So, when a conflicted bride decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about her bridesmaid's awkward wedding toast, people were quick to help deem a verdict.
I (28F) just recently got married last week. And from the title of this post, you can see that I am not really the best person. I have a close friend who we'll call Jana (28F). Jana and I have not always been friends.
In HS, I constantly teased her, calling her the nerd of the class cause I was an insecure as$ (she got really good grades). Maybe because I teased her, other people also started teasing her on her grades.
She had confronted me privately about this and I did stop teasing her after that since I got embarrassed. The class prolly thought that it was an old joke now and stopped too.
It was in college that we finally became close. We saw each other at a reunion and we realized that our universities were near. Since then, we regularly hung out and became close friends.
I invited her to my wedding as a bridesmaid and she gladly accepted. During the wedding toasts, she recounted the bullying she went through from me, saying 'I can't believe we're friends even though you bullied me all throughout high school.
I don't know if she was joking when she said that. I've made my best effort to make it up to her and apologized time and time again. She accepted my apology each time, even laughing it off that I was overthinking. I thought we had finally put the past behind us.
After the toasts, I was hurt and confused but decided to talk to her later because I wanted to enjoy my wedding. But during the party, my sister/MOH came up to me worried, saying that there have been a lot of people asking Jana about the bullying and she was detailing every single thing I said.
I had my sister get Jana and I talked to her privately in the back, asking why she brought up the bullying and she got offended. She said that she was just telling the truth.
I replied that it was okay to talk about this, but at least on a different time and situation. She called me an AH for invalidating her feelings because it was true that I bullied her. I ended up crying and she walked out.
Now there are rumors that I bullied her again after some people saw Jana walking out. My in-laws have also inquired about the matter too and have been quite cold to me even though I've already explained the matter.
My mom, sis, and husband are on my side but a few friends from my circle said that I had to deal with the consequences of my past actions. I understand that I really hurt her, but I really thought we've moved past this or at least would bring it up again privately instead of in front of a whole crowd.
I just don't think that it was the right time and place given that our relationship is quite close and she never brought it up again in the 7 years we've been friends. AITA?
It seems like this bridesmaid needed an audience to admit she still holds a grudge from the way her friend treated her in high school and a wedding day is certainly one way to make a splash. Ruining someone's wedding by making sure the entire dance floor is discussing that the bride used to be a mean girl? Revenge is sweet...
Defiant-Currency-518 said:
NTA (Not the As*hole) but mad respect for Jana’s long game, not gonna lie.
PJfanRI said:
NTA. You were an as*hole in high school for sure, but many of us were and you acknowledge it. You've done what you could to show contrition to your friend. If she wanted to talk about it with you or your circle of friends she could have picked any time to do it since you attended university together.
She probably picked your wedding day to exact revenge on you. She took one of the happiest days of your life and did what she could to ruin it. In short, you were the a*shole 10 years ago. She is the as*hole today.
Therezna said:
Wow that lady played the long game. But what an AH thing to do. Especially after you've apologized countless times and tried to make it up to her. I don't think you should stay friends with her. I'm sorry that happened to you cause like, kids are dumb. You shouldn't be penalized for being a dumb, jealous teenager.
ohnosandpeople said:
She wanted you to reap what you sowed in HS and spent a looong time planning the harvest. You're not friends. Cut your losses and move on. ESH (Everyone Sucks Here)
The general opinion from the internet court was that this bridesmaid's long game was petty and immature for a wedding day, especially if this bride thought her apology had been accepted. Good luck, everyone!