Man asks if it's wrong to skip brother's wedding after he lied about marrying his ex.
Family should love each other unconditionally, but we know all too well the realities of sibling rivalry. Since Cain and Abel, brothers have been at odds, and now things are no different.
Reddit user u/1231throwawayaccount is so angry at his brother over a two-year-long deception and betrayal that he's refusing to even attend his wedding.
His family thinks he's overreacting, so now he's asking the internet 'AITA (Am I The A**hole) for refusing to attend my brother's wedding?'
He writes:
So as the title gives away my(19M) brother(22, we'll call him Jay) is getting married to his girlfriend (21, we'll call her Grey) of a couple of years. From everything I've heard of her, she's great, kind, makes him more happy than I've ever seen him and I was ecstatic that he was getting married...until I learned that she was my ex.
Me and Grey dated for around 6 months when I was 17 and she was 19, the age gap wasn't a problem for us and we got along just fine, but she kept bringing up me always being busy and I kept apologizing and saying I can't be available all the time, but she wasn't really having any of it and broke things off.
What made it worse is a month later her and Jay started dating. I was furious with him and told him off for pursuing my ex and then cut him off and told him 'talk to me again when you're not talking to her anymore.'
He contacted me 2 months later saying they broke up, I believed him because me and Grey broke contact completely before. So me and Jay started talking again. We're also kinda contacting each other long-distance right now since he's in the military- so I don't really have a close look at his life.
When Jay announced his engagement with Grey (he never said her name) we were all excited for him, especially when he pulled me aside and I got even more excited because I thought he was gonna ask me to be his best man
He told me 'so about the girl I'm marrying...I don't want you to be mad at me, but...you know when I said I broke up with Grey...'
I didn't even let him finish before saying 'I'm not attending your fucking wedding' and walking out. I tried my best not to make a scene but everyone saw me leave and was blowing up my phone afterward asking what happened and why I was being such an ass walking out on Jay like that.
I pretty much responded to all of them, 'Don't try convincing me to attend his wedding when he lied to me for 2 years' My mom is pissed and so is my grandma that I'm 'making a scene out of something so small and to just get over it' AITA?
Billions of people in the world and this dude just happens to fall in love with his brother's ex. Wow.
As much as that sucks, if that were the only issue between these siblings, I would say the OP (Original Poster) should let bygones be bygones since he only dated Grey for 6 months. However, the heart of this problem is the massive deception. To blatantly lie to your brother for 2 years and then drop the bomb on him only when you publicly announce the engagement is shady as hell. I don't blame this bro for being angry. It's a huge betrayal. This guy is 'Not The A**hole.'
Redditors landed firmly on #TeamBro. The groom-to-be is the clear a-hole here. They all agree there's no shame in clicking decline on that RSVP.
From Radiant_Mail5626
NTA. Something small? If your own brother felt he had to lie to you about the relationship, you know it's messed up. Obviously, you have to do the healthy choice and move on ( which from your tone sounds like you are succeeding in doing ) but you have no obligation to attend her wedding let alone to your own brother.
From chicamooncr2
NTA, I would not be upset about him marrying her (if it's in the past), but about him lying and hiding it this way for who knows how long, smh...
From ProfPlumDidIt
NTA. A two-year lie isn't something small. It's proof he can and will stab you in the back if he thinks it will benefit him. I'd not only refuse to attend, I'd tell him you no longer consider him a brother and will never speak to him again.
From TennisKitty
NTA. Dating your sibling’s ex immediately after the breakup is a serious violation of the Sibling Code. The fact that he lied for two years about this relationship is also very messed up. You do not need to go to this wedding.
From ColdAccomplished5832
He lied to you for two years. He could have been honest with you. While you may have been upset with him dating grey, if he had told you the truth right from the start it would have been different. Instead, he lied about it. NTA
From ManyManyManyLots
I don't think a 6 month long relationship would be worth burning bridges for, but lying to you for 2 years might be. NTA