite me, but all that ended up doing is getting them uninvited.
I tried calling Arthur to get them re-invited and to get myself invited but he didn't answer any of my calls. My parents haven't said anything, but I feel like they're mad at me for getting them uninvited from Arthur's wedding.
Am I wrong for accidently getting my parents uninvited from my brother's wedding?
Wait, you had sex with your brothers girlfriend and then started dating her? And now you dont know why he doesn't want you at his wedding? Am I reading that right?
Edit: Yeah, OP, you're wrong as f*(*. You ran off with your brothers girlfriend leaving your ex and your brother devastated. Then you sicked your parents on him because you weren't invited to the wedding and you wonder why they're uninvited. They're uninvited because they sided with you and showed their true colors. Anyone who would side with you is trash.
You are completely wrong and so obtuse this can’t be real
Why in the world would you think they would want you there? Brother or not you did something incredibly shitty to him (and her) and that’s the consequence. Your parents should have stayed out of it. You were wrong in this whole situation.
His brother even left a comment:
Figures you'd make a reddit post about not being invited to my wedding. Some things never change
Here's a summary since my original post is pretty long. My brother, Turk, set me up with my ex. I walked in on him and my ex having sex in my bed, and it broke me. My wife, Maria, was also cheated on, so we understood each other.
Maria and I dated for four years until we got married a couple of weeks ago. 2 months before my wedding, Turk talked to my parents and got my mom to try to get him invited, but all that did was get my mom uninvited.
My dad didn't come because my mom didn't. That's basically it.
My wedding was amazing, it went so smoothly. I didn't hear from Turk. He didn't even show up as far as I know. My parents didn't show up and try to make a scene or anything, which was good. My mom didn't text me, but my dad texted me saying congratulations.
I guess Turk talked to my mom because she texted me shortly after my honeymoon, basically begging me to forgive Turk because he's my brother. I didn't text back. It's not worth it. That was a week ago, and I haven't gotten any other texts from my mom or Turk since.
And that's it. The funny part is that Turk is still trying to get our mom to solve his problems. But all of that's behind me now.
Congrats on getting married. Glad it was drama free. Hopefully your parents learn to respect your boundaries in the future.
Congrats! As far as mom, don't answer any text where she mentions your brother.
Congratulations! That was a crazy ride with your brother posting and you responding. I hope one day your mom realizes what she did by taking sides. I understand why your father chose not to come but by end of the day he must really resent your mom and your brother for making him make that choice.
Congratulations on a wonderful wedding. Your brother needs to grow up and fight his own battles. Your mom needs to stop being your brother's flying monkey.
Way to stick your guns, King. Your mom FAFO.