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Man 'hates' where his wife wants to get her fifth tattoo, 'I'm begging;' AITA?

Man 'hates' where his wife wants to get her fifth tattoo, 'I'm begging;' AITA?


If your partner is excited to get a new tattoo, but you hate the thought of staring at it every day...can you say anything or should you take that opinion to the grave?

So, when a conflicted husband decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As%hole' about his wife's tattoo idea, people were ready to weigh in.

AITA (Am I the As$hole) for hating where my wife is going to get a tattoo?

My Wife (28F) and I (34M) have been married for 3 years. I love her to death and she is the best thing in my life. However, she wants to get a tattoo.

She already has 4 (Hip, Bicep, Shoulder, Sideboob) and I have no problem with them. I have 2 myself. This proposed tattoo though is causing problems.

She wants to get a fairly large floral design with a hummingbird on her chest. It would be from just under her collarbone and down to between her boobs. It would be visible in nearly every shirt she'd wear.

I'm begging her to reconsider where it goes. I don't like the location of where she wants to get it.

This has caused a few arguments with her calling me an a#shole and mostly cites it is her body and I shouldn't be controlling her.

I don't have an issue with the tattoo itself, I have an issue with where she wants it. So AITA?

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this one...

GothPenguin said:

NTA-For expressing your opinion. YTA for not letting it go once she made it clear that while she’s heard your opinion she’s not going to alter the location on her body to suit you.

mencryforme5 said:

YTA. You are allowed to give your opinion, and she's allowed to not agree with your opinion. Her body, her choice. End of story.

To be extra clear: you are entitled to hate her tattoo. You are not entitled to constantly bring it up and try to pressure her not to get it.

ramessides said:

NTA. I know people don’t want to hear this, but when you’re in a marriage, any permanent changes your partner makes to their body affect you as well, and it’s not unreasonable to be able to have a say in it.

If my partner suddenly put those awful spacers in his ear I would hate that. Likewise if I tattooed my face he wouldn’t be a fan of that either.

My dad hates a hairstyle my mum really likes having, and my mum hates a hairstyle my dad loves having. They compromise, because they’re married, and surprise, they have to be the ones to look at each other every day.

If OP is going to have to look at his wife every day, then if she’s going to make permanent, altering decisions to her body, then he gets to express his opinion on it, as would she in the reverse.

Not only that, but if it’s going to be visible even when she’s wearing a shirt… OP, is your wife employed? Because in most industries that would be in the realm of a face tattoo, and they are not considered very professional and I have seen people get let go over it.

Unless your body is completely covered everywhere else, hands and face should be left alone if you want to hold down a job or be able to find jobs down the line (for most industries—even industries that don’t care if you have full sleeves/legs).

HiddenHoneybadgerz said:

NTA, lot of weird people on here clearly not in long term relationships. I also think tattoos in that area are very unattractive, which for others is fine since it is their body and the tattoo isn't for me, however those people are not my wife and I don't have to see the tattoo every day.

Ultimately it is up to her but I'm not sure I would stay with someone that just completely disregards my opinions.

AntiDogGuy69-1 said:

NTA. You can have a preference on what you like. It’s okay to verbalize your dislike. You are married. She should consider your feelings.

lbrlokie77 said:

NTA yes it is her body but marriage is a compromise. You told her how you feel, did you suggest a different place? Make sure you are telling her your feeling and not just being a prick.

Note to anyone out there trying to control their partner's tattoo vision...beware.

Sources: Reddit
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