Over on Reddit people are discussing this amazing 'Dear Prudence' story, where a bride had one rule for the wedding – no funny business at the cake cutting. Well, the husband stuck to the letter of the law, but made things much worse. Now she wants to know if she should get divorced. Here's her story...
I got married just before Christmas and am hoping to be divorced or annulled by the end of January. Obviously, that wasn’t the plan originally, but …
Sounds like she's already made up her mind, but let's see.
I never cared about getting married, but I wasn’t opposed to it. So when my boyfriend proposed in 2020, we decided to go for it. We each took on about half the responsibility for organizing the wedding, but I think I was pretty reasonable about compromise when he really wanted something. My only hard-and-fast rule was that he would not rub cake in my face at the reception.
Not too enthusiastic about the wedding, but very enthusiastic about not having cake in her face. That's fine, right? Some people find that humiliating.
Being a reasonable man who knows me well, he didn’t. Instead, he grabbed me by the back of the head and shoved my head down into it. It was planned since the cake was DESTROYED, and he had a bunch of cupcakes as backup.
She contradicts herself here. This isn't reasonable if he knows you well, because now you want a divorce. He obviously thought you'd have a sense of humor about this, which you do not.
I left. Next day I told him we were done. I am standing by that. The thing is that over the holidays EVERYONE has gotten together to tell me I should give him a second chance. That I am overreacting because of my issues (I am VERY claustrophobic after a car accident years ago, and I absolutely panicked at being shoved into a cake and held there).
So wait, are you standing by this, or not?
People are saying that I do love him (even though right now I don’t feel that at all), he loves me, and that means not giving up at the first hurdle. I don’t want to, but everyone is so united and confident in their assurance I am making a terrible mistake that I wonder if they are right.
—Give Him Till February?
Here's what 'Prudence had to say':
Everyone’s sure you’re making a mistake, but they’re not the ones who have to wake up every day with a man whose behavior massively turns them off. You are. So you only have to listen to yourself.
I think what he did was a red flag about not respecting you and your wishes—to say nothing of the physical aggression—but even if it wasn’t, the fact that you really didn’t like it is enough. Make a mental note about which of your loved ones don’t seem to value your happiness, and continue with your divorce.
And here's what the judge and jury of Reddit had to say:
Very few people realize how dangerous this is. Most fancy cakes contain skewers that are hidden to support the weight of the higher tiers. You can literally kill someone by smashing their face into the cake, especially enough to destroy the cake.
I work as a paralegal, and our firm handled a case for a kid who shoved his friend's face into a tiered cake and lost an eye. Never ever ever do this.
He ruined the cake which I'm sure wasn't cheap which to me shows he has no respect for anything. That poor woman.
I'm not for the cake thing either . I would've be pissed if I got caked ,but divorcing someone for it is a bit extreme imo .
It is extremely annoying and disrespectful but it can't be a reason to get a divorce. Give him a chance. If one is married throughout lifetime bigger and more complex problems are thrown at the couple and the individuals, one has to stick through the smaller issues so one may tide through the bigger ones.
Marriage can't be treated as such a fragile bond that can be broken because of extreme immaturity showed at an occasion
So there you have it. Should she dump him, or give him a second chance?