'My husband’s coworker expected me to film her wedding for free, then dragged my name through his office when I refused.' UPDATED
"My husband’s coworker expected me to film her wedding for free, then dragged my name through his office when I refused."
I’m a 29(F) videographer. I do weddings, small events, and promo videos for local businesses. My husband (34) works at an architecture firm, and one of his coworkers, I'll call her (Rachel) got married on last month Saturday, September 28th.
Rachel told me about her wedding early last month, we met each other at an office BBQ my husband’s firm was hosting. She came over very friendly and said, "Oh my God, I just found out you do wedding videos! You have to do mine! It’ll be so nice to have someone I already know behind the camera."
I smiled and told her sure, I’d love to send her my rate sheet. My prices are normal for the area — $1,800 for a full-day shoot, editing, and a highlight reel. She smiled, said she’d check it out, and that was it.
A week later, she texted me, saying ; Wait, I thought since we’re basically family through your husband’s job, you’d give me a friend discount or maybe do it as a gift 🥰. I told her nicely that I don’t mix personal or work connections with free jobs. I’ve seen how messy that gets, especially with people connected to my husband’s office. She read it and didn’t reply.
Days past and my husband came home from work looking uncomfortable. He said, Hey, just a heads-up that Rachel’s been telling people you’re doing her wedding video.
I was stunned, because he knew I'd told me I I agreed. I hadn’t agreed to anything. I texted her asking why she’d say that, and she replied.. oh I just assumed you changed your mind! I’ve been so stressed, I figured you’d understand.
I told her clearly that I wasn’t available that weekend and had already booked another client.
She just said, Okay, but I really hope you reconsider.
The wedding day on the last Saturday of September 28th. At 7:10 a.m., my phone started ringing nonstop. It was Rachel. When I finally picked up, she was crying and yelling that her videographer had canceled at the last minute and she needed me to come through for her.
I told her I had another client and couldn’t just abandon them. She completely lost it, accusing me of being heartless and ungrateful after she’d always been so nice to me and my husband. I told her this was exactly why I don’t mix work and personal connections, and I hung up. I blocked her number right after.
My husband did end up going to the wedding for a few hours since it was a coworker event and he didn’t want to make things more awkward at work. He said it was tense and Rachel barely acknowledged him.
This past week, HR called my husband into a meeting. Turns out Rachel emailed them claiming I had agreed to film her wedding and then backed out last minute, causing her to lose precious memories.
She even implied that I was somehow representing his firm because we’re married. My husband had to explain the whole story to HR, and thankfully they believed him, but it was still embarrassing for both of us.
It shocking that Rachel didn't stop at that, she made a Facebook post that night complaining about unprofessional videographers and tagged my business page. I had to contact Facebook to get it removed.
Apparently, people in my husband’s office are acting weird around him, like I’m the stuck-up wife who refused to help. I’ve worked hard to build my name and reputation, and I’m furious that someone’s entitlement could threaten that, all because she didn’t want to pay for a service. Some people really think knowing someone equals owing them.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
If I was your husband i would file a complaint with HR about Rachel's harassment. Its as simple as that.
Yup. And I'd also pay a lawyer a few bucks for a cease and desist, which fully lays out the civil suit you'll file if she doesn't grow up and start acting like an adult.
Your husband needs to march back into HR and get Rachel sorted.
That’s outrageous...
Wow.... I'm speechless. Professional photographer here, although I avoid weddings for exactly these reasons. This is when I would seriously consider compiling evidence and at least threatening a libel / slander lawsuit. Rachel needs to be taught this kind of behavior is unacceptable. Getting a gag order put on her would be quite entertaining.
This was my thought. She is slandering OP’s business and I would contact a lawyer to see if there is a case here. Glad she was able to have FB shut it down but there are many other social media sites she can use to go after OP.
I guess in the future for OP and anyone else with a personal business; make sure all of your interactions regarding your services are in writing (text or email). If someone starts talking to you about it, say “Hey, I don’t discuss business on my off time but I’ll send you an email later and we can discuss.
Two days later, the OP returned with an update.
Hey everyone! I posted a while back about my husband’s coworker, Rachel, who expected me to film her wedding for free, then dragged my name through his office and even HR, when I refused.
I wanted to give a quick update since a few people requested for it.
So, Rachel actually apologized.
Apparently, after HR looked into everything, and my husband explained the full story (with messages to back it up), they made it clear she’d crossed some serious line. This morning, she sent my husband an email owning up to it. She said she realized she’d been unprofessional, that she made assumptions, and that she never should’ve told anyone I was filming her wedding before I’d agreed.
She also admitted that posting about my business on Facebook was out of line, and she’d taken it down. She told my husband she’d clarified things with a few coworkers who’d heard her side of the story too.
Honestly, I didn’t expect her to apologize at all, so that was surprising. I’m still not thrilled about the damage control we had to do, but I appreciate that she at least took responsibility instead of doubling down.
Hopefully, this is the end of it.
Thanks again to everyone who backed me up in the original post. Y’all made me feel so much less crazy about standing my ground.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Someone probably explained to her she could be sued for defamation.
Sugardrenched (OP)
I think so. She just came back to her senses.
I would get your husband to ask a couple of colleagues if she actually did clarify the situation with them as she claims she did. After all, she did lie wildly in the first place - why would anyone trust her when she says she's rectified things at work? Great if she did actually take responsibility, no harm in him making sure. Trust but verify.
A coworker isn’t where you look for $1800 gifts.
This is why i refuse to associate with coworkers outside of the job lol.
Unless it was a client dinner or something with my boss, i ain't going. Ever.
So, what do you think of this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?