Man calls entitled SIL a 'bridezilla' to her face, 'they're just dresses;' AITA?

While rumors of 'bridezillas' might be swirling around the family group chats, calling out a bride for her pre-wedding behavior can be a dangerous move...

Some brides might get unfairly accused to being too controlling, but forcing your future husband to sleep in the guest room because you disagreed over the cake flavor is a new level. So, when a conflicted man decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet about his entitled sister-in-law stirring up family drama before her wedding, people were ready to roast her.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for calling my SIL-to-be a 'Bridezilla' to her face?

My older brother is getting married in September. His fiancé isn't exactly my favorite person. She was three years ahead of me at school and, while I hesitate to call it 'bullying' because it wasn't that serious, she and her friends definitely gave me a rough time throughout school and needless to say I've always kinda resented her a bit.

She's been super stressy about the wedding, to an extent that I feel is unnecessary. She'll stomp her feet and pout over the slightest thing, from the venue not having the exact right shade of off-white for the seat covers, to my brother suggesting a different flavor of cake to the one she picked out (he slept in the guest room for three nights after that one).

Like I said, to me, it all seems very unnecessary over-the-top, but for the sake of keeping the peace, I've kept quiet thus far.

Two days ago, however, I'd kinda had enough. Our cousin is also getting married in two weeks, and my little sister is being bridesmaid at both.

SIL was already pissed that cousin's wedding is so close to hers (even though cousin's was booked first), but she absolutely lost it when my sister showed her the bridesmaid's dresses for cousin's wedding.

You see, they're blue, and SIL wanted her bridesmaids to wear blue. She went off on this huge rant about how cousin is trying to upstage her and stealing all of her ideas

Mind you, cousin's bridesmaid's dresses are a super deep royal blue, and the ones SIL was considering are a very pale baby blue, as well as being a completely different style.

Maybe I'm just being a fashion-ignorant man, but I really don't see why they can't both have bridesmaids in blue, especially when the dresses are so different.

Anyway, when SIL stopped ranting and calling our cousin every name under the sun I kinda rolled my eyes and went 'They're just dresses, no need to go all Bridezilla about it.' As you can imagine, she didn't like that.

She stormed out of my mum's house in a huff, sent me a number of abusive texts, and has been ranting about me to my brother and trying to convince him to drop me as a groomsman ever since.

He's pissed too because now he's getting an earful because of me, my sister says I could've 'said it better' and my mum keeps telling me that I'm being insensitive and that planning a wedding is super stressful for a bride so I should be more considerate about why she's so highly strung at the moment.

I honestly don't see what I did wrong, but maybe you lot as an objective third party can give me some insight.

Yikes...I hope everyone brought their protective gear to this wedding because she's about to emerge from the radiactive seas. Here's what the jury of internet strangers and wedding shamers had to say about this mess:

NeonArlecchino said:

NTA. She is being a bridezilla and enabling her isn't going to help. She needs to be considerate of those around her and your brother needs to think about if he wants to marry someone who behaves like this in a stressful situation.

voltaire155 said:

NTA. I've done a wedding myself, it REALLY isn't that stressful. Her behavior is unreasonable and you had every right to call her out on her BS behavior. To be honest...sounds like your brother is making a mistake even marrying her.

NinjaBarf said:

NTA. Your bridezilla SIL to be is a spoiled, self-entitled, and petulant adult. It's disgusting. Especially with the fact that your cousin clearly planned the wedding way before your SIL to be.

She needs to get over herself and acting like it's the end of the world over everything. Your brother should not be getting married to them but that's just my opinion.

MayunaRose said:

NTA. Do people really react like this? She threw a fit because the dresses are both blue? I don't think it's just stress, I think she's super entitled.

nose_ina_book said:

NTA. I'm getting married in October, the best man booked his wedding after us for 5 weeks before ours. I know very little about their wedding and it wouldn't impact on my choices for my wedding.

Bridesmaids picked the color of their dresses, my fiance and I tried cake samples together and picked what we both liked.

Your future SIL sounds awful, it's not just her wedding, it's your brother's wedding too. Sleeping in another room because of the flavor of the cake is insane. You're NTA for calling her a bridezilla because she is a bridezilla.

asuperbstarling said:

NTA. Flipping out because another bride uses a color like her - when blue is one of the most common wedding colors too, take it from someone planning a wedding - is absolutely bridezilla behavior.

Tell your family your brother's wedding is no more important than your cousin's, and you won't put one family member's happiness ahead of another. The people being inconsiderate are those showing favor to a bully.

You're not being fashion ignorant, you're hitting the nail on the head: shades of the color make all the difference in both photography and wedding color scheme.

She needs to learn to get along with other brides or she's going to end up turning the rest of the family against her even if your close family puts on their blinders. There's no excuse to be abusive.

So, there you have it...

Everyone agreed unanimously here that this man wasn't wrong to be honest with his sister-in-law, despite how harsh it might have been. Clearly someone needed to tell her what the rest of the family was thinking, because she isn't the first bride in history to choose 'blue' for the bridesmaids dresses. Good luck, everyone!