'AITA for not letting my mom loan my wedding dress to her friend 'just for one day'?'
"AITA for not letting my mom loan my wedding dress to her friend?"
Chocolate_dinos
So I moved three hours away from home when I got married and at the time I couldn't bring all my belongings with me because we didn't have a house yet. My wedding dress among other things stayed at my moms house. We have a house now (a year later) but with a new baby I just haven't had the time to go to my mom's and pick up all my things.
Last night, my mom texted me to ask if I even wanted my dress anymore. She said she has this friend who's getting married and needed a dress and asked me if I would let her have my dress. She also said she had tried it on and it even fit her.
I told her absolutely not, that this was something special to me and that I would bring it back with me next time I go see her. She went on to try to convince me that the dress is just something materialistic, and that I could at least just let her borrow it because they don't have a lot of money for their wedding.
At this point I'm getting annoyed and just keep telling her no. She says it would just be for one day and that she will get it tailored for me afterward, and that there's no point in just letting it waste away in my closet.
Now I'm just annoyed with my mom and I tell her to go find one at the goodwill if she's so desperate and NO her friend cannot have mine. My mom has always tried to convince me to do things I don't want to do. When I was younger, she would always get her way. Now that im older, I've learned to stand up to her and be firm when I say no. Am I being the AH?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
Emcas299
NTA - but go and get your dress now. My guess is that she already told her friend yes and wouldn't be surprised if it isn't at your Mum's anymore, but the friends place until she gets married.
Crafty-Gardener
The fact that mom has already let friend try the dress on without consulting OP makes me think you are right. There is a very good possibility the friend already has the dress and had it tailored to fit her. Otherwise why would mom be talking about having the dress re-tailored to OP.
Exciting-Froyo3825
I think you’re right. The mom did at the very least tell her yes. My mom has been doing this with my baby’s stuff lately and it’s pissing me off. She wants to just and everything to her cleaning lady. My SIL (husband’s sister) is pregnant and I’ve been trying to give my things to her for her baby.
They don’t make a lot of money and I have some nice things. My mom doesn’t understand why I want to give things to SIL because she thinks her cleaning lady is less fortunate. I keep trying to tell her it’s not about fortunate or not fortunate.
It’s about it being my things that I bought and are sentimental to me being passed to someone who I will see regularly and see their baby using and feeling good about the life these things (that I spent hours picking out and saving for) are living beyond us. I’ve met her cleaning lady twice for a total of 10 minutes combined.
I know she doesn’t have babies and I don’t know if she’s passing my things on to someone who will truly use/need them or if she’s just taking them to be kind to my mother and tossing it all in a dump on the way home. I know my mom has promised something of mine to the cleaning lady when she pushes for me to get rid of something.
I get ultimatums of “get it off my porch tomorrow or (lady) will take them when she comes this week” or statements of “I’m coming by to pick up this thing for (lady)” when we didn’t discuss any of this. Sorry for the rant but I think OP is NTA. I hate when people trample over others sentiments.
Special-Parsnip9057
Given the history you’ve stated I would be willing to bet she’s already promised it or given it away. I would make my way there at the soonest possible time to get the rest of your stuff with the hubby. NTA.
Mysterious_Pea_5008
NTA. You don't need to provide others with your wedding dress, or any wedding dress, but I suspect your mother has already taken it upon herself to do that for you.