Bride asks if it's bad to disinvite relatives who won't participate in spooky wedding.
Elaborate theme weddings are becoming more and more popular these days leaving some people very excited and others rolling their eyes or clutching their pearls at the downfall of traditional white- weddings.
Reddit user u/zombiebouqets falls under the excited category as she and her fiancé plan the spooky wedding of their dreams. In attendance will be zombies, werewolves, and a few very annoyed relatives.
This bride-to-be is asking the internet, 'AITA (Am I The A**hole) for dis-inviting my fiancé's aunt and uncle from our wedding unless they agree to honor our wedding's color scheme?'
She writes:
My fiancé Jeremy and I are having a Creature Feature-themed wedding. In order to save money we're having before October instead of around Halloween. We sent out our invitations a couple of weeks ago and have started to hear back from people.
It's seriously being a headache because every other person has some kind of gripe about our wedding. No children under 15 are allowed. There's no ring bearer or flower girls or junior bridesmaids- but relatives in either family think their kid should have that honor.
Love my nieces, nephews, and little cousins but the main reason for this is the Creature Feature aspect. Lots of zombies, vampires, werewolves, etc. Stuff like instead of my father walking me down the aisle to the podium, we're going to be chased by zombified wedding party to the podium.
Obviously, with monsters, we're going for a dark and dreary look. We've given guests the choice of coming in costume or a minimum of smart casual attire.
To keep with the dark and dreary aesthetic, we've asked our wedding party and guests to please wear one of the following colors or any combination: Black, blue, red, silver, gray, dark purple, and white accents are allowed.
Jeremy's aunt called asking if we were serious about the color requirement. We told her yes. His aunt and uncle insist they're already compromising enough by making their youngest kid miss out on an important family event.
She said they weren't going to further make a mockery of weddings by dressing all gloomy because weddings should be a festive occasion so she'll be wearing one of her favorite pink dresses and her husband in a yellow shirt. We told them we'd discuss it.
We did and figured we'd stick to our colors. We called them back and told them if they feel that strongly about it, it'd probably be best if they didn't attend because we don't want to force them to wear colors they don't like or attend a wedding they don't vibe with. If they change their minds, let us know before the RSVP date.
Some of Jeremy's family and our wedding party are telling us now we should just let them wear what they want since we're already making it hard and unconventional by banning young kids and having things like zombie chases, Halloween games, etc.
I think we're already being pretty generous and relaxed with our guests and wedding party in how they dress. I want our families to have fun with us. Are we being AHs?
She added more info for clarity:
'Smart casual' is a compromise we made for Jeremy's family. They didn't like the idea of people showing up to a wedding in casual attire because it wasn't proper. I'm already compromising with my family by wearing a gown.
Compromises on our part have been made already. If someone just doesn't have the colors or can't afford something new fine, let us know and we can work something out! Help get something or offer something to put on during the ceremony part.
If it was that kind of situation with his aunt, she wouldn't have been disinvited, it was the telling us we're making a mockery of weddings with it that did her in.
I read the title and really thought she'd be an a-hole bridezilla, but this bride's requests are really quite simple. She actually left her guests lots of easily achieved non-costume options as far as attire. Come on, everyone has black clothes in their closet at the very least.
This aunt obviously just disapproves of the idea of a spooky theme wedding. That's the only reason she's throwing a fit and saying, 'I'm wearing pink.' If she doesn't like it, she doesn't have to come. (I'll take her place, this wedding sounds fun as hell.) Auntie Wet Blanket can stay home and save her pink dress for a Mean Girls-themed wedding or something.
Reddit agreed that this bride-to-be is not 'The A**hole.' What do you think?
From This-Is-Heath
NTA. If they are this upset over clothing colors imagine what will set them off at the wedding. This is a day for your partner; celebrate how you want.
From annarchy8
NTA. I got married on Halloween. The wedding was Resident Evil-themed. Every guest was encouraged to wear a costume and, if they didn't, they got a lab coat with an Umbrella Corp logo ironed on by me.
Everyone we invited (adults only) was fine with it or they didn't bother showing up. My FIL did at one point say that it didn't seem like we were taking our marriage seriously and I had to ask him how his two serious church weddings and two marriages and two divorces worked out. He shut up about it after that.
It's your party. Do it how you want it done.
From Dennis_Ogre
Guest are welcome to not participate in your craziness. Perhaps OP should tell aunt and uncle a bouncer will dump a bucket of blood on anyone who doesn’t match the color scheme. And follow through on it. NTA
From acegirl1985
Hey a pink dress covered in fake blood could be an awesome nod to Carrie lol (wrong horror show I know but maybe it’s Carrie after she dies at the end of the movie. Maybe have a fake tiara and sash ready to complete the look… and tiaras are formal so everyone’s happy! NTA it’s your wedding- not hers
Honestly, NTA!
I HATE how people make weddings about themselves and not the 2 actually tying the knot. Weddings can be designed and celebrated however you want. There are no rules in place to how they should be. I wouldn’t want kids at mine either. And if anything you’re doing her a favor as she will make a mockery of herself by not matching the theme.
It will be your happy day so do what will make you happy and try not to let other make you feels bad. Your wedding sounds hella dope btw! Let me take her invitation instead. Congrats!!
I was all set to say that people needed to stop with the mandatory color schemes for weddings but this one is actually pretty reasonable. And they are not even requiring formal wear so Aunt and Uncle could just go buy a black shirt and black pants at Walmart and be fine.
This theme is no different than the ridiculous Disney weddings or a destination wedding that no one can afford. I'm not even into zombies and I would rather go to this wedding! NTA